5 Times My Drunken Words Were Not Sober Thoughts

So there is a saying floating around that seems to be fairly regularly seen to be accurate and true.  This saying is "Drunken words are sober thoughts" or one of the various forms of this saying.  However as a 20 year old girl who does occasionally over indulge in alcoholic beverages I can honestly say that I have regularly not found that to be true.  Maybe that's because I am a full time truth exaggerator at the best of times but regardless, here are 5 times when I personally have found the above saying to be lies and slander.

I do love cats though.

1. Okay so the first time I ever got drunk it hit me like a thousand knifes stabbing me all over my body, I couldn't breathe, couldn't think.  At least, not about anything except how incredibly happy, free confused and lonely I felt.  However, during this night I also tried to tell everyone who would listen, with a fair amount of conviction, that I was and had always been a cat.  Now I may repeatedly fill my head with a whole lot of nonsense every day but I am 98% sure that sober G does not think she is a cat.  


2. I struggle to remember the last time I went on a night out as G.  As soon as the drinks start flowing the spirit of Blair Waldorf emerges from my soul.  Sometimes it resonates only in the form of me telling people on nights out that my name is Blair (Which I will admit, sometimes this is a sober thought).  Other time's I conduct a whole back story about how I lived in New York and how my father left my mother for a 31 year old model, a male model!  Back in the day I would frequently gather an audience, 2 vodka cranberry's into the night, and put on a performance of a lifetime to one of Taylor Swifts many smash hit singles.  Although sometimes I would do this for no reason other than I am partial to a little bit of spotlight and attention. From time to time, back in the day I would perform in order to prove to this audience that I was in fact the on and only Pennsylvania born and raised, guitar strumming songstress.  Much like the cat thing I would also tell people a whole bunch of fun facts about Tay myself and inform them of all the struggles I endured on my journey to becoming a musical sensation!

3. I also have a tendency to do a little exaggeration from time to time after a night out on the town.  For example I may or may not have told L that I was so hungry that if she didn't buy me a chicken burger I was going to die from starvation!  I also may have told her I had broken my toe or else along those lines... In reality it was a tiny cut.

My life in a meme

4.  I have also told a countless amount of people while I'm drunk that I've met Lorde and that she is far sillier in real life than you'd first imagine... I can't honestly say that this ever crossed my mind while sober.  In fact I think I've grown to have a greater appreciation for Lorde now because of the amount of times I told people I loved her when I was drunk when in reality back then I had no opinion of her.

5. And finally I've told so many people that I study film and media when I've been drinking... fun fact: I don't study film and media.

So to summaries.  Either because I am a sober compulsive liar or for some totally different reason I can honestly say that I do not believe you should think of anything that drunken people say to you as their sober thoughts.