I DIED DEAD. RIP ME.

Hello children, I'm back with the wonderful and highly anticipated story of my 1989 World Tour experience!  

British Summertime Festival 2015

On Thursday June 25th my little sister came through to Edinburgh and we each got desperately needed hair cuts, we then proceed to browse the shops and wander the streets of Edinburgh in the torrential rain which lead to me contracting the great flu epidemic of 2015.  After opting out of attending an evening showing of Jurassic World in exchange for a Domino's pizza in bed, I packed my bags and then attempted to be the quiz master for one of our (sometimes weekly, sometimes daily, sometimes hourly) flat quizzes.  Tensions ran high when B went off on one of her classic ADHD episodes, L (over Skype) failed to commit fully to the quiz, S didn't participate at all and I desperately tried to hold the whole thing together for the sake of J who was departing from the flat forever after that night.  Anyway, B won the quiz and then it was finally time for bed.  I didn't sleep a wink that night.  My alarm was set for 7.30am but I had given up on sleep completely long before then and so as soon as I heard my sister get up at 7am I got up too.  We did a final check that we had everything we needed, attempted to have some toast but I was too excited to eat and then I said an emotional goodbye to B.  We made a food stop at Marks and Spencer's and then boarded the train to begin our adventure.  The train ride consisted of us wasting our 3G, story sharing, listening to our Ipods and snacking.  

GG

When we arrived in King's Cross our first stop was the bathroom, our second stop was platform 9 and 3 quarters.  We said nah to the photo op at the platform because the line was too long and our bags were heavy so we went to the gift shop and made a 10/10 purchase of some Harry Potter top trumph cards.  We sorted out our Oyster Cards and then got the underground to our hotel.  Fun fact: our hotel was one street away from Nandos and yet we never did eat there which is weird and kind of sad #cheekyNandos.  

Big Ben Yo

We got to the hotel and collected our keys, couldn't get the room door to open so we went to get help.  The man from reception got the door open easily first try and I felt like a bit of an idiot but after that minor hurdle we were ready to explore the city.  My sister (Also G so we will refer to her as younger G from here on out) needed to go to Urban Outfitters so we hopped on the underground and then walked from the stop at Big Ben to Urban, it was so sunny and warm.  Naturally after visiting Urban we were in the mood to watch Chris #Ladbod Pratt fight some dinosaurs so we went to the cinema and ordered a hella big popcorn and sprite and we watched 2 hours of straight man vs dino and dino vs dino, what more can you ask for?  Anyway after Jurassic Pratt we went to Ripley's Believe It Or Not, took one look at the price and then left with out heads held high and our bank accounts untouched.  We eventually went back to the hotel, had a few snacks, put on the music channel and played Top Trumphs. 
 In the morning I woke up early but lay in bed until 8.30am I proceeded to read my book, use the wifi and try to get younger G to wake up too.  She got out of bed around 10am and we were out of the hotel by 11.30ish.  I was starving by this point as all I had eaten since Thursday was a Hoisin Duck wrap and some snacks, when we got to Green Park we went to boots and I got another Duck wrap (#creatureofhabit) and we took our food to the park and sat in the grass soaking up the sun.  I wanted to leave by 1.30pm, 2pm at the VERY latest because entry for Hyde Park started at 3.30, we ventured down to Buckingham Palace and then at 2 we headed back to the underground.  It was at this moment that younger G informed me she needed to go to Primark.

OMG LOOK AT THAT TAY

I DIED. DED.  We raced through the streets of London passed crowds of people, some of whom were wearing TSwizzle costumes which only added to my panic.  84 years later we reached Primark and younger G grabbed some clothes, we paid and then raced to the nearest underground.  Eventually we got back to the hotel just before 4pm and I could no longer feel anything because I was for sure dead, life ended, lying on the cold hard ground.  We got ready, mood tense tensions high, outfit drama aplenty.  I wished I had taken my cat dress, younger G couldn't find anything to wear.  In the end my outfit was hella fun and we started the long walk to Hyde Park, unsure if we were even walking the right way.  We arrived at Hyde Park at 5pm, we had missed Vance Joy but all was well when we were handed glowing bracelets that were "a gift from Taylor".  After spending £40 on a fun Tshirt, programme and a presh bracelet we started the battle to get to the front of the stage.  John Newman was playing and we were tripping over all of the people who were sitting on the ground as we tried our best to get as close as possible to Tay.  Eventually we made a shocking discovery... with our general admission tickets we couldn't get anywhere near the stage so instead we had to settle for 2 rows from the front of general admission (luckily I have perfect vision #blessed so I could see the stage).  I knew at that moment that any dreams of reliving the Taylor Swift arm stroking extravaganza of 2011 were #DED but I was just so happy to be breathing the same air as Taylor.  Ellie Goulding performed and she was 10/10 as she always is.  World War Tay almost broke out after Ellie left the stage when the great push to get closer the the front began, people were shoving and there was screaming, crying and perfect storms.  It was miserable and magical and I wasn't about to give up my space for anyone!  Fun Fact:  there was also a strange lady who was handing out business cards, she was there alone and throughout the night she kept talking to these 2 12 year old girls and giving them life advice as Taylor was performing...) 

IM SO HAPPY IM GOING TO DIE

Then the first few beats of Welcome To New York played and it was at that very moment I went into a full on seizure right there on the ground in Hyde Park #RIPME1995-2015.  Taylor was wearing this amazing skirt that can only be described as #SkirtGoals and she had hella good hair.  I cannot even describe what it is like to see Taylor Swift in person.  Some words I would use to try to describe it would be magical, glitter, flawless, angel, smooth, tachycardic and #leggoals.  I've seen her super close up in Belfast but even from a distance in London it was enough to put me straight into cardiac arrest.  She performed every song from 1989 minus Wonderland.  When I activated my flashing bracelet ("a gift from Taylor") I felt powerful, I felt like I had just saved the world and made it home in time for dinner and then found out that we were having popcorn with a side of popcorn for that dinner whilst watching titanic and stroking kittens.  When Taylor walked along the catwalk part of the stage I tried to use sheer willpower to draw her closer and closer to me, when she flew up into the air like a real life unicorn princess I just stared at her and truly understood the chorus of Lovefool for the first time (so I cry, I pray and I beg LOVE ME LOVE ME SAY THAT YOU LOVE ME TAYLOR SAY IT SAY YOU LOVE ME).  Everything was perfect, every song a hit and I was the happiest girl in the whole kingdom.

Wink

AND THEN STYLE
So Taylor is all like singing Style and then next minute GiGi 'SLAY-Z' Hadid and Kendall 'Daughter of Caitlyn' Jenner come on stage and I was like is this real life, then Serena Williams came on stage and everyone was all like oh cool its the tennis lady. Then KARLIE FUCKING KLOSS and Martha 'she was in Bad Blood also' Hunt came on stage and I was like there is no way that this is real that is Karlie Kloss KARLIE KLOSS.  And then, just in case there were any survivors left she finally brought out Cara '#eyebrowgoals' Delevingne and that was the end of time, the world imploded and Taylor Swift and her squad were the only survivors.

Squad Goals

 
It was really cute during the Enchanted/Wildest Dreams mashup because when Tay went back to Enchanted the crowd continued singing Wildest Dreams and it was so celestial.
The rest of the show was hella good and then to end the show she played Shake It Off which is my all time favourite song to dance to when I'm drunk and so it had some weird alcohol effect on me and I felt wasted and everyone else in Hyde Park seemed to feel the same and it was one huge party and everyone was jumping and shaking and the best part was when everyone got so sassy and shouted out the MY EX MAN BROUGHT HIS NEW GIRL FRIEND... part and I have never experienced anything like that before!  It was honestly just the best night ever, I wish I could have gone to see it again and I will for sure be going to her next tour (Hopefully this time there wont be a huge ticket pre-sale email fail on my part and I'll be able to get tickets that allow me closer to the stage)
I'll continue to do everything in my power to meet Taylor, after Hyde Park my 7 year Taylor Swift obsession has just escalated.  I am so glad I was one of the 65K people at that show.  R. I. P. ME. 

Best night ever

The moral of the story is that Taylor's wink after she sang "his hands are in my hair, his clothes are in my room" was much cheekier than you'd first imagine!

xoxo
Queen G

Band-Aids Don't Fix Bullet Holes

With the next Taylor Swift music video ready to drop at any minute I am eagerly waiting, snacks in hand and expectations through the roof, to watch Tay slay in what is undoubtedly the most highly anticipated music video of the 21st century.  

flawless

As an avid Swifty since 2K9 (#represent) I am always keen to marinate all 5 of my senses in all of Taylor's projects - each one a masterpiece in it's own right.  However, this video more than ever has left me impatiently counting down the days until its release.  I think one of the main questions this video has managed to answer for people everywhere is: just how many 10/10 fun-loving stars can you fit into one music video?  Every single day as I refreshed my Instagram account while on my lunch break at work, or you know in one of the back rooms at work when we hit a 'quiet period' I would discover a new character had joined the bad blood crew.  I couldn't help but ponder who would be next?  I had expectations of course, these included Karli Kloss, Selena Gomez and Lorde.  And to this day I can't help but be a little disheartened about the fact that Lorde never did make it into this video.  Anyway, as the list of characters continued to grow I began to question everything from how many people this video could take, and who else might make an appearance?  Would everyone be in this video?  Would I be in this video?  It was sheer madness and I would loving every second of it!

#squadgoals

I think another thing that made this video's release so exciting was the fact that I couldn't help but speculate what my character name would be if I were to make the cut.  I mean with the way that list of characters was growing I knew that I needed to be prepared for that phone call from Tay asking me if I was free to star.  I needed to have a fun pose and character name at hand.  Luckily there was a Buzzfeed quiz available to quickly sort out one of those requirements.  A few fun questions later I discovered that my name should be Casper The Not So Friendly Ghost.  While I'll admit it doesn't exactly role of the tongue, its creative, funky fresh and unpredictable just like me so I decided it would do.  As for a fun pose, I have an endless supply of them up my sleeve.  And just like that I was ready, ready to live, ready to die, ready to receive that call from Tay, ready for an absolution that would never come.  

All I can say now is that on a scale from 0 to Scar from The Lion King I am Scar level prepared for this music video.  I can't wait to see Ellen Pompeo being #ClassicMer, I can't wait to see not 1, not 2 but 3 Hailee Steinfeld's killing it, I can't wait to see Selena back on my screen for the first time in forever, I can't wait to be mildly disappointed at the lack of Lorde... I could go on and

There she is, in the flesh.

on but I think I've made my point.  

Mainly I can't wait to see TayBae do her thing.  This video will help tide the gap between now and June when I go to see her live in concert, the last time I saw her live it was in Belfast in 2011 and I touched her shoulder (Fun fact: her skin was silky smooth, it sparkled like a thousand diamonds and she smelled of faith, trust and pixie dust).

The moral of the story is that, as the title suggests , band-aids don't fix bullet holes.  They really don't.  Trust me, if you try to fix a bullet holes with a band-aid you'll bleed out, every time.

Taylor knows...

xoxo

Queen G

(Oh and here is a completely irrelevant piece of life advice: watch Ariana Grande and Miley Cyrus's performance of Don't Dream It's Over on youtube, it's the best)

5 Times My Drunken Words Were Not Sober Thoughts

So there is a saying floating around that seems to be fairly regularly seen to be accurate and true.  This saying is "Drunken words are sober thoughts" or one of the various forms of this saying.  However as a 20 year old girl who does occasionally over indulge in alcoholic beverages I can honestly say that I have regularly not found that to be true.  Maybe that's because I am a full time truth exaggerator at the best of times but regardless, here are 5 times when I personally have found the above saying to be lies and slander.

I do love cats though.

1. Okay so the first time I ever got drunk it hit me like a thousand knifes stabbing me all over my body, I couldn't breathe, couldn't think.  At least, not about anything except how incredibly happy, free confused and lonely I felt.  However, during this night I also tried to tell everyone who would listen, with a fair amount of conviction, that I was and had always been a cat.  Now I may repeatedly fill my head with a whole lot of nonsense every day but I am 98% sure that sober G does not think she is a cat.  


2. I struggle to remember the last time I went on a night out as G.  As soon as the drinks start flowing the spirit of Blair Waldorf emerges from my soul.  Sometimes it resonates only in the form of me telling people on nights out that my name is Blair (Which I will admit, sometimes this is a sober thought).  Other time's I conduct a whole back story about how I lived in New York and how my father left my mother for a 31 year old model, a male model!  Back in the day I would frequently gather an audience, 2 vodka cranberry's into the night, and put on a performance of a lifetime to one of Taylor Swifts many smash hit singles.  Although sometimes I would do this for no reason other than I am partial to a little bit of spotlight and attention. From time to time, back in the day I would perform in order to prove to this audience that I was in fact the on and only Pennsylvania born and raised, guitar strumming songstress.  Much like the cat thing I would also tell people a whole bunch of fun facts about Tay myself and inform them of all the struggles I endured on my journey to becoming a musical sensation!

3. I also have a tendency to do a little exaggeration from time to time after a night out on the town.  For example I may or may not have told L that I was so hungry that if she didn't buy me a chicken burger I was going to die from starvation!  I also may have told her I had broken my toe or else along those lines... In reality it was a tiny cut.

My life in a meme

4.  I have also told a countless amount of people while I'm drunk that I've met Lorde and that she is far sillier in real life than you'd first imagine... I can't honestly say that this ever crossed my mind while sober.  In fact I think I've grown to have a greater appreciation for Lorde now because of the amount of times I told people I loved her when I was drunk when in reality back then I had no opinion of her.

5. And finally I've told so many people that I study film and media when I've been drinking... fun fact: I don't study film and media.

So to summaries.  Either because I am a sober compulsive liar or for some totally different reason I can honestly say that I do not believe you should think of anything that drunken people say to you as their sober thoughts.

My March Highlights In Pictures

Here are some picture highlights of my March (starting from the top left)

1. B and I (keeping up with tradition) went to feed the ducks regularly this month because we are not complete monsters, we wont deny the ducks their dinner!  Also it was exam month and the ducks do soothe me so ultimately the ducks featured greatly in my March!
2. We also began taking regular walks. During one of our strolls B climbed, and briefly got stuck, up a tree.  Her failed attempt to be a little bit more Katniss Everdeen made me laugh a lot and it is these random impulsive acts that keep out walks fun and interesting.
3. We went mouse hunting in the flat, we thought of many elaborate schemes but in the end rather than seeing any of them through we went to Nandos instead.  It was at Nandos we decided to enlist the help of Nacho and Harvey my cats however they have a whole post dedicated to their visit so I'll move on 
4. I went home this month to visit my family and pets, I watched movies, ate real people food and hugged my dog like I've never hugged him before. And regarding Riley, I've never spoken of him until now.  Not to anyone.  Not even your grandfather! A woman's heart is a deep ocean of secrets.  But now you know there was a dog named Riley and that he saved me in every way a person can be saved.
5. I had my last university lectures of third year in March also.  We had a lot of fun snacks including chocolate name tags.  
6. And as I mentioned, it was exam week in march so there was a whole lot of studying going on!  That was not fun but being able to share the studying misery with my friends made it a little more tolerable!
7. And as most of you know, there was an eclipse this month - again a whole blog post was dedicated to it but to summarise I woke up at 6.30am still drunk and got to my eclipse viewing location with B at around 8am which was an hour too early.  B and I made our way home but ran into S and J on the way and decided to watch the eclipse with them and to be honest I should have stayed in bed.  The whole thing happened behind clouds and it was not at all like the 1999 Recess eclipse episode suggested it would be.  However it was nice to share this experience with J because she moved out this month, I felt like Troy when Gabriela was leaving to go her own way.
8. L and I went for a B and S night out on the town for the first time in forever, there was magic and fun and unfortunately I was noticed by someone.  However, it all worked out in the end.  We sang, we danced, we ate pizza... all good things, all good things!  And then when we got home we proceeded to cook up a storm in the kitchen - considering we didnt actually turn the oven on it wasn't exactly cooking up a storm.  And the next day we basked in the wonderful feeling of having no exams and we ordered domino's.  The best domino's I've ever had!
9. Finally, the chalk board is still going strong!  Fun messages for one and all, this week it has featured a fun saying we devised in the flat - *everyone puts their hands in, "Never forget the toppings on your pizza!" *state your favourite pizza toppings while raising your hand up into the hair.  This saying may have been slightly inspired by the Taylor Swift and co. saying "never forget the essence of your spark" #NoShade

So there you have it.  Exams, alcohol, and an enchanted forest, abundant in squirrels and cute little duckies (that ones especially for you B) And most notably the departure of one of our favourite friends J - shine on J, shine on!

Until next time

xoxo

Queen G

Oh and happy April fools day! May the odds be ever in your favour, they certainly aren't in L's!

The Random Fact Tag

We here at TheLifeOfFry asked Queen G 20 fun questions about herself. Here's what she had to say...

1. Your favourite Halloween costume?
Last year I dressed up as a mermaid and that was a lot of fun, almost as much fun as it was meeting Ariel at Disneyland during the summer!  #Apartofyourworld
 

I've got gizmos and gadgets aplenty.

2. What's the last film you watched?
The last film I watched was Gone Girl but I'd already seen it before in the cinema, the last new film I watched at the cinema was 50 Shades of Grey and the last film I watched on DVD was The Shining. #Filmaddict 

3. How did you spend this valentines day this year?
Do you mean Galentines day?  My best friend B and I went on a wondrous adventure of the city, B even bought me a rose.  Then then we bought a Chicken named Chuck for the third member of our trio - L. 

Leslie always Knopes whats up

4. Have you ever thought about what you would name your children?
Yes, yes I have!  Ive probably spent a little too much time thinking about it to be honest. Here are some of my fave girls and boys names.
Girls - Piper, Paige, Elena, Hollie, Blair, Aria. 
Boys - Nate, Christian and Sam

5. What song do you secretly love to blast?
Probably 2008 Miley Cyrus (See You Again is a personal favourite) 

6. What is a weird dream you've had?
Well I have probably had some of the weirdest dreams known to man.  One time I dreamt that I had to go to an institution to get a head transplant, another time I had a dream that I was in The Hunger Games and there was a volcano that erupted poisoned apples.  I also had a dream that I was being chased by a shark but the chase quickly stopped when I decided to offer the shark some Nachos, I awoke quickly when I realised it was a dream because the Nachos weren't soggy. 

7. Favourite Harry Potter book and movie?
The Prisoner of Azkaban was for sure my fave Harry Potter book, movie wise I am a little less certain.  The Goblet of Fire was a lot of fun as was The Deathly Hallows Part 1 however Azkaban holds a special place in my heart.

8. Who is your celebrity crush?
Ed Westwick - I love him so much I can't even #Cantbreathe #AllaboutthatBass

3 words, 8 letters.

It's chuck and a duck, has there ever been a more perfect picture?  I don't think so.

9. What is your go to perfume?
Taylor Swift Wonderstruck #Smellsofhopegloryandtriumph #AnythingtobealittlemoreTay

10. What is your favourite cereal?
Honey nut cheerios 

11. What is your favourite cuisine?
Mexican.  Fun Fact: I am not a fan of Queso despite what my friend B will tell you.

12. What is your favourite emoji and your most used emoji?
Fave emoji - moonface, dancing duo and sassypants girl
Most used - face that's laughing so much its crying 

13. If you had to go get a tattoo right now what would it be of?
A portrait of my cat Harvey because yolo.  But for reals I would probably get some kind of cat tattoo because I'm about that life.

14. Your catchphrase?
"It was a lot of fun" and "Yus Hilary"

15. Your favourite holiday you've been on?
I went on an adventure to Australia and that was a lot of fun! I swam with dolphins and rode a horse and ate a whole lot of BBQ.  Fun Fact: I ate some Kangaroo.  I also went to America for a summer and taught at a summer camp and I loved it #bestsummerever #MadeANewBestFriend #ThingOneAndThingTwo

Snorkeling with dolphins

#prosurfer

#Horsecamp

16. What are you reading at the moment?
Sharp Objects by Gillian Flynn - it's no Gone Girl but it is a compelling read nonetheless.

17. What occupation did you want to have when you were a kid?
Dolphin trainer yo. 

18. What is your shoe size?
UK 4 #petitebutperfectlyadequate 

19. How many piercings have you got?
I have my ears pierced, cartilage pierced and my belly button.  Fun fact:  I almost died when I got my belly button pierced because it hurt so much and I cried for 30 days and 30 nights.

20. Share your top 3 favourite pictures from your life?

G and C in Chicago, love that city!

This is an actual picture of G touching TayBae #DreamsDoComeTrue

G and her cohorts aka best friend and living acquaintances.

I tag Beth-Oh-La to answer this, and anyone else who wants to have a go!

10 Reasons Why Popcorn Is Your Best Friend

I think it's about time I share one of Queen G's many passions with you.  We hear that Queen G has a special place in her heart for a light, fluffy snack - Popcorn.  Popcorn is delicious and never fails to satisfy.  Fun Fact: G's favourite flavour of popcorn is Salted microwavable popcorn.

Here are 10 reasons why popcorn is your best friend:

1. It listens to all your problems without interrupting or judging you.
2. It's a fast, it only takes roughly 3 minutes in the microwave.
3. It likes all the same TV shows and movies as you.
4. Compared to other snacks popcorn is relatively good for you which means you can eat a lot more of it before you get heart disease than you can with other snacks. 
5. Also it takes ages for popcorn to fill you up so even when you're full you always have space for popcorn.
6. The owners of Sea World hate popcorn so if you don't like popcorn then you basically support Sea World and all of the terrible things they do to the poor whales.
7. Taylor Swift probably likes popcorn so technically every time you eat it you become a little more TayBae
8. Almost 200 people die a year from choking on popcorn which makes it one of the top 5 most dangerous snacks so eating popcorn makes you super bad ass.
9. Plus if you are eating lots of popcorn it means there is less popcorn in the world for other people to choke on so it also makes you really selfless!
10. Unlike with chocolate, dogs can eat popcorn - within moderation, I mean I wouldn't pop a whole bag for them but a couple of pieces here and there is fine - so its a fun snack you can share with your dog when you are cuddling with them on a Saturday night, watching the notebook and crying about how you're going to be alone forever.

This list of reasons why popcorn is a lot of fun goes on but I shall not.  Suffice it to say that you should definitely get some more popcorn in your life right now, literally now.  Put on your walking shoes, take the the streets in the general direction of your nearest supermarket with like £3 in your pocket and get some popcorn in your life.  Macklemore said he only had $20 in his pocket so he went to the thrift shop but we reckon he would have been left feeling far more satisfied if he had went to Sainsbos and spent that $20 on popcorn.  He was happy poppin tags but G would rather pop some corn.

He should have popped some corn instead.

I'm feeling 20 too, and it's a lot of fun!

Saturday February 21st 2015

Queen G woke rather groggily at approximately 08.30 to a small flurry of Facebook messages.This could mean only one thing, it was her birthday!!  It was a moment she had been waiting for for a long time, she was now able to sing 20 too (which is a song rather similar to 22 by Taylor Swift except the word two has been changed to too, wow that was a lot of two/to/too's for one sentence).  Queen G was officially no longer a teenager, and do you know how it made her feel? Hungry! G and L emigrated to the kitchen and they filled themselves up with cereal - fun fact G's favourite cereal is honey cheerios.  G then opened her cards and before she knew it she was rollin in the dolla! She had made a whole £35 alongside a £15 Primark voucher - wowwee.  L then headed out on a conquest uptown and G proceeded to clean her room.  Before long S and B had also awoken and they both gave G a warm and welcoming birthday hug which G loved because she lived for hugs.  G and B began to tidy the apartment in anticipation for the upcoming soiree.The tidying was, in the words of 7 year old Taylor Momsen, a lot of fun!! Before they knew it the apartment was glowing and gleaming and the floor was clean enough to eat off of.  J and L returned to the flat and guess what time it was? Presents time!! 

When your pillow case just gets you

A poster of quotes that sum me up

A service bell fit for a queen

Queen G was royally spoiled by her best friend, comrades in arms and side hos, she was simply overwhelmed with gratitude.

Next the 4 girls participated in a heated game of moods which is a board game which is a lot of fun!! Almost as much fun as when you get fake eyelashes because you haven't grown into your nose yet! The winner was undetermined because the game was cut short due to an impromptu visit from a surprised guest - a guest who was visiting forever!!

This is love

Chuck and Blair

Oh my, could it really be? 

Yes that is correct G's true love Ed Westwick turned up for what? for G, and he agreed to move in forever!! G briefly passed out like a southern belle from an old film but she was awoken by smelling salts and was then able to continue her day as chirpy as ever!  It was a good thing she felt better too because it was then revealed that G's fun friends had bought multiple types of delicious cupcakes for her birthday and everyone chose their favourite flavour of cake - fun fact G chose the red velvet cake!

The girls then made their merry way to the store to pick up last minute party supplies but that is another story for another day.

Until next time,

xoxo Queen G