My Trip To Mystic Falls

Blonde G in Mystic Falls

So you might think that I have always been one thing, but I'm about to turn out to be the exact opposite (as 2006 Channing Tatum would say).  You may think that I have always been a die hard Gossip Girl fan but let me tell you, back in the day I was all about The Vampire Diaries... And luckily for me my obsession coincided perfectly with my holiday to America and guess where we were heading?  Georgia, home of Covington AKA Mystic Falls.
The first place we headed was a cute little shop to buy I Heart Damon Tshirts - naturally, and then we grabbed a Mystic Falls map.  
We walked around under the hot Georgia sun to visit Tyler's house, Caroline's House, Elena's house.. basically all of the houses.  Then we went to Scoops for ice-cream... well everyone else got ice cream but I'm too hipster for that so I got popcorn which is my fave snack.  The nice super Southern lady working the till informed us that the cast often stop buy for sweet snacks when they are in town filming but that they were currently out 

Elena's house - fun fact: it was
for sale when I was there.

of town at Comic Con in San Diego (3 guesses where we had just come from before Georgia?  Yes that's right, San Diego!  But guess who didn't get to go to Comic Con... me again.  The world is a fickle fickle place).
Then we stopped for some pictures on front of the famous clock tower were (Spoiler alert) Katherine Pierce made her famous suicide attempt of season 5.  And on front of the Mystic Grill where many a plate of fries have been served up by everyone's favourite blonde haired teddy bear - Matty blue blue.

I wonder if Matt is working?

Want to know another fickle truth of the world?  After Georgia we made our way to Gossip Girl town.  The year was 2011.  Gossip Girl was most definitley filming.  I had never seen Gossip Girl.  I could have witnessed an episode of Gossip Girl being filmed live but I was too lost inside a Gossip Girl-less world, unaware of the power of a simple xoxo.  Never mind thought because I'm returning to New York this summer with B and L (My real life Serena and Nelly - in the words of Uncle Waldo: Whoooopeeee)

**UPDATE** Since releasing this blog post it has been announced that Nina Dobrev will be leaving The Vampire Diaries.  This is heartbreaking in every way that something can be heartbreaking and I think I'll cry for 84 years!!  

An Introduction To All Of My Pets Past And Present

Over the years I have owned a variety of different fun pets!  There have been dogs, cats, fish, ponies... However, despite what I may have said as a child to my friends, in hopes of sounding fun and unique, I most definitely did not own a snail that we had to get rid of because it bit me!
Here is a list of every pet I have ever owned and some fun facts about each!

Firstly I'll start with my 2 goldfish: Gold and Goldie.  I got them for Christmas one year, it felt like they lasted for a lifetime when in reality it was probably like a month.  I was convinced I could tell the two fish apart but let's be real... 

I literally have no pics of them

Now let's get to the serious real pets that I could actually bond with and build an emotional attachment to!
My parents owned 2 dogs called Benji and Sandy before I was born and they were still around when I came along.  Sandy would eat absolutely anything in sight, I think I take after him.  The day he died my mum sat over his body crying and I poked him in the eye just to be sure he was really dead.  Then I phoned my dad at his work and shouted down the phone "SANDY IS DEAD AND MUM IS CRYING AND I POKED HIM IN THE EYE BUT HE IS DEAD! REALLY DEAD!" Not exactly the best way to break bad news to someone.  The next day they buried him in the garden and when I ran outside to play I tripped over the slab he was buried under and burst my knee open...  Benji hung on longer, once in his old age, after he had become kind of incontinent, I picked something up off of the sofa telling my mum "I've never tried a truffle before!" She quickly advised not to eat it because it was in fact not a truffle I'll let you put 2 and 2 together... Close call.  

Me and Benji, around the time of
the truffle incident 

Benji and Sandy

Me and sissy on Kipper

Next, before Benji departed this world, I got a Welsh pony called Kipper.  He was the light of my life!  We would go on adventures around our field - no hat, no saddle, no bridle because nah that aint me (much to my mothers dismay).  Literally every day was spent out in the field with Kipper, going on secret missions, learning how to jump, learning how to horse ride in general.  Eventually we moved Kipper to a riding stables and then when I turned 11 Kipper was passed down to my litter sister.  This was the most traumatic moment of my life - my parents gave my sister a card that read "Merry Christmas from your new pony Kipper" and I freaked the eff out, he was mine all mine!! We kept Kipper in our family until the day he passed away - way into his late 30s at least - from colic.

This is what most of my childhood looked like

My last day with Surprise

Continuing on from the Christmas story above... My parent's then gave me a card that Christmas which had a picture of a random Dun/Cream coloured pony which read "Merry Christmas from your new surprise pony" and I was so grateful but still heartbroken about Kipper until I reread it and realised that it actually read "Merry Christmas from Surprise, your new pony". Surprise was my favourite pony from the stables.  Her owner had outgrown her and noticed how much time I spent with Surprise - yes I was a lame preteen - and so offered her to my parents because they knew I'd look after her.  I've already written a whole blog about Surprise but here are a couple of fun facts - she was often mistaken for a boy which made me mad, once while out trekking we got chased by an out of control dog and her old owners used to only feed her organic carrots #fancy.  

Having some summer fun

Baby Nacho -not black and white!

Harvey

Next I'll tell you a little something about Nacho and Harvey, but just a little something because I've blogged about my cats a few times now.  Harvey is an ex obese, current diabetic.  Harvey used to be very fat, antisocial and he sacred me and so I payed him little attention.  We got Nacho - who was advertised as a black and white kitten - and he was so cute and I loved him.  Before moving out of my house for university I noticed Harvey had become skinny and sleepy, turns he had a bad case of the diabetes and since then hes been such a lovely cat!  Nacho was not too happy with us when we brought a puppy home with us to stay.  Nacho can be cute and cuddly when he feels like it, Harvey will cuddle in most of the time.  Harvey is too lazy to object.

Nacho now

he loves a hug

in da woods

Any finally, when I was in my final year of high school my mother decided to let us get a dog!  She decided we were getting a black lab which at first I was totally against but then I realised they were actually really cute! We travelled to the Scottish Borders to got visit a new little family of black lab puppies and fell in love and so as soon as he was of age to leave his mother we went to pic that little puppy up and bring him home.  None of us could agree on a name and so ultimately we let my grandad name him - he chose Riley after one of his classic cars.  Fun facts:  I often call him Boo Riley because I was ready To Kill A Mockingbird when we bought him, he loves shower time, he loves the cats even more and he thinks he's still small enough to sit on my knee - he is not!

Rocking his Christmas jacket

So there you have it, that's my pets.  Currently we still have Riley and the cats.  The moral of the story is that if my pets were Finding Nemo character's they would not have one tentacle shorter than their other tentacles, they wouldn't be H2O intolerant... they'd be obnoxious!  Every last one of them.  In the best of ways
xoxo
Queen G

5 Times My Drunken Words Were Not Sober Thoughts

So there is a saying floating around that seems to be fairly regularly seen to be accurate and true.  This saying is "Drunken words are sober thoughts" or one of the various forms of this saying.  However as a 20 year old girl who does occasionally over indulge in alcoholic beverages I can honestly say that I have regularly not found that to be true.  Maybe that's because I am a full time truth exaggerator at the best of times but regardless, here are 5 times when I personally have found the above saying to be lies and slander.

I do love cats though.

1. Okay so the first time I ever got drunk it hit me like a thousand knifes stabbing me all over my body, I couldn't breathe, couldn't think.  At least, not about anything except how incredibly happy, free confused and lonely I felt.  However, during this night I also tried to tell everyone who would listen, with a fair amount of conviction, that I was and had always been a cat.  Now I may repeatedly fill my head with a whole lot of nonsense every day but I am 98% sure that sober G does not think she is a cat.  


2. I struggle to remember the last time I went on a night out as G.  As soon as the drinks start flowing the spirit of Blair Waldorf emerges from my soul.  Sometimes it resonates only in the form of me telling people on nights out that my name is Blair (Which I will admit, sometimes this is a sober thought).  Other time's I conduct a whole back story about how I lived in New York and how my father left my mother for a 31 year old model, a male model!  Back in the day I would frequently gather an audience, 2 vodka cranberry's into the night, and put on a performance of a lifetime to one of Taylor Swifts many smash hit singles.  Although sometimes I would do this for no reason other than I am partial to a little bit of spotlight and attention. From time to time, back in the day I would perform in order to prove to this audience that I was in fact the on and only Pennsylvania born and raised, guitar strumming songstress.  Much like the cat thing I would also tell people a whole bunch of fun facts about Tay myself and inform them of all the struggles I endured on my journey to becoming a musical sensation!

3. I also have a tendency to do a little exaggeration from time to time after a night out on the town.  For example I may or may not have told L that I was so hungry that if she didn't buy me a chicken burger I was going to die from starvation!  I also may have told her I had broken my toe or else along those lines... In reality it was a tiny cut.

My life in a meme

4.  I have also told a countless amount of people while I'm drunk that I've met Lorde and that she is far sillier in real life than you'd first imagine... I can't honestly say that this ever crossed my mind while sober.  In fact I think I've grown to have a greater appreciation for Lorde now because of the amount of times I told people I loved her when I was drunk when in reality back then I had no opinion of her.

5. And finally I've told so many people that I study film and media when I've been drinking... fun fact: I don't study film and media.

So to summaries.  Either because I am a sober compulsive liar or for some totally different reason I can honestly say that I do not believe you should think of anything that drunken people say to you as their sober thoughts.

The True History Of Edinburgh

Today was a rare beautiful, warm and sunny day in Edinburgh so B and I decided to go for a walk.  It was during our time in our old favourite hang out - The graveyard, that we overheard a Harry Potter tour guide spreading the word of Harry to the masses and we realised that we actually had an abundance of our own Edinburgh fun facts!  We located Lord Voldy's grave and began sharing our fun facts with one another and before long we knew, we really knew that we needed to share these hidden gems with the masses.

Tom Riddell's grave

Firstly we need to take you back to 1996 when two kiwi travelers came to Edinburgh and decided to take part in the graveyard ghost tour, one of them was heavily pregnant at the time.  As it turns out the ghost tour was all a bit too much for the pregnant lady and she went into labour and had to give birth to her daughter in the graveyard gift shop.  She give birth over a cauldron of silliness and decided to name her child after her favourite book character who's name was inspired was a graveyard resident!  She named the baby Lorde, after Lord Voldemort (The E made it more feminine).  Now every Easter - which is the Lordes birthday, Lorde returns to Edinburgh to have a private birthday bash at The Elephant House cafe.

Dorota and Blair namespiration

Speaking of The Elephant House, this is also when a cult classic book series, which then progressed onto a screen series, was written.  The book was, of course, Gossip Girl.  Written by Gillian Flynn, who fun fact: got name inspiration for some of our beloved characters from names on the gravestones in Lorde's cemetery and also from some Edinburgh
streets. 

Blair Waldorf Stree

And on the subject of Gossip Girl, did you know that Leighton Meester was the namespiration for one of our fave character? Meester Chuck!  Before we move on from the graveyard you might be interested to know that it is the favourite hang of Nina Dobrev, she's spent Spring Break here for the past 4 years and she rated it a 10/10, the best graveyard she'd ever visited.
Anyway, if you walk back towards the Royal Mile you'll come to the Grassmarket which you may be interested to know is the most thrown up on street in Edinburgh!  And the grassmarket is just a hop, skip and a jump away from the Royal Mile where if you're lucky you'll see Niall Horan perform a balancing act in between the human statues and buskers. 

Hive is an Edinburgh must see.

So now onto the castle, which some people think was the inspiration for Hogwarts, as you ascend the steps toward the castle you might be interested to know that this was the spot where many famous fictional A's (Amy Pond, Amazing Amy, A from Pretty Little Liars)were named.  As you huff and puff your way up the steps you'll be in the same position as many famous writers and as they lost their breath's and fought off their asthma the inspiration just hit them! "huffff, ahhh, pufff, ahhh, ahhh amyyyy!"

So there you have it, Edinburgh has a lot of hidden gems to offer, just be careful you dont wander too far and end up crossing the Edinburgh-Japan border.  Also don't forget to stop to get a picture on the steps of the Met! 

Queen G and L on the Met steps

The Story Of The One And Only Unicorn Princess

For Christmas on my 11th year I got a new pony, this was an extremely practical gift because horse back has always been my preferred method of travel!  Since I was 5 years old I'd ride my pony everywhere; to school, to the swamp, to my

#TotesAdorbs

castle on a cloud (where, fun fact, crying at all is not allowed! Not on my castle on a cloud!).  My new pony was called Surprise and she made all of the other ponies on the yard look like Darth Vader next to Sunshine Barbie!

We first hit a snag when it turned out that dear old Surprise had about as much energy as I did- and that, my dear readers, is about as much energy as a humble sloth!  I mean Surprise wouldn't even canter the whole way round the area without stopping when I first got her.  We hit our second snag when I discovered one day, mid trek, that Surprise had roughly 1 million fears and her greatest fear of all was cows... I should probably explain that I kept her on a dairy farm at this point in time so this was not the most practical fear for her to have (in fact this was about as practical as being a vegetarian shark #LennieTheWhaleWashingDolphin #SharkTale2k4).  I guess the positives to this was that I quickly became a pro rodeo rider, every cloud has a silver lining as Hugh Laurie's character in Stuart Little would say! (Fun fact, I LOVE Hugh Laurie and my friend B met him on a bus once!)

A face that could launch a thousand ships

Howdy Ma'am

Eventually Surprise and I were unbeatable and together we discovered that the limit does not exist, which allowed us to win the math championship for the Mathletes and then proceed on to win Prom Queen!

After a while we moved Surprise to a different stables - this posed another challenge for Surprise and I because this arena was at least double the size to the one at our last stables, would we manage to canter the whole way round? would we be beaten? would we prick our finger on a magic spinning wheel and die?  Who knew but all this uncertainty was new and exciting.  (Spoiler alert, Surprise would canter round that arena all day and all night long by this stage, she had the energy of Forrest Gump now... I was still a sloth)

On Wednesdays we wear pink

Surprise and I had a lot of fun for a few years jumping, treking, sharing secrets and waiting for an absolution that would never come until one terrible awful day.  As it would turn out my parents decided that Surprise was the hero that I deserved, but not the one I needed right now and it was decided that due to a few different reasons Surprise would have to be sold.  The story of us looked a lot like a tragedy now and I wasn't ready to say goodbye.  Eventually after searching high and low my parents and I found a lovely little girl who was perfect for Surprise and so Surprise sent out her change of address card and packed her bags.  The last day was a super emotional event and as Surprise entered the horse box my blood pressure probably dropped really low from all the fluid I was losing through my flood of tears.

Surprise looking cute

I continued to visit Surprise and watch her life through Facebook.  However, a couple of years after Surprise had been sold I received a message via Facebook informing my that sweet little Surprise had been put down due to having really bad colic.

I still miss my crazy little pony.  Like she was actually insane!  She would spin and run at everything, you couldn't let your guard down for even a second otherwise you'd be lying on the cold hard ground - and believe me, more than a handful of people ended up there because of her!  But she was unique and fluffy and basically an all round 12/10 type of gal! 

soaring, flying

#BreakingFree

There's no a star
in heaven that
we cant reach

The moral of the story is that I did my waiting. 12 11 years of it, in Azkaban and then I was rewarded with a magical, fluffy unicorn called Surprise.  

Until next time

xoxo

Queen G

Who's Gonna Turn Off The Light?

Firstly I'd like to thank Nelly Furtado for the inspiration behind the title for this blog post!  Thanks Nel.  Secondly I'd like to explain what this post is actually about.  So last week B and I went to see Insurgent in the cinema - 10/10 fun for the whole family, great performances from bedhead, Ansel, Miles and the whole cast.  Anyway, this is not a film review post so I wont elaborate on the film any further, all I would say is that if you haven't seen it yet then definitely check it out!! 

After the film B and I were discussion Four and how in a Divergent world our name's would have to be like Fourteen as the very least - Personally I'll put my hands up and say I'd probably be called Forty but lets settle for fourteen...

I'm afraid you'll have to get it Nelly, I'm too scurred

So this post is dedicated to 14 of my biggest fears.

1. The dark.  I'm not as afraid of the dark as I was as a child but if it's between me turning off the light at night or someone else then I'm going to vote for someone else to do it every time.
2. Sharks.  This fear very possibly derived from me watching Jaws when I was too young but regardless of where it came from the fear is real.  I used to be too scared to get into the pool for swimming lessons in case there was a shark, yes in an indoor swimming pool. 
3. Airplane crash.
4. Meeting Ed Westwick or Taylor Swift while looking like a not-so-hot mess/not having a camera on me.  
5. Aliens.  I hope ET stays home this time.
6. Finding a genie lamp and being offered 3 wishes then having all the wishes taken away for wishing for unlimited wishes #Iwanttheworld #Iwantthewholeworld #VerucaSalt
7. Spiders.  Is it because they have more legs than most of God's creatures?  Is it the fact that they can creepy crawl their way into your life when you least expect it?  Who knows, but they are disgusting. 
8. Going for surgery and being able to feel everything but not being able to move or talk so the surgeon keeps operating.
9. Suzanne Collins releasing a 4th book where Katniss chooses Gale #no
10. Being a crazy cat lady 
11. My cats running away and leaving me as just a crazy lady.  Alone. Catless
12. Gossip Girl being removed from Netflix
13. Not realising that I've been in love with Rhett all along until he doesn't give a damn #Franklymydear
14. My group chats and private mail conversations being unleashed onto the world.

Rhett please give a damn

Good point

Why risk it?

So there you have it, 14 of my fears.  Luckily their is one thing stronger than fear and that's hope - or so Pres Snow says.  

Until next time,

xoxo

Queen G

An Open Letter To Joyce

Dear Joyce (our humble flat mouse),

I am writing this letter today to inform you of all the things I wanted to tell you that I never did.  If I could go back and tell you while you were still here I would.  But I cant.  Firstly you may be wondering why after your little mouse body was found underneath the sofa pillow last night we thought it would be appropriate to then give you a name.  Let me explain.  The day before we found you, B and I watched a documentary on Netflix about a woman named Joyce who's body was found in her flat 3 years after she died... the next day we found you, approx 2 weeks after your demise.  Therefore, we thought it would be logical to name you after someone who had been in the same predicament as you.  After all I didn't want to name you while you were alive because we just sort of took up by the river one day, we didn't belong to each other: You were an independent, and so was I. 

Karen Brockman knows best

You sort of just pushed your way into my life one day and I felt like you took me for granted!  On my birthday you only got me 36 presents, 36!? But last year.  Last year I had 37!  You never contributed anything to your upkeep, you never paid a penny towards rent, nor did you offer to cover the cost of your meals and at the end of the day you didn't even seem grateful for the life I was providing you with. All I wanted was a little peace and quiet, at least while I was trying to study, eat and sleep.

However, discovering your body the other day put everything in perspective.  I was shaken to my very core.  When I lifted that pillow and knew you'd been there the whole time, right under my favourite sitting spot, I mean I wasn't expecting that (biggest plot twist since finding out that Fiona had been an ogre all along!).   But I guess nobody expects to find a dead mouse, freshly flattened, right where they had just parked their behind. 

I want you to know that I just wasn't happy anymore and I hadn't been for a while!  I thought I was making myself clear the night you came scurrying home at a ridiculous hour pleading maddeningly "G, G... G, if you go, where shall I go? What shall I do?" and I retorted with "Frankly, my mouse, I don't give a damn".  I can't help but wonder why you didn't stay away and if things would have worked out differently if you had - I know they would have!  Then you returned and I just thought that you were a sad, strange little mouse and you had my pity but then you got possessive!  When you snuck into my room at night and told me to choose between Ed and you and I told you I'd rather be Ed's whore than your wife then I spat in your face and yet you refused to leave - I'll admit I was a little frightened, I may have screamed like just once when I saw you that night!

Because you're worth it, amen and out 

After that I knew you had to go, I called in the cat's because I needed to send a message.  I had heard rumours on the grapevine that they were dangerous and that they had a very particular set of skills, skills they had acquired over a very long career.  Skills that made them a nightmare for mice like you.  I guess what I had heard was right.  I can't honestly say that I'm sad that you're gone.  What I am sad about is the fact that you had to die. You died on a Saturday morning(unconfirmed).  And I had you placed here under our tree.  And I had that house of your father's bulldozed to the ground.  Momma always said that life was a part of death... I sure wish it wasn't.  

However, now that we've found you and sent you off to a better place I don't just feel basted in relief, I feel marinaded in it

Yours sincerely,
Queen G (and her cohorts)