Family Reunion

I never claimed to be H2O intolerant 

Last week I returned home to see my family because I haven't been home in ages and my uncle was over visiting from Thailand. 
Basically at these events I always get a flareup of my over excitability and chronic word vomit which ultimately leads to me making a bit of a full of myself and people getting a little fed up when I channel my inner favourite Finding Nemo character -Obnoxious.  
Picture this:  I walk into the house and want to seem fun, friendly and sociable so I flash my winning smile, show off my easy grace with strangers family and launch into my first story of the night (which will always be something completely irrelevant, confusing or plain stupid - a nice foreshadowing of what is to come during the rest of the evening).  I'm sure the first story I told was about how the local shop had recently been robbed of all the meat and now they have hired a security guard to patrol the meat aisle - this story would be told in that classic over excited, high pitched, piercing voice of mine and then as the story ends it will be followed by laughter.  The laughter is there as a queue for everyone to start laughing, in a 'haha am I not just so funny?  Wasn't that story hilarious, please laugh, everything I say is hilarious!'

Spirit animal 

 Kind of way.  After a few fun opinions of the story are vocalised by the family I quickly launch into story 2, then 3 then 4 until someone asks how university is going or some other normal question along those lines.
Of course, when asked these questions I can't just reply with a simple: yes university is going fine thanks or something along these lines.  Rather, I need to tell the whole family about how "yes its fine but" and then tell them about every silly or stupid thing I've done or said that is university related - most of these stories wouldn't even be as bad if it wasn't for the way I tell them.  You see a fun fact about me is that when I tell a story I don't want to just state the facts!  Every story has to be an epic chronicle, an Oscar worthy adventure. 

I've never done this FYI.

Then worst of all is when the word vomit extends to story about nights out... My voice keeps piercing through the room, spitting out every alcohol related story as my brain desperately tries to catch up in time to make some edits to keep the stories more PG and so I don't ruin my pristine reputation.
Basically the night ends with my sister being annoyed and frustrated that she can't get a story out without (unintentional) interruption from me and she is basically sick of the sound of my voice, everyone else feels like they have just been drowning and they have now finally resurfaced and can breathe again and I feel a bit loopy and ready for round 2 - if not for the fact that I have a really sore throat now.  Basically everyone needs time to recover, and when they finally do it will be just in time for me to return to them once again.  

They don't call me the loquacious Queen B for nothing!

The moral of the story is that if I had been in that lifeboat there most definitely

 would have been room for one more because there is no way I would have been able to shut that hole in my face!

I'd be at the bottom of the ocean

xoxo

Queen G