Things I'm Lovin' Right Now

Heyyyyyaaaaa.  So I'm back, I'm blogging and I'm boogieing.  I thought I would talk about some of the things that I am loving right now, and let me tell you this:  there are an infinite amount of things that this gal loves but only a few lucky contenders will be making it onto the list.  

Netflix addiction summed up in 1 gif

1. With the weather already turning to a dismal mess and university due dates looming closer and closer I have found myself becoming increasingly distracted with, arguably, the number one thing that I am loving right now:  Netflix and chill lol jk nobody loves me.  There is a drastic difference between being in a committed relationship with your Netflix account and having an actual obsessed, crazy, addiction.  It will probably come as no surprise to hear that my current relationship with my Netflix is the latter and as of late I have found myself viewing TV late into the night and then rolling over first thing in the morning and starting all over again.  I have all of the symptoms of addiction and after doing some extensive research on Lookatyourdrinking.com (lol what dissertation?) I have come to realize that by substituting the word drink with Netflix every now and then the webpage could have been written about me:

1. Tolerance - You're able to drink binge watch episodes more and more, and you need more to get the same effect.
2. You drink watch more episodes for longer than you planned to (loss of control)
3. More and more of your time is taken up by drinking watching Netflix and recovering from drinking watching Netflix.
4. You have fewer or no more social contacts life and you work and enjoy leisure activities less or not at all due to drinking watching Netflix

I promised myself after my last relapse (the great Orange Is The New Black addiction of 2014, closely following the infamous Gossip Girl addiction of the same year) that I would never let myself get this way again.  I carefully distanced myself from Netflix for a while, I went outside and breathed in the fresh air and reminded myself of what it meant to be alive.  I watched Grey's Anatomy and How I Met Your Mother while carefully alternating between shows just as I started to care about one of them and it worked like magic for a while until

When the obsession hits hard

one day I began the next episode of How I Met Your Mother and then BOOM!! just like that it hit me... I cared! It all happened so quickly and took me by such surprise because I am usually so emotionless, dark and twisty (shout out to Meredith Grey) and uncaring.  But I could not deny it and before I knew it I cared so much.  And so I have baracaded myself in my room and binged just about 3 seasons of HIMYM (that's how the cool kids type it) in little more than 2 weeks.  It's not my fault that I care more about those fun friends than my dissertation, maybe if my dissertation was abundant in fun catch phrases, running jokes, Canadian teen pop sensations and adorkably adorable guys then I would have made more progress but as it stands just now How I Met Your Mother sits at the top of my list of things I want to do with my day and my dissertation sits around 3 from the bottom - beating out only punching Taylor Swift in the face (I WOULD NEVER!) and killing myself.  

Anyway, the positives from this situ are that I have been able to compile a list of ways to make my life more like a sitcom and I have found a fun Halloween costume for 2015 - Robin Sparkles, eh!

Stepping into Halloween 2015 like "Lets go to the mall, eh!"

bagels.  I cannot stop eating bagels.

2. So one day I woke up and realized that a part of my soul had died.  I came to this conclusion after I realized that I just wasn't feeling my homemade soup anymore (what the fuck right!?).  I just wasn't all about that soup life anymore and it was because I had found a new love.  As one door closes another opens and in this case it was a big ole bag of bagels behind the new door.  I don't know when I decided bagels were the new hip, fun and cool lunch in town but I fell hard for the bagels and after stealing a couple from the old flatmates I finally made my first ever bagel purchase today.  Perhaps I became such a bagel enthusiast when I decided to change my personality.  I decided I needed guidelines for how I was going to live out my life as a newly independent, unemotional  and (as always) dark and twisty muthafucka.  I drew a spider diagram split into 6 sections: 

1. Personality traits to keep (Including fun, funky, popular, cool, scheming)
2. Personality traits to ditch (Including needy, codependent, caring too much about certain things)
3. Things to do (including buying a fun hat, blog more, accept that I can be alone, take a break from making soup, write a song...)
4. Things to don't (including let people see you cry, seek out the company of others 24/7, ask for help writing your song)
5. Potential new catch phrases (including "Oh calamity!" "Look at the Haim!" "Is that the Haim already?"
6. Potential new interests ( Including Bagels, baking, tennis, grave robbing, poetry and the ducks... like feed them more and talk about them and stuff)

dark and twisty, dark and cloudy, and the namesake of Tays first cat!

I just love cats.

I decided I would channel some of my favourite female protaganists:

• Alice from Alice In Wonderland (what a curious little devil and she owned a cat)
• Hermione Granger (Get all studious and stuff, so far this hasn't worked.  Also she owned a cat)
• Robin Sherbatsky (Spend more time focusing on my career and myself and being more IDGAF, eh! She owned a dog but still)
• Blair Waldorf (Every day I ask myself: what would Blair Waldorf do?  Be the best thats what she would do! Had a cat in the books)
• Meredith Grey (Dark and twists init! Namesake of Tays cat)
• Holly Golightly (she had a cat and shit and if there is one thing I love in this world it is cats!!!  I love cats so much.  I could talk about cats all day.  I.  Love.  Cats!)

So to sum up... the point is I love bagels now

3. Music is like food for the soul (Queen G., 2015. youcancallmequeeng.blogspot.co.uk [Online]).  

rocking it

The only thing better than music is free music!  So recently I have been lovin' Spotify and all my new fun playlists: Shirley Bushy, Snoop Zebra, Fourth Year Get Psyched Mix... the list goes on but I shall not!).  Anyhoo, I have been thoroughly enjoying Saint Motel - My Type is especially #relatable ("You know you're just my type, you got a pulse and you are breathing" I feel ya, I love boys, I am so alone).  I've been enjoying a bit of Frank Sinatra also, what a guy!

It's hella fun browsing the different mood sections and coming across songs that I had forgotten existed, especially ones that make me feel nostalgic and shit.  If I had to give a song recommendation it would have to be Magnets by Lorde though, I have repeated myself until I'm blue in the face but I'll say it again: Lorde is far sillier than you would first imagine!  One day I would like to commit my day, and maybe even my life, to our Lorde and saviour and have her teach me the ways of a New Zealand teen pop sensation.  Perhaps one day I can meet all of the teen pop sensations of the world and start a band.  They can sing the theme tune for my new TV show I would like to produce: Wine Moms who all look similar and solve crimes together (starring Olivia Benson, Fiona Bruce, Eleanor Waldorf and Veronica Hastings and guest starring L's mum Cazzz because although she doesn't look like them she gives of just the right cool, calm, collected and terrifying vibe as the other ladies.)

dem moves

I no longer know where I am going with this blog post or my life so I'm going to say a sorrowful "goodbye" and an enthusiastic "I'll see you soon" because that's it from this very unfocused blog post.

The moral of the story is that at the mall having fun is what it's all aboot.

Until next time

xoxo,

Queen G!

5 Times My Drunken Words Were Not Sober Thoughts

So there is a saying floating around that seems to be fairly regularly seen to be accurate and true.  This saying is "Drunken words are sober thoughts" or one of the various forms of this saying.  However as a 20 year old girl who does occasionally over indulge in alcoholic beverages I can honestly say that I have regularly not found that to be true.  Maybe that's because I am a full time truth exaggerator at the best of times but regardless, here are 5 times when I personally have found the above saying to be lies and slander.

I do love cats though.

1. Okay so the first time I ever got drunk it hit me like a thousand knifes stabbing me all over my body, I couldn't breathe, couldn't think.  At least, not about anything except how incredibly happy, free confused and lonely I felt.  However, during this night I also tried to tell everyone who would listen, with a fair amount of conviction, that I was and had always been a cat.  Now I may repeatedly fill my head with a whole lot of nonsense every day but I am 98% sure that sober G does not think she is a cat.  


2. I struggle to remember the last time I went on a night out as G.  As soon as the drinks start flowing the spirit of Blair Waldorf emerges from my soul.  Sometimes it resonates only in the form of me telling people on nights out that my name is Blair (Which I will admit, sometimes this is a sober thought).  Other time's I conduct a whole back story about how I lived in New York and how my father left my mother for a 31 year old model, a male model!  Back in the day I would frequently gather an audience, 2 vodka cranberry's into the night, and put on a performance of a lifetime to one of Taylor Swifts many smash hit singles.  Although sometimes I would do this for no reason other than I am partial to a little bit of spotlight and attention. From time to time, back in the day I would perform in order to prove to this audience that I was in fact the on and only Pennsylvania born and raised, guitar strumming songstress.  Much like the cat thing I would also tell people a whole bunch of fun facts about Tay myself and inform them of all the struggles I endured on my journey to becoming a musical sensation!

3. I also have a tendency to do a little exaggeration from time to time after a night out on the town.  For example I may or may not have told L that I was so hungry that if she didn't buy me a chicken burger I was going to die from starvation!  I also may have told her I had broken my toe or else along those lines... In reality it was a tiny cut.

My life in a meme

4.  I have also told a countless amount of people while I'm drunk that I've met Lorde and that she is far sillier in real life than you'd first imagine... I can't honestly say that this ever crossed my mind while sober.  In fact I think I've grown to have a greater appreciation for Lorde now because of the amount of times I told people I loved her when I was drunk when in reality back then I had no opinion of her.

5. And finally I've told so many people that I study film and media when I've been drinking... fun fact: I don't study film and media.

So to summaries.  Either because I am a sober compulsive liar or for some totally different reason I can honestly say that I do not believe you should think of anything that drunken people say to you as their sober thoughts.

An Open Letter To Joyce

Dear Joyce (our humble flat mouse),

I am writing this letter today to inform you of all the things I wanted to tell you that I never did.  If I could go back and tell you while you were still here I would.  But I cant.  Firstly you may be wondering why after your little mouse body was found underneath the sofa pillow last night we thought it would be appropriate to then give you a name.  Let me explain.  The day before we found you, B and I watched a documentary on Netflix about a woman named Joyce who's body was found in her flat 3 years after she died... the next day we found you, approx 2 weeks after your demise.  Therefore, we thought it would be logical to name you after someone who had been in the same predicament as you.  After all I didn't want to name you while you were alive because we just sort of took up by the river one day, we didn't belong to each other: You were an independent, and so was I. 

Karen Brockman knows best

You sort of just pushed your way into my life one day and I felt like you took me for granted!  On my birthday you only got me 36 presents, 36!? But last year.  Last year I had 37!  You never contributed anything to your upkeep, you never paid a penny towards rent, nor did you offer to cover the cost of your meals and at the end of the day you didn't even seem grateful for the life I was providing you with. All I wanted was a little peace and quiet, at least while I was trying to study, eat and sleep.

However, discovering your body the other day put everything in perspective.  I was shaken to my very core.  When I lifted that pillow and knew you'd been there the whole time, right under my favourite sitting spot, I mean I wasn't expecting that (biggest plot twist since finding out that Fiona had been an ogre all along!).   But I guess nobody expects to find a dead mouse, freshly flattened, right where they had just parked their behind. 

I want you to know that I just wasn't happy anymore and I hadn't been for a while!  I thought I was making myself clear the night you came scurrying home at a ridiculous hour pleading maddeningly "G, G... G, if you go, where shall I go? What shall I do?" and I retorted with "Frankly, my mouse, I don't give a damn".  I can't help but wonder why you didn't stay away and if things would have worked out differently if you had - I know they would have!  Then you returned and I just thought that you were a sad, strange little mouse and you had my pity but then you got possessive!  When you snuck into my room at night and told me to choose between Ed and you and I told you I'd rather be Ed's whore than your wife then I spat in your face and yet you refused to leave - I'll admit I was a little frightened, I may have screamed like just once when I saw you that night!

Because you're worth it, amen and out 

After that I knew you had to go, I called in the cat's because I needed to send a message.  I had heard rumours on the grapevine that they were dangerous and that they had a very particular set of skills, skills they had acquired over a very long career.  Skills that made them a nightmare for mice like you.  I guess what I had heard was right.  I can't honestly say that I'm sad that you're gone.  What I am sad about is the fact that you had to die. You died on a Saturday morning(unconfirmed).  And I had you placed here under our tree.  And I had that house of your father's bulldozed to the ground.  Momma always said that life was a part of death... I sure wish it wasn't.  

However, now that we've found you and sent you off to a better place I don't just feel basted in relief, I feel marinaded in it

Yours sincerely,
Queen G (and her cohorts)

My March Highlights In Pictures

Here are some picture highlights of my March (starting from the top left)

1. B and I (keeping up with tradition) went to feed the ducks regularly this month because we are not complete monsters, we wont deny the ducks their dinner!  Also it was exam month and the ducks do soothe me so ultimately the ducks featured greatly in my March!
2. We also began taking regular walks. During one of our strolls B climbed, and briefly got stuck, up a tree.  Her failed attempt to be a little bit more Katniss Everdeen made me laugh a lot and it is these random impulsive acts that keep out walks fun and interesting.
3. We went mouse hunting in the flat, we thought of many elaborate schemes but in the end rather than seeing any of them through we went to Nandos instead.  It was at Nandos we decided to enlist the help of Nacho and Harvey my cats however they have a whole post dedicated to their visit so I'll move on 
4. I went home this month to visit my family and pets, I watched movies, ate real people food and hugged my dog like I've never hugged him before. And regarding Riley, I've never spoken of him until now.  Not to anyone.  Not even your grandfather! A woman's heart is a deep ocean of secrets.  But now you know there was a dog named Riley and that he saved me in every way a person can be saved.
5. I had my last university lectures of third year in March also.  We had a lot of fun snacks including chocolate name tags.  
6. And as I mentioned, it was exam week in march so there was a whole lot of studying going on!  That was not fun but being able to share the studying misery with my friends made it a little more tolerable!
7. And as most of you know, there was an eclipse this month - again a whole blog post was dedicated to it but to summarise I woke up at 6.30am still drunk and got to my eclipse viewing location with B at around 8am which was an hour too early.  B and I made our way home but ran into S and J on the way and decided to watch the eclipse with them and to be honest I should have stayed in bed.  The whole thing happened behind clouds and it was not at all like the 1999 Recess eclipse episode suggested it would be.  However it was nice to share this experience with J because she moved out this month, I felt like Troy when Gabriela was leaving to go her own way.
8. L and I went for a B and S night out on the town for the first time in forever, there was magic and fun and unfortunately I was noticed by someone.  However, it all worked out in the end.  We sang, we danced, we ate pizza... all good things, all good things!  And then when we got home we proceeded to cook up a storm in the kitchen - considering we didnt actually turn the oven on it wasn't exactly cooking up a storm.  And the next day we basked in the wonderful feeling of having no exams and we ordered domino's.  The best domino's I've ever had!
9. Finally, the chalk board is still going strong!  Fun messages for one and all, this week it has featured a fun saying we devised in the flat - *everyone puts their hands in, "Never forget the toppings on your pizza!" *state your favourite pizza toppings while raising your hand up into the hair.  This saying may have been slightly inspired by the Taylor Swift and co. saying "never forget the essence of your spark" #NoShade

So there you have it.  Exams, alcohol, and an enchanted forest, abundant in squirrels and cute little duckies (that ones especially for you B) And most notably the departure of one of our favourite friends J - shine on J, shine on!

Until next time

xoxo

Queen G

Oh and happy April fools day! May the odds be ever in your favour, they certainly aren't in L's!

Guess Who's Back? (Here's A Hint, It's Everyone's Favourite Insulin User)

Harvey

So as you may recall I not so long ago blogged about Harvey my diabetic cat... (If not check it out here http://youcancallmequeeng.blogspot.co.uk/2015/03/pretty-kitty-walkin-down-street.html ) Well let me tell you this he can now add professional mouse hunter to his resume after he so kindly lent his services to 1 very desperate queen and her 4 very desperate cohorts.  It started like this... Many moons ago myself and my friends grabbed our red paint and headed out on the town, paint brush in hand!  The world was our oyster and we were feeling happy, free, confused and lonely at the same time - and wow is that a lot of emotions to feel at once! At the end of the night we hailed a cab and traveled smoothly at a moderate/economic speed until I was overwhelmed by the most beautiful sight I ever did see - The golden arches!!  We cruised through the drive-thru much to the annoyance of the most impatient taxi driver I've ever met and 4 medium meals, 2 black currant fruit shoots, a milkshake and 1 tea later we were on our way back home - being extra careful not to spill our unopened fruit shoots in the back of the taxi of course. 

My favourite view

This is when the relevant part of the story starts!  So we were sitting minding out own business in the hall happily devouring out Mcdonalds when suddenly a mouse came running under our front door, over L's leg and into my bedroom!  "keep your filthy paws of her silky drawers!" I exclaimed at the mouse confidently - everyone else screamed and cried a thousand tears but of course I, the dark knight, was unshaken by the whole thing.  The mouse ran out of my room and disappeared into the night however over the next few weeks the little rodent refused to leave, and so what would any rational 33% emotionally stable (according to Buzzfeed) girl do?  Call in the big guns of course! And so it was decreed, that each year the 12 destricts of Panem shall offer up in tribute one young man and woman, between the ages of 12 and 18, to be trained in the art of survival, and to be prepared to fight to the death that Nacho and Harvey would be coming to live in the Penthouse for a week!

#RelaxationGoals

The 2 small domesticated carnivorous mammals with soft fun, short snouts and retractile claws arrived, Harvey taking the move in stride, Nacho looking vaguely on the brink of a heart attack.  The girls offered their salutations to their 4 pawed heroes and they let the mouse hunting begin.  
Over the course of the week there was a lot of snuggling with the cats, cleaning up behind Nacho (because he's a a full time inconsistent litter tray user) and precisely 0 mice were caught.  

The week was not wasted of course!  The cat's proved that there's no therapy quite like pet therapy during exam time and the time that Nacho and I spent together greatly improved our relationship (So much so that I no longer felt like I had to tie my heart strings off from him). Also not one mouse has been seen nor herd since our feline friends came to stay! The cats are coming back to visit next week and we are all relaxed and excited and ready to party with the best of them!

Never known a love like this

Snuggle time

 And before you ask if there's a moral to this story, of course there is!
The moral of the story is sometimes in a sea of mice you're going to need bigger boat

*Update at 18.30 precisely1 mouse was caught in the flat as we just discovered!*
  xoxo
Queen G

Pretty Kitty, Walkin Down The Street.

Once upon a time all that Queen G wanted was a cat, this of course was a long time before she knew about the poor sea world whales otherwise she would have wanted to save them more... maybe.  Anyway, G longed for a cat with all of her heart and then one day her wish was granted when Harvey the cat came into her life.  Overwhelmed with love she bounded towards the little ball of fluff ready to show him how much she loved him already.  It quickly became clear however that Harvey did not have some cats easy grace with strangers, he didn't make G feel like she'd known him forever even though they'd only just met.  When he purred she didn't smile just at the coquettish sound of it.  As G reached out to pet him for the first time he pounced and attacked her in every way a person can be attacked.  G was hospitalized for 3 days and she was left feeling heartbroken.   

He is too perfect I cant even

A cheeky chappy

This is Harvey

Skip forward a few years.

Nacho the kitten came into G's life and this time she was sure she'd found her kitty soul mate.  Fun fact: Nacho also attacked G when they first met which makes us wonder if maybe G was a little too hands on with the new cats in her life.  Nacho was new and cute and G soon forgot about Harvey.  Harvey slowly got fatter and fatter, probably as a way of crying out for attention.

Nacho when he was a kitten.  

Skip forward a few more years.

Nacho started going through his moody stage, he was at that age when cats think they are just too cool to be seen with their mothers.  Harvey began showing an interest in being part of G's family and he regularly sought out her lap to sleep on.  G slowly developed a new appreciation for Harvey just in time to discover that he was diabetic.  Harvey now needed 2 insulin injections a day and he lost a lot of his fat which actually made him look astoundingly handsome, it wouldn't be an exaggeration to say the most handsome cat G had ever seen!  In no time at all G and Harvey fell in love and the mere though of Harvey brought a tear to G's eyes - he was just so cute and fluffy and cuddly. G couldn't even put into words how much she loves this cat, it's a love like no other and some would even call it the love story of the century. Fun Fact:  Harvey also liked to stick his tongue out and who doesn't love a goofy looking animal!?  

Chillin like a villain 

Hanging with Harvey

All I want for Christmas is you

The moral of the story is that sometimes diabetes really does bring out the best in people, and cats.  

Famous diabetics:

• Elizabeth Taylor
• Charlotte the lifeguard 
• Nick Jonas
• Harvey the cat
• Tom Hanks