My Unpopular Opinions: A Blog Post Idea Stolen From Beth-Oh-La

Good evening ladies and gentlemen.

As all of the big fans of this blog will be aware I have been all quiet on the blogger front for an extremely long period of time, however, with university well and truly over and having a fair amount of free time on my hands I am (hopefully) back and blogging it up.

Having taken some time off I found myself both overwhelmed with the sheer number of potential subjects I could blog about yet also struggling to settle on anything.  When I find myself in times of trouble plagiarism comes to me, singing words of wisdom, steal Beth's idea*.  And so it was through one of my nearest and dearest's blog's that I finally decided that the best way to reintroduce myself into the world of blogging would be a quick and simple post listening some of my unpopular ideas...  

Without further ado here they are:

1. Piper Chapman (from Orange Is The New Black) is not a terrible person/character and happens to be one of my favourite characters on the show.

2. In this whole Taylor/Kanye/Kim/Calvin/Katy/etc drama I'm totally on team Taylor - and just generally I like Taylor Swift as a musician and person.

3. Soy milk tastes better than cow's milk.

4. The How I Met Your Mother finale wasn't terrible.

5. Ranch goes well with pretty much everything..

6. Mac and cheese is disgusting (as is pretty much anything with cheese sauce on it #devilsauce).

7. Season 4 of Community was one of the best seasons.

8. Coke/diet coke/all similar coke products are horrible.

9. Adele and Beyonce are (unquestionably talented) but very overrated.

10. Ross Geller was the best character from Friends.

11. Hashtags are amazing.  You can never have enough.  You should also definitely talk in hashtags in normal face-to-face conversations. #Hellafun

12. 'Dad bods' are better than 'lad bods'.

13.  Less isn't more.  More is more.

14. Sketchers is probably the best brand of shoe #comfortgoals #memoryfoam

15. Taking pics/vids of every situation is often better than 'living in the moment' #picsoritdidnthappen

So there you have it, a list of my uncontroversial and pretty uninteresting unpopular opinions... 

Until next time
xoxo

*Link to Beth's blog post: https://bethohla.blogspot.co.uk/2016/06/my-unpopular-opinions_27.html?showComment=1469113032140#c2376670545972061915

Newcastle: The Incredible Journey

Heyyyooo peeps of the blogisphere, so as explained in my previous post I recently journeyed below the border to Newcastle to see Ellie Goulding live.  This post is dedicated to all of the non Ellie parts of that journey.  
Tuesday March 15th
B and I head to Waverly train station in the morning, running late as per, and head to boots to grab the essentials:

• Shampoo
• Conditioner
• Body Wash
• Chewing Gum



Oot on the toon 

• Diet Soda

After making these purchases we boarded the train, located our seats and settled in for the journey ahead of us.  Excitement was running high as we text our mothers confirming we were on our way and updated our snapchats in order to make everyone jealous of our trip (if you don't plaster everything you do all over social media did you really do it?).  During the first part of our journey a lady came through the cabin with a trolley of snacks and I can confirm that I had to all but rip my voice box from my throat to stop myself from telling her that "we'll take the lot".  During our train journey we passed many wonderful British landmarks such as:

1. Field of cows number 1
2. The ocean
3. North Berwick 
4. Field of cows number 2
5. Field of horses
6. Trees

After we were finally able to turn our eyes from these amazing landmarks B and I turned our attention to Harry Potter Top Trumphs (purchases at the platform 9 3/4 shop in King's Cross Station I'll have you know).  Rather than play the game the conventional way B and I made up our own rules #HipstersInnit and this kept us amused right up until the train pulled up to the platform in the Newcastle station.

As we stepped from the train it was like a thousand knifes stabbing us all over, we couldn't breathe, couldn't think it was so damn cold!!  I gave thanks to the great cat goddess in the sky for guiding me to bring a coat on our trip and B cried a thousand tears because she did not and we made our way through Newcastle in no particular direction, heading to an absolution that would never come.  Our first stop was the hostel to dump our bags and after a slight hiccup when neither myself of B had the £2 that was required for the receptionist to keep our bags behind the desk until our room was available B and I finally sold our souls for this service and we were on our merry way once again.  

This was it B and I taking 'the big city' one step at a time turning tricks and fucking shit up.  As if floating on a breeze B and I happened upon our first destination:

Fenwick and the great mall of Newcastle: once you enter you never leave.

That's what I thought of B's company

The rain had stared and the temperature has plummeted and so we took our exploring indoors to a department store called Fenwick.  We initially explored the gift department and set ourselves the mission of buy one another a fun gift/activity for £5 or less, once this crazy mission had been completed we took to the escalators as the escalators lifted us up into a whole new world B remarked very offhandedly that she liked to buy designer brand bedsheets (this is a lie) and so I naturally confirmed that I also liked to do this and that my bed sheets are home we very "Coup Du Wah".  Instantly we made an unspoken agreement that from that moment on everything in Newcastle would be Coup Du Wah, maybe everything everywhere would be Coup Du Wah but only time would tell.  

Now as far as reviewing the sights of Newcastle I have to say this: if you are in Newcastle you have to visit the Fenwick foodhall because it was amazing!  Their easter egg selection was one of the most breathtaking things I had ever seen and never in my life had I been more tempted to spend £80 on chocolate.  Somehow we managed to get from Fenwick to a massive shopping mall (Eldon Square I believe) which had a pretty impressive selection of shops, if you are after shopping then I would recommend otherwise maybe not because at the end of the day it was just a mall.  B and I chose to eat at the Garden Kitchen on the top floor of the mall and the food was really nice (possibly the best food we had during our stay, however we did visit subway which is a firm fave of ours sooo...).  After we had eaten we decided to turn our attentions to an activity that we couldn't have just done in Edinburgh, as it was already 4pm and a lot of things were shutting at 5pm we chose to visit an art gallery which was free to visit and on our way back to the hostel.

Laing Art Gallery

B and I discovered on our way to the art gallery that B had forgotten to bring her ID to Newcastle which killed our plans of going on a crazy Geordie night out (B has become increasingly obsessed with Geordie Shore and had been hoping to live the life of Charlotte Crosby for one night, I was just hoping to get drunk for the first time in forever).  Although at first this was a disappointment we bounced back pretty quickly because the really reason for the trip was to see Ellie Goulding not to go on a night out.

We arrived at the art gallery and as expected there was a lot of pretty impressive art, most of it is a blur in my memories though because I was so completely mesmerised by this on painting: it had a seat you could sit on to view it; there was a button to press; pressing said button resulted in the lights dimming, the painting lighting up and a range of sound effects.  The painting apparently depicted "The Destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah" and I dont know anything about that other than it made for a great painting.  B and I sat and watched this painting for a while then examined some other pieces of art before leaving and heading back to the hostel.  We decided that since we weren't going out we would go out for a nice meal and then buy some alcohol and have a mini party in the hostel.  We chose Jamie's Italian for Dinner

Girl date

Jamie's Italian

We were seating upstairs next to a window so there was a nice view of the streets and the youths of Newcastle getting into bother from the police.  B and I ordered Garlic bread to start with, cocktails (restaurants never ID, if you learn anything from my blog let that be the lesson) and for main I got Tortellini and B got some kind of aubergine dish.  I thoroughly enjoyed mines but B said hers was kind of meh.  We returned to the hostel for some Cosmo Fizz and salt and vinegar crisps.  We exchanged gifts, B got me facepaints and I got her a harmonica.  The night was full of tipsyness, gossip, face painting and ended in a sleepover on the top bunk.

Overall reviews from Day 1

Would recommend:

• Fenwick Foodhall
• Laing Art Gallery: The Destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah 
• Eldon Mall Garden Kitchen

 

Wednesday March 16th

B and I woke up (flawless) bright and early and hangover free.  Our activities for the day included visiting the bridges of Newcastle, doing a practice run to the Metro Radio Arena and lunch.

The Gateshead Millennium Bridge and the Tyne Bridge

Brich

The day was slightly milder and the walk was pleasant, the area leading down to the river Tyne was pretty cute and googlemaps had greatly overestimated how long it would take us to get to the bridges.  The first bridge we happened across was the Tyne bridge (although it was pretty much right beside the Millennium Bridge).  We took some pics and vids I made a terribly wrong assumption that the council building across the river was the arena.  B and I speculated over whether Ellie would take her concert to the top of the Millennium bridge and then as we turned around my eyes caught sight of something... could it be?  We crossed the road... 

Catpawcino

Cat city, cat, cat, cat city bish

I LOVE CATS. CATS. CATS. CATS. LOVE EM. Everyone one a solid 10/10.  For a long time I have been desperate to go to a cat cafe but they have either been overbooked or I simply haven't had time and so it really was fate that we found one completely by chance in Newcastle.  I am planning to write a post about cat cafes and so I wont go into too much deets right now, suffice it to say that the cats at Catpawcino were dazzling and appeared to be exteremly well cared for.  B and I turned up just as the cafe was opening and so we got the entire place to ourselves, the staff were so friendly and encouraged us to play with the cats and my hot chocolate was delish.  

After B's allergies kicked in we left the cats and went for a walk, we crossed the Millennium bridge and went to what we not knew to be the council building.  We explored the gift shops and checked out the view of Newcastle from the building and the recrossed the bridge.  B and I discovered some gym type equipment on the walkway at the side of the tyne which kept us amused and then our wandering took us to Newcastle Castle, however; due to time constrains we prioritised lunch over touring the castle.

Fat Buddha

B and I went for lunch and cocktails (as I said before restaurants never ID) at Fat Buddha, it was so nice to rest our weary feet and to review the pictures we had taken that day.  The cocktails were delicious, we both got a Fat Buddha cocktail, however; in my humble opinion the cocktails were far better than the food which I felt was just okay.  We made our way back to the hostel to prepare for seeing Ellie Goudling (full deets of the concert included in the previous post).  We also made a stop off at the Fenwick foodhall again to purchase some chocolate as our lunch hadn't really filled us and the chocolate had been on my mind since the day before, it definitely lived up to my expectations and was tres coup du wah!

Final Reviews from day 2

Would Recommend:

• Visiting the bridges of Newcastle as they are a city landmark and free to visit
• Catpawcino if you love cats and cafes, its a no-brainer really
• Walking along the Tyne
• Fat Buddah for cocktails

Overall

The best food:  Eldon Square Kitchen for B and Jamie's Italian for me

The best activity: Walking along the Tyne: you see the bridges, thats how we found that cat                               cafe and there was a lot of random fun stuff to see.

Grey skys, classic

thar she blows.

B and I are journeying to London this Thursday to see Ellie again (goodbye to all my savings).  I'll no doubt write a review of this trip and of the concert at some point (hopefully we will do slightly more in London so there is more to review) but I am working/on placement pretty nonstop over the next few weeks so who knows when this will be done.

The moral of the story is love will never be forever feelings are just like the weather, and if we are talking about Newcastle weather in the middle of March that that would mean pretty shit tbh.

Until next time

xoxo

Queen G

Things I'm Lovin' Right Now

Heyyyyyaaaaa.  So I'm back, I'm blogging and I'm boogieing.  I thought I would talk about some of the things that I am loving right now, and let me tell you this:  there are an infinite amount of things that this gal loves but only a few lucky contenders will be making it onto the list.  

Netflix addiction summed up in 1 gif

1. With the weather already turning to a dismal mess and university due dates looming closer and closer I have found myself becoming increasingly distracted with, arguably, the number one thing that I am loving right now:  Netflix and chill lol jk nobody loves me.  There is a drastic difference between being in a committed relationship with your Netflix account and having an actual obsessed, crazy, addiction.  It will probably come as no surprise to hear that my current relationship with my Netflix is the latter and as of late I have found myself viewing TV late into the night and then rolling over first thing in the morning and starting all over again.  I have all of the symptoms of addiction and after doing some extensive research on Lookatyourdrinking.com (lol what dissertation?) I have come to realize that by substituting the word drink with Netflix every now and then the webpage could have been written about me:

1. Tolerance - You're able to drink binge watch episodes more and more, and you need more to get the same effect.
2. You drink watch more episodes for longer than you planned to (loss of control)
3. More and more of your time is taken up by drinking watching Netflix and recovering from drinking watching Netflix.
4. You have fewer or no more social contacts life and you work and enjoy leisure activities less or not at all due to drinking watching Netflix

I promised myself after my last relapse (the great Orange Is The New Black addiction of 2014, closely following the infamous Gossip Girl addiction of the same year) that I would never let myself get this way again.  I carefully distanced myself from Netflix for a while, I went outside and breathed in the fresh air and reminded myself of what it meant to be alive.  I watched Grey's Anatomy and How I Met Your Mother while carefully alternating between shows just as I started to care about one of them and it worked like magic for a while until

When the obsession hits hard

one day I began the next episode of How I Met Your Mother and then BOOM!! just like that it hit me... I cared! It all happened so quickly and took me by such surprise because I am usually so emotionless, dark and twisty (shout out to Meredith Grey) and uncaring.  But I could not deny it and before I knew it I cared so much.  And so I have baracaded myself in my room and binged just about 3 seasons of HIMYM (that's how the cool kids type it) in little more than 2 weeks.  It's not my fault that I care more about those fun friends than my dissertation, maybe if my dissertation was abundant in fun catch phrases, running jokes, Canadian teen pop sensations and adorkably adorable guys then I would have made more progress but as it stands just now How I Met Your Mother sits at the top of my list of things I want to do with my day and my dissertation sits around 3 from the bottom - beating out only punching Taylor Swift in the face (I WOULD NEVER!) and killing myself.  

Anyway, the positives from this situ are that I have been able to compile a list of ways to make my life more like a sitcom and I have found a fun Halloween costume for 2015 - Robin Sparkles, eh!

Stepping into Halloween 2015 like "Lets go to the mall, eh!"

bagels.  I cannot stop eating bagels.

2. So one day I woke up and realized that a part of my soul had died.  I came to this conclusion after I realized that I just wasn't feeling my homemade soup anymore (what the fuck right!?).  I just wasn't all about that soup life anymore and it was because I had found a new love.  As one door closes another opens and in this case it was a big ole bag of bagels behind the new door.  I don't know when I decided bagels were the new hip, fun and cool lunch in town but I fell hard for the bagels and after stealing a couple from the old flatmates I finally made my first ever bagel purchase today.  Perhaps I became such a bagel enthusiast when I decided to change my personality.  I decided I needed guidelines for how I was going to live out my life as a newly independent, unemotional  and (as always) dark and twisty muthafucka.  I drew a spider diagram split into 6 sections: 

1. Personality traits to keep (Including fun, funky, popular, cool, scheming)
2. Personality traits to ditch (Including needy, codependent, caring too much about certain things)
3. Things to do (including buying a fun hat, blog more, accept that I can be alone, take a break from making soup, write a song...)
4. Things to don't (including let people see you cry, seek out the company of others 24/7, ask for help writing your song)
5. Potential new catch phrases (including "Oh calamity!" "Look at the Haim!" "Is that the Haim already?"
6. Potential new interests ( Including Bagels, baking, tennis, grave robbing, poetry and the ducks... like feed them more and talk about them and stuff)

dark and twisty, dark and cloudy, and the namesake of Tays first cat!

I just love cats.

I decided I would channel some of my favourite female protaganists:

• Alice from Alice In Wonderland (what a curious little devil and she owned a cat)
• Hermione Granger (Get all studious and stuff, so far this hasn't worked.  Also she owned a cat)
• Robin Sherbatsky (Spend more time focusing on my career and myself and being more IDGAF, eh! She owned a dog but still)
• Blair Waldorf (Every day I ask myself: what would Blair Waldorf do?  Be the best thats what she would do! Had a cat in the books)
• Meredith Grey (Dark and twists init! Namesake of Tays cat)
• Holly Golightly (she had a cat and shit and if there is one thing I love in this world it is cats!!!  I love cats so much.  I could talk about cats all day.  I.  Love.  Cats!)

So to sum up... the point is I love bagels now

3. Music is like food for the soul (Queen G., 2015. youcancallmequeeng.blogspot.co.uk [Online]).  

rocking it

The only thing better than music is free music!  So recently I have been lovin' Spotify and all my new fun playlists: Shirley Bushy, Snoop Zebra, Fourth Year Get Psyched Mix... the list goes on but I shall not!).  Anyhoo, I have been thoroughly enjoying Saint Motel - My Type is especially #relatable ("You know you're just my type, you got a pulse and you are breathing" I feel ya, I love boys, I am so alone).  I've been enjoying a bit of Frank Sinatra also, what a guy!

It's hella fun browsing the different mood sections and coming across songs that I had forgotten existed, especially ones that make me feel nostalgic and shit.  If I had to give a song recommendation it would have to be Magnets by Lorde though, I have repeated myself until I'm blue in the face but I'll say it again: Lorde is far sillier than you would first imagine!  One day I would like to commit my day, and maybe even my life, to our Lorde and saviour and have her teach me the ways of a New Zealand teen pop sensation.  Perhaps one day I can meet all of the teen pop sensations of the world and start a band.  They can sing the theme tune for my new TV show I would like to produce: Wine Moms who all look similar and solve crimes together (starring Olivia Benson, Fiona Bruce, Eleanor Waldorf and Veronica Hastings and guest starring L's mum Cazzz because although she doesn't look like them she gives of just the right cool, calm, collected and terrifying vibe as the other ladies.)

dem moves

I no longer know where I am going with this blog post or my life so I'm going to say a sorrowful "goodbye" and an enthusiastic "I'll see you soon" because that's it from this very unfocused blog post.

The moral of the story is that at the mall having fun is what it's all aboot.

Until next time

xoxo,

Queen G!

September Summary

Puling out your get psyched mix tape like

Good day people of the blogisphere.  I am currently sitting in my bed, pajama clad, listening to my 'morning vibes' spotify playlist  (some would call it my very own Barney Stinson-esque get psyched mix).  This playlist is particularly fun because, despite it's name, I have listened to this selection of music at just about every time of day imaginable bar mornings.  Anyway, it's 11.30pm and my morning vibes are plentiful all thanks to this strong, select community of songs.  It has also just occurred to me that in less than an hour it will be the last day of September and this has led to take a long, hard look into the pond of reflection.  
Let the reminiscence begin.

September began with me drowning in a deep swamp of post New York depression.  A depression that could only be cured by spending money that I was supposed to be saving on clothes, boots and fun new stationary.  Myself and B had come to the conclusion that the only way we were going to survive the fiery pit of hell that is our university was to go into the new academic year feeling fierce, fun and fashionable.  We were going to go into the year as new people!  Then when the old faithful bus pulled up at the university bus stop on the dreaded first day back and we were forced to accept our cruel fate and sulk our way to the lecture theatre and fight the overwhelming desire to off ourselves we could take one look in the mirror and at least pretend that we were sophisticated, well put together young ladies.  My return from holiday also resulted in my return to work which brought about a strange turn of events:  I turn on the CD player one day because music is fun, therapeutic and because I wanted to and it just happened to be a Frank Sinatra CD that was in the machine... before I knew it the Frank Sinatra obsession of September twenty fifteen began #StrangersInTheNight.

Wish I could leave today to be a part of it

Shopping filled the void well and kept me from staring at pictures of New York/Watching absolutely any film or TV show set in that marvelous, beautiful city of dreams whilst crying into my Laduree napkins and rolling around in a pile of my New York City attraction tickets which I had kept as souvineers.  However, shopping can only solve so much and when shopping had done everything it could it was time to move on to the next method... Alcohol.  It was time to assemble The Whale Wankers (for new readers: the whale wankers is both a potential name for Sea World employees considering what the devastating and eye opening masterpiece of film Blackfish revealed about certain tasks they are required to undertake as servers of Satan and the name of the squad which consists of myself, B, L and S... It's a long story... when S isn't around we become The Taymoms #simples).  The Whale Wankers met for cocktails and clubbing.  

The Whale Wankers

Queen G and B after spotting The Calvin Harris

When we checked the drinks menu the first thing that caught my eye was what some would call destiny!  A drink called The Calvin Harris.  Now anyone who knows anything about The Whale Wankers knows that Calvin Harris is a deity to us.  We want to be him, we want to be with him, we want to take him home to meet our mothers...  Predictably 4 'Calvin Harris's' were purchased and then following that 2 more cocktails were purchased each (for myself they were The CrayCray and The Basic Beach but The Calvin Harris was abundantly better than everything that followed it, naturally).  After cocktails we went to the club and we danced all night because when in Rome.  S decided to stay at the club after we left, B fell asleep in the taxi and L and I (in said taxi) went to the McDonald's drive thru where I quizzed the employee on his knowledge of current BBC newsreaders (namely Fiona Bruce #MyHero).  I was most unimpressed about his knowledge and as soon as the transaction was complete we got the hell out of dodge and back to our flat.  We tried to get the taxi driver to keep B because she was asleep and only the strong survive in this friendship but he said it was against the Taxi Driver rules/laws/code of conduct.  L and I sat and gorged on deliciously disgusting fast food while watching Gossip Girl (L watched while I talked over the whole episode about how much I love Chuck Bass and Leighton Meester) and then I "woke a human being" (a phrase I chose to repeat over and over again in a whole lot of snapchat videos to B and L) to retrieve my Ed Westwick cardboard cut out from the room said human being was sleeping in #noregrets.  

Family Goals

A few days passed and then before I knew it, too soon, my alarm sounded to inform me that the summer was officially over and uni was back in business.  The first week flew by considering I was only in class for 2 days.  On those days I was told I looked "sophisticated" "older" "pretty" and I was complimented on my new Kate Spade bag from New York, my Miss Selfridge coat and on how fun my summer holiday looked (from the Facebook pictures of course).  

When you have to go back to university 

Team Gossip Squirrel 

After uni started back the weeks became a routine of uni Monday-Thursday, Friday off, working 12 hours on Saturday and Sunday.  In between this monotonous, dull, drab, struggle of survival we found time to attend a pub quiz which was hella fun -more alcohol was consumed except this time in sensible amounts and we came 6th overall which I think was a not bad effort for our first time.  I also managed to get through a crazy amount of How I Met Your Mother and have become absolutely addicted, which will probably result in a noticable reduction in productivity in post class studying but as I always say: when in Rome.  And you know what they love to do in Rome?  Watch How I Met Your Mother (probably because who would love to do that?).  Anyway, September has drawn to a strong and steady end as Leighton Meester's baby's birth was confirmed, Taylor Swift continued to dominate the charts, the world and my heart, cats still exist and are still 100% fluffy, the sun has returned to Scotland, I finished reading the first Sisterhood Of The Travelling Pants book, I've been making soup, Scream Queens finally aired and  Fiona Bruce returned to my screen looking as Olivia Benson/Veronica Hastings/Eleanor Waldorf as ever.  

My plans for October are to join the gym, finally settle on a Halloween costume (it's between Holly Golightly because I love Audrey Hepburn and plus cat or Wednesday Addams because thats fun and why not?), pay back my parents, host the Halloween party of the century, make a start on my dissertation and most importantly stay fun, fierce and funky.  

On a side note I finished reading Big Little Lies by Liane Moriarty in September and it was so good and I think you should all read it! 

The moral of the story is you can't win a participation award if you're not willing to participate.

Xoxo
Queen G

And for reference here are a list of songs that have played in my Morning Vibes playlist as I've composed this blog post:
Young Blood - The Naked And Famous
I Want You Back  - Jackson Five
Magnets - Lorde and Disclosure 
You Make My Dreams - Daryl Hall and John Oates
Yes Sir, I Can Boogie - Baccara
Weight of Living part 2 - Bastille
What Do You Mean? - Justin Bieber 
Blue - Marina And The Diamonds
All My Love - Ariana Grande and Major Lazer
Pumpin Blood - NONONO
Midnight Movies - Saint Motel
Something Stupid - Robbie Williams and Nicole Kidman
Tongue Tied - Grouplove
Marvin Gaye - Charlie Puth and Meghan Trainor
American Pie - Don McLean

The Squad Take Islay Day 1

The squad

On Thursday July 17th I woke up at 6am and then proceeded to work a 12 hour shift at work, now usually after my 3rd 12 hour shift of the week I come home, grab a snack, eat it in bed and then go to sleep and sleep for a million years.  On this particular day I returned home from work, grabbed your passport and my hand my rucksack and then B and I jumped in the back seat of S's (a fun friend who was quickly upgraded to a member of Edinburgh's more exclusive friendship group) car.  B and I both chose to sit in the back of the car because neither of us were feeling brave enough to battle with the constant intimidation that S radiates quite yet.  We journeyed to the far off kingdom of almost Glasgow to L's house and then after some very tense board game playing we retired to bed for the night next 4ish hours.  at 04.45 B's alarm sounded and she raised like a phoenix from the ashes to get ready for the great journey that lay ahead of us.  I was so relieved that I didn't have to get up yet and so I went back to sleep feeling #blessed.  At 04.53 my alarm sounded and I got up feeling far more refreshed than I had 8 minutes previous.  We had to leave L's house at 05.15 to start our journey and so at

#IWillGoDownWithThisShip

05.30 we were finally ready to go, 15 minutes late classic us.  We made a quick petrol and snack stop and I bought 2 multi packets of crisps, Irn Bru, a fun duck wrap and then panic bought belvita bars (#regrets).  I had been given full control of the music for the trip which was both exciting and terrifying since great power comes with great responsibility.  We started with some Leighton Meester to soothe us gently into the day, and let me tell you this: that song really builds.  By the end of Blue Afternoon we were all excited and ready to partay.  We were finally on our way, spirits high and music deafeningly loud. 

Thar not one whale blows

During the 3 hour drive to the ferry docks we learned many things such as that Loch Lomand is far larger than any of us had first imagined, that I am a far better DJ than any of them had first imagined and that S is actually far less intimidating that we had first imagined.  We were the first people to arrive for the Ferry, L and S went into the ticket office to collect the tickets and B (bladder bursting due to the fact she had chugged like 6 Pepsi Maxes during the drive) and I (bladder bursting because I hadn't peed in 3 hours and I'm only human) went to the rest room.  During the 30 minute wait for the Ferry to arrive I yelled "THARRR SHE BLOWWWWWS!!" more times than anyone had hoped for, by the 30th yell I think the saying had grown on everyone and they had learned to love it.  

Eventually after we had done our waiting, 12 years of it, in Azkaban it was Ferry Ho! thar she legit blows and it was time to board.  Driving onto the ferry was kind of terrifying due to the fact that S couldn't 100% guarantee she would manage to drive over the ramp and that there was a slight possibility we were all going to end up at the bottom of the ocean - sleeping with the fishes if you will.   Spoiler Alert: we made it.  We were going on a trip in our favourite ocean ship!  I sat by the window eyes pealed with keen anticipation for whales.  Along with attempted whale watching we spent the boat journey playing card games and charades.  At 10.30 L accused B of rigging the cards for snap so that she would

#FerryWankers

win, B had not rigged the cards.  At 10.45 I had still not seen a whale.  At 11.00 I decided i would make my 11.11 wish to see a whale.  At 11.11 I wished to see a whale. We also spent this time discussing what havoc we were going to inflict on Islay because The four of us always come home from nights out with some kind of crazy story and without a fun/outrageous story we aren't satisfied with how the night went. 15 minutes before arriving in Islay we decided to ascend the staircase to B deck aka deck 6 and we spent our final moments on the boat outside on the highest deck recreating scenes from Titanic, looking out for the whales and continuing the "THAR SHE BLOWS, WHALE HO!" chant.   Finally we were approaching Islay and it was time to return to the car, the thing is that B deck was far more slippy than you'd first imagine and so upon descending the stairs back to the car L fell not ones but twice and I couldn't contain my laughter... and then mid laugh I slipped, fell and hit the cold hard ground.  Now nobody on the ferry could contain their laughter and I felt like a fool.  I tried to keep my head held high and I told myself to conceal don't feel. 

We had no idea where we were going once we got off of the ferry. The initial 'lets just drive around and see what happens it will be so fun' mood wore off quicker than you would first expect when an hour later the four of us were lost in Islay with no signal and no idea how to get to J's house.  Our mainland brains were evidently ignorant to ways of island life and we had just assumed that Islay would be so small that we would

L recreating the great fall
of July 2015

just coincidentally end up at J's house if we drove long enough, this obviously was not the case.  We ended up in a small village and it was clear that everyone else in this village knew each other, this was made clear when we walked into a small cafe and everyone customer stopped eating to stare at us, open mouthed, cutlery dropping to the ground, young children pointing and the odd person taking a picture of the fresh new mainland meat.  I was sure we were going to die in that town, I felt like I was in one of those horror movies and I was certain that it was the case that once you visit the island you never leave the island.  Immediately I missed the busy rush of the city where nobody knows anyone, nobody wants to know anyone, nobody has time for anyone, and the only communication you have with strangers is mumbling profanities at them when they bump into you on the streets.  We found an empty hotel restaurant and we sat timidly at the table, on edge the whole time.  We ordered a chicken burger (minus veggie B who had some soup) and B, L and I ordered a vodka cranberry or vodka lemonade (fun fact, L received a glass of flat lemonade and this almost pushed her over the edge right into tear town).  At lunch we also made a deal with eachother, we were city girls through and through and if any of us showed too much of a taking to Islay life they were going to be asked to leave the friend group - in fact they wouldn't be allowed back onto the ferry with the rest of us.  Just to be extra precocious we decided that every time one of us aid something really nice about Islay or showed any indication that they wanted to be a farmer we would punch them (this was put into action several times over the weekend because Islay was very beautiful and it was hard not to comment on it and yes if S, B or L read this post they do have full permission to punch me, lightly, because of that last comment).

Pano

2 hours after arriving on Islay we finally made it J's house.  It was raining - some would call it a perfect storm.  Luckily we were privileged enough to earn ourselves a nice warm bed for a much needed afternoon nap.  After the most wonderful sleep ever, we rose like phoenixes once again and headed down to the kitchen for some baked potatoes.  B (not so stealthily) fed one of J's dogs food off of her plate and my plate while I (not so stealthily) filmed her) and then after dinner we  proceeded to accompany J to decorate the hall for the party which was taking place the next night - #friendgoals.  After a fleeting period of helpfulness L, B and I began to practice our dance moves and Bar Mitzvah lifts in the hall while J, S, B and M (B and M are J's friends who had just arrived...) continued to be productive.  We then returned to J's abode and had a quick whiskey tasting before retiring to bed for the night.  Before drifting off to sleep we lay together, four in a bed, recapping our day, sharing anxieties about sleeping in the marquee the next night during a perfect storm (#Marqueewindhorrorstories) and just generally keeping B awake as she tried desperately to sleep.  

I'M AN ADULT!!
#ONTHEGROUNDDD

I'm trying to conceal my disappointment about the whales

What would happen the next day?  Would we meet Hansel the horse?  What would happen at the party?  Would we get to see the beach?  Would we do something stupid at the party and get banished from Islay forever?  Would we ever be allowed to leave Islay or were we officially lifers?

All of this and more will be answered in part 2 which is coming at some point or another although I'm only human and I have to work since my job pays and this does not (there's not much justice in the world)

The moral of the story is never base your life happiness on the amount of whales you spot on a ferry trip to Islay because you'll only be left feeling empty and dispirited.

Until next time,
xoxo
Queen G

Goodnight, Sweet Prince.

Okay I'm just going to get straight into it today...  So the story I'm going to tell you is a love story.  There was a boy.  There was a girl.  When they first met it was an unrequited love in that she liked him but he didn't seem to feel the same way and then over time her feelings fizzled.  This story however was building up to one significant event like the ship hitting the iceberg in Titanic.  The iceberg of this story was diabetes.  Our leading man got a bad case of the diabetes and this must have put everything into perspective for him because he was able to show his true feelings for our leading lady after the diagnosis.  Things really escalated after the medical diagnosis had planted the seeds of love for them, the love began to blossom and bloom and grow.  Before long there love had reached the maximum level that love could reach and then in a sudden twist of fate our leading man was involved in a hit and run and killed.

Our last Christmas together

This is the story of myself and Harvey, the love of my life (and I'm afraid I may never love again).  So I've already told you all about Harvey before and if you haven't read these posts you should check them out so you know Harvey's full story.  Harvey was more Blair Waldorf at her Yale interview than Serena Van Der Woodsen at hers, he definitley looked more Darth Vadar than Sunshine Barbie.  Our relationship started out with me telling him that when the shipped docked in New York I was going to get off with him and he replied "nah man don't" he didn't wan't to teach me how to spit like a man or ride like a man or chew tobacco like a man... In fact I don't think he even really wanted me to get off of the plane - even if there really was a problem with he left phalange.  One day

Harvey looked a little off, and then a lot of off and then it was time to take him to the vet who

When the love hits you
so hard

diagnosed him with diabetes.  After this Harvey just changed so much.  I think that it may have been because I had saved his life and he was eternally grateful but he also stopped packing his angry eyes and just lived a much happier life after that day.  I began to love Harvey so much and I knew the feeling was most definitely mutual, the mere thought of Harvey made me want to burst into tears because I was overwhelmed with how much I loved this cat, I would pick him up and cradle him like a baby and we would dance around the kitchen in the refrigerator light all the time.  The thought of having to provide a fun fact about myself during 'ice breaker' situations no longer terrified me because I could always just say "I have a diabetic cat who we have to inject with insulin twice a day!".  It's so strange that all of this is now gone.  I had always thought that we would go out together Romeo and Juliet style #MurderSuicide.  It will be strange not having anyone march into the living room meowing loudly to announce their presence every morning when I'm at home; it will be weird not having anyone to carry around the house pretending to be my baby and who will be my dance partner when a slow Taylor Swift song comes on!?  

Some fun facts about Harvey:

1. Once he snuck into the car when my mum was going on holiday up north and she had driven for about 10 minutes before Harvey announced his presence with a loud meow and she had to turn around and drop him back at the house #ClassicHarvey

2. He once bit one of my friends mothers when she was petting him, she acted cool but you could tell she wasn't happy #ClassicHarvey

3. He once tried to jump up onto the windowsill while he was outside, he didn't quite make it though and he hit into the window then recreated the scene from The Lion King when Mufasa was hanging off of the ledge #ClassicHarvey

4. Harvey used to be called Harley with his old owners because he purred so loudly it reminded them of a Harley Davidson motorbike #ClassicHarvey

5. Harvey would drool all over me when he was sleeping/purring on my lap and I found out that the drool was caused by an overload of happiness #ClassicHarvey

Handsome young man

So Harvey we had a great time together; a real sad, beautiful, tragic love affair.  You were a legend, the king of cats, our fearless leader!  I will continue to spread the word of Harvey to the masses and make sure your memory lives on in the minds of others as much as you will live on in my heart.  I love you, I miss you, I'll see you again soon - unless they send diabetics to a different place to the medically fit in which case I'll get Charlotte the lifeguard or one of the other famous diabetics to love and mother you like I used to!

xoxo

Queen G.

Rest in peace to the love of my life.

The story of Harvey: http://youcancallmequeeng.blogspot.co.uk/2015/03/pretty-kitty-walkin-down-street.html

The story of when Harvey visited the flat: http://youcancallmequeeng.blogspot.co.uk/2015/03/guess-whos-back-heres-hint-its.html