Things I'm Lovin' Right Now

Heyyyyyaaaaa.  So I'm back, I'm blogging and I'm boogieing.  I thought I would talk about some of the things that I am loving right now, and let me tell you this:  there are an infinite amount of things that this gal loves but only a few lucky contenders will be making it onto the list.  

Netflix addiction summed up in 1 gif

1. With the weather already turning to a dismal mess and university due dates looming closer and closer I have found myself becoming increasingly distracted with, arguably, the number one thing that I am loving right now:  Netflix and chill lol jk nobody loves me.  There is a drastic difference between being in a committed relationship with your Netflix account and having an actual obsessed, crazy, addiction.  It will probably come as no surprise to hear that my current relationship with my Netflix is the latter and as of late I have found myself viewing TV late into the night and then rolling over first thing in the morning and starting all over again.  I have all of the symptoms of addiction and after doing some extensive research on Lookatyourdrinking.com (lol what dissertation?) I have come to realize that by substituting the word drink with Netflix every now and then the webpage could have been written about me:

1. Tolerance - You're able to drink binge watch episodes more and more, and you need more to get the same effect.
2. You drink watch more episodes for longer than you planned to (loss of control)
3. More and more of your time is taken up by drinking watching Netflix and recovering from drinking watching Netflix.
4. You have fewer or no more social contacts life and you work and enjoy leisure activities less or not at all due to drinking watching Netflix

I promised myself after my last relapse (the great Orange Is The New Black addiction of 2014, closely following the infamous Gossip Girl addiction of the same year) that I would never let myself get this way again.  I carefully distanced myself from Netflix for a while, I went outside and breathed in the fresh air and reminded myself of what it meant to be alive.  I watched Grey's Anatomy and How I Met Your Mother while carefully alternating between shows just as I started to care about one of them and it worked like magic for a while until

When the obsession hits hard

one day I began the next episode of How I Met Your Mother and then BOOM!! just like that it hit me... I cared! It all happened so quickly and took me by such surprise because I am usually so emotionless, dark and twisty (shout out to Meredith Grey) and uncaring.  But I could not deny it and before I knew it I cared so much.  And so I have baracaded myself in my room and binged just about 3 seasons of HIMYM (that's how the cool kids type it) in little more than 2 weeks.  It's not my fault that I care more about those fun friends than my dissertation, maybe if my dissertation was abundant in fun catch phrases, running jokes, Canadian teen pop sensations and adorkably adorable guys then I would have made more progress but as it stands just now How I Met Your Mother sits at the top of my list of things I want to do with my day and my dissertation sits around 3 from the bottom - beating out only punching Taylor Swift in the face (I WOULD NEVER!) and killing myself.  

Anyway, the positives from this situ are that I have been able to compile a list of ways to make my life more like a sitcom and I have found a fun Halloween costume for 2015 - Robin Sparkles, eh!

Stepping into Halloween 2015 like "Lets go to the mall, eh!"

bagels.  I cannot stop eating bagels.

2. So one day I woke up and realized that a part of my soul had died.  I came to this conclusion after I realized that I just wasn't feeling my homemade soup anymore (what the fuck right!?).  I just wasn't all about that soup life anymore and it was because I had found a new love.  As one door closes another opens and in this case it was a big ole bag of bagels behind the new door.  I don't know when I decided bagels were the new hip, fun and cool lunch in town but I fell hard for the bagels and after stealing a couple from the old flatmates I finally made my first ever bagel purchase today.  Perhaps I became such a bagel enthusiast when I decided to change my personality.  I decided I needed guidelines for how I was going to live out my life as a newly independent, unemotional  and (as always) dark and twisty muthafucka.  I drew a spider diagram split into 6 sections: 

1. Personality traits to keep (Including fun, funky, popular, cool, scheming)
2. Personality traits to ditch (Including needy, codependent, caring too much about certain things)
3. Things to do (including buying a fun hat, blog more, accept that I can be alone, take a break from making soup, write a song...)
4. Things to don't (including let people see you cry, seek out the company of others 24/7, ask for help writing your song)
5. Potential new catch phrases (including "Oh calamity!" "Look at the Haim!" "Is that the Haim already?"
6. Potential new interests ( Including Bagels, baking, tennis, grave robbing, poetry and the ducks... like feed them more and talk about them and stuff)

dark and twisty, dark and cloudy, and the namesake of Tays first cat!

I just love cats.

I decided I would channel some of my favourite female protaganists:

• Alice from Alice In Wonderland (what a curious little devil and she owned a cat)
• Hermione Granger (Get all studious and stuff, so far this hasn't worked.  Also she owned a cat)
• Robin Sherbatsky (Spend more time focusing on my career and myself and being more IDGAF, eh! She owned a dog but still)
• Blair Waldorf (Every day I ask myself: what would Blair Waldorf do?  Be the best thats what she would do! Had a cat in the books)
• Meredith Grey (Dark and twists init! Namesake of Tays cat)
• Holly Golightly (she had a cat and shit and if there is one thing I love in this world it is cats!!!  I love cats so much.  I could talk about cats all day.  I.  Love.  Cats!)

So to sum up... the point is I love bagels now

3. Music is like food for the soul (Queen G., 2015. youcancallmequeeng.blogspot.co.uk [Online]).  

rocking it

The only thing better than music is free music!  So recently I have been lovin' Spotify and all my new fun playlists: Shirley Bushy, Snoop Zebra, Fourth Year Get Psyched Mix... the list goes on but I shall not!).  Anyhoo, I have been thoroughly enjoying Saint Motel - My Type is especially #relatable ("You know you're just my type, you got a pulse and you are breathing" I feel ya, I love boys, I am so alone).  I've been enjoying a bit of Frank Sinatra also, what a guy!

It's hella fun browsing the different mood sections and coming across songs that I had forgotten existed, especially ones that make me feel nostalgic and shit.  If I had to give a song recommendation it would have to be Magnets by Lorde though, I have repeated myself until I'm blue in the face but I'll say it again: Lorde is far sillier than you would first imagine!  One day I would like to commit my day, and maybe even my life, to our Lorde and saviour and have her teach me the ways of a New Zealand teen pop sensation.  Perhaps one day I can meet all of the teen pop sensations of the world and start a band.  They can sing the theme tune for my new TV show I would like to produce: Wine Moms who all look similar and solve crimes together (starring Olivia Benson, Fiona Bruce, Eleanor Waldorf and Veronica Hastings and guest starring L's mum Cazzz because although she doesn't look like them she gives of just the right cool, calm, collected and terrifying vibe as the other ladies.)

dem moves

I no longer know where I am going with this blog post or my life so I'm going to say a sorrowful "goodbye" and an enthusiastic "I'll see you soon" because that's it from this very unfocused blog post.

The moral of the story is that at the mall having fun is what it's all aboot.

Until next time

xoxo,

Queen G!

September Summary

Puling out your get psyched mix tape like

Good day people of the blogisphere.  I am currently sitting in my bed, pajama clad, listening to my 'morning vibes' spotify playlist  (some would call it my very own Barney Stinson-esque get psyched mix).  This playlist is particularly fun because, despite it's name, I have listened to this selection of music at just about every time of day imaginable bar mornings.  Anyway, it's 11.30pm and my morning vibes are plentiful all thanks to this strong, select community of songs.  It has also just occurred to me that in less than an hour it will be the last day of September and this has led to take a long, hard look into the pond of reflection.  
Let the reminiscence begin.

September began with me drowning in a deep swamp of post New York depression.  A depression that could only be cured by spending money that I was supposed to be saving on clothes, boots and fun new stationary.  Myself and B had come to the conclusion that the only way we were going to survive the fiery pit of hell that is our university was to go into the new academic year feeling fierce, fun and fashionable.  We were going to go into the year as new people!  Then when the old faithful bus pulled up at the university bus stop on the dreaded first day back and we were forced to accept our cruel fate and sulk our way to the lecture theatre and fight the overwhelming desire to off ourselves we could take one look in the mirror and at least pretend that we were sophisticated, well put together young ladies.  My return from holiday also resulted in my return to work which brought about a strange turn of events:  I turn on the CD player one day because music is fun, therapeutic and because I wanted to and it just happened to be a Frank Sinatra CD that was in the machine... before I knew it the Frank Sinatra obsession of September twenty fifteen began #StrangersInTheNight.

Wish I could leave today to be a part of it

Shopping filled the void well and kept me from staring at pictures of New York/Watching absolutely any film or TV show set in that marvelous, beautiful city of dreams whilst crying into my Laduree napkins and rolling around in a pile of my New York City attraction tickets which I had kept as souvineers.  However, shopping can only solve so much and when shopping had done everything it could it was time to move on to the next method... Alcohol.  It was time to assemble The Whale Wankers (for new readers: the whale wankers is both a potential name for Sea World employees considering what the devastating and eye opening masterpiece of film Blackfish revealed about certain tasks they are required to undertake as servers of Satan and the name of the squad which consists of myself, B, L and S... It's a long story... when S isn't around we become The Taymoms #simples).  The Whale Wankers met for cocktails and clubbing.  

The Whale Wankers

Queen G and B after spotting The Calvin Harris

When we checked the drinks menu the first thing that caught my eye was what some would call destiny!  A drink called The Calvin Harris.  Now anyone who knows anything about The Whale Wankers knows that Calvin Harris is a deity to us.  We want to be him, we want to be with him, we want to take him home to meet our mothers...  Predictably 4 'Calvin Harris's' were purchased and then following that 2 more cocktails were purchased each (for myself they were The CrayCray and The Basic Beach but The Calvin Harris was abundantly better than everything that followed it, naturally).  After cocktails we went to the club and we danced all night because when in Rome.  S decided to stay at the club after we left, B fell asleep in the taxi and L and I (in said taxi) went to the McDonald's drive thru where I quizzed the employee on his knowledge of current BBC newsreaders (namely Fiona Bruce #MyHero).  I was most unimpressed about his knowledge and as soon as the transaction was complete we got the hell out of dodge and back to our flat.  We tried to get the taxi driver to keep B because she was asleep and only the strong survive in this friendship but he said it was against the Taxi Driver rules/laws/code of conduct.  L and I sat and gorged on deliciously disgusting fast food while watching Gossip Girl (L watched while I talked over the whole episode about how much I love Chuck Bass and Leighton Meester) and then I "woke a human being" (a phrase I chose to repeat over and over again in a whole lot of snapchat videos to B and L) to retrieve my Ed Westwick cardboard cut out from the room said human being was sleeping in #noregrets.  

Family Goals

A few days passed and then before I knew it, too soon, my alarm sounded to inform me that the summer was officially over and uni was back in business.  The first week flew by considering I was only in class for 2 days.  On those days I was told I looked "sophisticated" "older" "pretty" and I was complimented on my new Kate Spade bag from New York, my Miss Selfridge coat and on how fun my summer holiday looked (from the Facebook pictures of course).  

When you have to go back to university 

Team Gossip Squirrel 

After uni started back the weeks became a routine of uni Monday-Thursday, Friday off, working 12 hours on Saturday and Sunday.  In between this monotonous, dull, drab, struggle of survival we found time to attend a pub quiz which was hella fun -more alcohol was consumed except this time in sensible amounts and we came 6th overall which I think was a not bad effort for our first time.  I also managed to get through a crazy amount of How I Met Your Mother and have become absolutely addicted, which will probably result in a noticable reduction in productivity in post class studying but as I always say: when in Rome.  And you know what they love to do in Rome?  Watch How I Met Your Mother (probably because who would love to do that?).  Anyway, September has drawn to a strong and steady end as Leighton Meester's baby's birth was confirmed, Taylor Swift continued to dominate the charts, the world and my heart, cats still exist and are still 100% fluffy, the sun has returned to Scotland, I finished reading the first Sisterhood Of The Travelling Pants book, I've been making soup, Scream Queens finally aired and  Fiona Bruce returned to my screen looking as Olivia Benson/Veronica Hastings/Eleanor Waldorf as ever.  

My plans for October are to join the gym, finally settle on a Halloween costume (it's between Holly Golightly because I love Audrey Hepburn and plus cat or Wednesday Addams because thats fun and why not?), pay back my parents, host the Halloween party of the century, make a start on my dissertation and most importantly stay fun, fierce and funky.  

On a side note I finished reading Big Little Lies by Liane Moriarty in September and it was so good and I think you should all read it! 

The moral of the story is you can't win a participation award if you're not willing to participate.

Xoxo
Queen G

And for reference here are a list of songs that have played in my Morning Vibes playlist as I've composed this blog post:
Young Blood - The Naked And Famous
I Want You Back  - Jackson Five
Magnets - Lorde and Disclosure 
You Make My Dreams - Daryl Hall and John Oates
Yes Sir, I Can Boogie - Baccara
Weight of Living part 2 - Bastille
What Do You Mean? - Justin Bieber 
Blue - Marina And The Diamonds
All My Love - Ariana Grande and Major Lazer
Pumpin Blood - NONONO
Midnight Movies - Saint Motel
Something Stupid - Robbie Williams and Nicole Kidman
Tongue Tied - Grouplove
Marvin Gaye - Charlie Puth and Meghan Trainor
American Pie - Don McLean

8 Things That Happen When You Go On Holiday With Your Best Friends

It feels like just yesterday that summer was starting, I was venturing down to London to see T Swizzle, the light of my life, perform live and I was working the weeks away desperate for the end of August to come so that I could finally go on holiday with B and L!  Well believe it or not that holiday came and went and I have been back in miserably, glacial Scotland - chilled to the bone even underneath my new pink Miss Selfridge coat!

Anyway  I returned from America tanned, bankrupt and enlightened!  Here are some of the things that I learned about going on holiday with your friends/here is my American summer blog post.  Fasten your seat belts kids, it's going to be a wild ride!

Concrete jungle where dreams
are made of!

My fave view in NYC

L, B and G with Libby

1- There will be a holiday catch phrase.

Then I said "what about Breakfast At
Tiffany's?"

Our alarm sounded early on the morning of our flight and we journeyed to the airport via tram.  After checking in, heading through security and browsing the shops aimlessly trying to pass the time we finally boarded the plane.  I personally do not care much for plane food - although United airlines may have converted me - yet when the trusted copilot announced the dining options for us (they must have been short of important jobs for him to do that night, bless!) I decided that I would in fact order a meal!  I turned to Lesley and uttered the phrase " when in Rome"  in an ever so matter of fact kind of way and just like that a legend was born.  Suddenly we could do absolutely anything we wanted to do on our trip as long as it was justified with "When in Rome!".  Some would argue that this catch phrase lived and died on the outward journey but I will continue to campaign to make it one of our group's many motto's!

Where Queen B
buys her headbands

Furthermore, the first week of our holiday was spent in Tulsa, Sweet Home Oklahoma - the sooner State, the Paris of Oklahoma some would say!  We stayed at B's house with her family, her mother - who's name is R; she is kind; she is smart; she is important and her hair is attractively arranged - does not condone cussing in any form (she's a classy lady!) which lead to many an utterances of "Oh my Goddddd-ness!"   Ultimately we ended up adopting "oh my goodness" as our own little saying and if one person said it then the other two would chime in and repeat it in a very Annie(1982)-esque kind of fashion!  

2 - Safety?

OU - The day we almost
died!

Maybe it was the overpowering liberty and justice that encompassed us 24/7 while we were in the states?  Maybe it was all the freedom in the air? Whatever it was it had taken ahold of B one day when we embarked on a perilous quest to visit her brother at OU.  It all started when she decided to change lanes on the highway without checking her mirrors first (that old chestnut) and this almost led to us becoming a statistic.  However, on the journey back to T-town things escalated!  B got lost and all she knew was that we had to head left because that was the direction of her house, she kept driving left but you see the problem with her logic was that she had somehow forgotten that a huge river runs through the middle of her home state.  Anyway, we turned left over a railway crossing and immediately knew that this had been a wrong turn, B circled around and the next event happened so fast!  She started driving down the railway tracks and I exclaimed "what the hell are you doing!?  Get back on the road!!!" *points at the road*.  Luckily (and B claims she knew this all along) the railway line was out of use and we safely made it back onto the road.  

We weren't safe for long...

We went from small road, to smaller road, to dirt road, to dirt track, heading left all the time!  We ended up in a place that would be more accurately described as a compound than an apartment complex.  There were warning signs on the gates explaining that fire arms were prohibited on the property,  people stared at us, I was certain we were going to die.  We got the hell out of there as fast as we could, L's request to stop to get a photo denied.  We eventually made it back to a real road and a huge bridge which lead us safely across the Arkansas river... back home and tucked up safely in bed by 10.30pm.



3 - Someone will get injured

It was worth the blood,
sweat and tears.

I guess this one links in to the above point in many ways.  We ventured down to Texas for the weekend to spend a fun filled day at Six Flags theme park, this was great because the Texas and Oklahoma welcome centers provided many a great photo ops!  The problem was that simply standing beside the Texas sign or duck facing beside the Oklahoma sign was, in the words of Cyrus Rose: not enough!  We had to climb!  On the great climb of the Oklahoma sign 2k15 L managed to injure her leg when it connected with some amount of force with the brick sign.  Classic L.  

Magic, madness, heaven and sin!

On our last night in Oklahoma we once again threw safety out the door and welcomed many an opportunity for injury.  We went night swimming and let me tell you this: hypothermia wasn't the only danger lurking near by!  The three of us suffer from a sickness where we need to push things just one step too far.  There was attempts to recreate dirty dancing lifts and professional cheer moves.  There were challenges to see if we could jump onto the huge Taylor Swift #swangoals inflatable swan landing on our feet.  We tried to do an immeasurable amount of less than safe things and its a wonder that the most serious injury was only a slightly sore neck or back.



4 - I'll live off of water and sunshine!
Okay so we said a big goodbye to Oklahoma and an extremely enthusiastic hello to New York City.  New York was the most amazing place that I had ever been and there was an unfathomable number of things to see and do...  This made for the most outstanding holiday ever however all the glitz and glamour and shops and tours and pollution was very distracting and often lead us to forget to stop for food or sleep.  Often we remembered the importance of hydration however the early starts often lead to a missed breakfast and then on the way to lunch we would discover something wonderfully fun to do and before we knew it was dinner time and we had only eaten a sandwich, if anything, and this paired with 12+ miles of walking was probably not helping us achieve our daily recommended calorie intake.  Sometimes you are just having too much fun to stop and

consider if you are fulfilling all of your basic survival needs every day - I was living off of fun and excitement.  I was in love with New York City.  The big city life style had energized me and had filled me to the gunnels so that food was often a passing thought... until one day it all became too much!

Urban Outfitter's offers so much
entertainment

Candid shot in Urban

Oh My God
goodness, look at that face

5 - down in flames

A sad attempt at a smile by myself

Unfortunately you can only survive off of fun, excitement, water and sunshine for so long before you become vexed and irritable.  A few days from the end of our holiday a combination of a lack of sustenance and a deep desperation for our New York trip to not end led to a few bouts of bickering between the Taymoms (thats the name of our group due to our deep admiration of Taylor Momsen, when we add S to the group our name becomes The Whale Wankers but lets move on from that).  It was the deep desire for a wonderful sandwich and the fact I had reached the end of my tether on the bus tour after the tour guide decided to treat us to his one man comedy show jokes 6+ times (per joke) during our journey that led to the huge Queen G downfall of 2015.  There was the clear annoyance expressed towards B and L on the long walk to the museum as fuel was added to the deep fire of rage burning away inside of me.  Then there was the ignoring, the snapping and storming off in the food hall, the secluding, the missing out on the entirety of the Natural History Museum due to tantrum and then ultimately the tears in central park afterwards.  I look back on this day fondly! #noregrets.  That was a lie, I have many regrets.

Then there was the time that to L's horror we left on 30 minutes early for Wicked when the walk took 20 minutes!  The tensions were running high from fears of being late and missing it.  L raced on ahead like a boat against the current.  In protest I trailed behind and got stuck at almost every stop light imaginable.  I befriended a lost Northern Irish couple and passive aggressively told them how I had been left behind by my friend.  The pair of lost lambs had sought me out when then mistook me for a New York local (probably due to my cool exterior and my look of ease as i strutted down the streets).  Initially they had looked disappointed when I told them I was not from New York however when my natural talent for directions came into play and I was able to point them in the right direction to the theater they were eternally grateful.  It's so lucky that I have such a great sense of directions, and that we happened to share a final destination!  B came back for me and we arrived at the Gershwin theater to find that L was not there.  I instantly assumed that she had gone in without us with our tickets and that we would therefore miss the show!  Things looked bleak and friendships were about to be cut off even though B was certain that L wouldn't do that to us.  Suddenly L appeared looking like an angry bull who was seeing red and we went inside.  Before long basic civil conversation started and then in no time all was forgiven right in time of the start of the first song.

I cant pick a fave!

B and L like Glinda best

#SiblingGoals

Throughout the last few days of the trip there were a handful of classic sibling bickering events (99% between myself and L) over everything and anything from post uni expeditions, living arrangements, directions, our 4th year club of choice... you name it, we bickered about it just enough to drive B to insanity.  But fear not loyal readers, this did not dent our friendship at all!  She is still the Serena to my Blair, the heart to my ocean...

6 - Make good choices?

So we went on a day of shopping towards the end of our holiday because when in Rome!  We didn't even think twice about spending over $100 on headbands or necklaces or over $200 on handbags and yet even when it came to the dark days mentioned above when the tensions were running high due to hunger we deeply begrudged spending over $10 on a sandwich...  Classic!

 7 - New vibes, good energy

The best Macaroons in town

One thing that certainly happened on our holiday was that we reflected a lot on what we were like back home in Scotland and we realized how many of the fun activities we had done in New York (such as going for Macaroons from Laduree or visiting cute cafes or nice restaurants) could be recreated, to an extent, back home in Edinburgh.  One of the things that really made us unhappy about returning home was the fact that we didnt want to have to stop having fun or dressing nicely.  We realized that we could still wear nice clothes or do something, anything really, other than Netlflix  (#netflixandchill?) every day!  

The Highline park

We thought a lot about how we wanted to spend our time back home and we decided we would be more outgoing and actually try to plan to participate in different activites.  We could still wear nice clothes as long as we added fun tights, coats and boots to prevent us dying from the cold.  The holiday was ending but the fun could continue if we just put in a bit of effort.  In the words of some random stranger on the Highline Park we just needed to share "good positive energy and feel the good vibes"

 8 - It's gonna be forever

Our last day in NYC. Rowboats. recreating Chuck and
Blair's wedding, Central Parking it up

Most importantly the three of us grew closer than ever.  We now have so many new fun memories together, an abundance of pictures and videos to get us through the dark winter days in the university library.  Sitting bored and ready to blow my brains out in class I can think back to the Gossip Girl Tour, Blair Waldorfing it up on the Met steps.  Dancing around the streets compiling videos for our holiday music video.  Mucking around on Liberty Island.  Basking in the breathtaking view from Top Of The Rock - home of Jimmy Fallon.  Recreating the Blair and Serena photoshoot outside The Empire. We passed urine in the bathrooms of every fancy hotel we seen.  We ogled at everything that Dylan's Candy Bar had to offer.  We all bought expensive brightly coloured handbags, we strutted about central park and up and down all of the streets and avenues, the Taymoms owned that city and they left as the most sturdy friendship group that there ever was - strong and true.

The Empire Hotel bar (They sell a Chuck Bass
cocktail!)

#Viewgoals!

Finally 
Here is one last story before you go!
We boarded the plane in Newark airport at the end of our holiday, relieved to be on the plane after, for reasons I cannot fathom, United airlines managed to overbook our flight by 8 people.  They offered to put 8 people onto the next flight to Glasgow or Belfast (and unless Blefast was merely a stop off on the way to Edinburgh I fear that Americans have a slight knowledge gap of UK geography).  Luckily 8 heroes volunteered up their seets in exchanged for $300 worth of air miles.  Everyone was desperate to take off after the slight delay that this overbooking had caused and their was a shared sigh of relief when the safety video began to play and we taxied to the runway.

Suddenly the safety video stopped.

The captain announced that there was a  passenger missing from their seats and it was a federal offence to play the video without everyone seated and so we would have to wait for this person to return to their seat, hopefully this wouldn't delay take off further.  I asked L to confirm what the captain had said and she told me that we might be delayed because some idiot had gotten out of their seat.  Then the next thing we see is B hurrying back to her seat from the toilet.  Turns out B is such a frequent flier she had taken it upon herself to skip the video and go for a quick bathroom break before take off.  She had singlehandedly managed to completely embarrass herself and piss off everyone else on the plane all at once.  This of course proved very entertaining for L and I, almost as entertaining as my film of choice (Enchanted) which i thoroughly enjoyed!  That was probably the last enjoyable moment of the flight for L before the person on front of her decided to abuse her seat reclining powers and basically crushed L for the entirety of the journey. 

I volunteer as tribute

The Gossip Girl Tour! (Bendels, Constance Billard, The Empire, The Met steps and the famous B and S photoshoot!)

  
 The moral of the story is that you don't really know what you need until you don't have it!

xoxo
Queen G

The Squad Take Islay Day 1

The squad

On Thursday July 17th I woke up at 6am and then proceeded to work a 12 hour shift at work, now usually after my 3rd 12 hour shift of the week I come home, grab a snack, eat it in bed and then go to sleep and sleep for a million years.  On this particular day I returned home from work, grabbed your passport and my hand my rucksack and then B and I jumped in the back seat of S's (a fun friend who was quickly upgraded to a member of Edinburgh's more exclusive friendship group) car.  B and I both chose to sit in the back of the car because neither of us were feeling brave enough to battle with the constant intimidation that S radiates quite yet.  We journeyed to the far off kingdom of almost Glasgow to L's house and then after some very tense board game playing we retired to bed for the night next 4ish hours.  at 04.45 B's alarm sounded and she raised like a phoenix from the ashes to get ready for the great journey that lay ahead of us.  I was so relieved that I didn't have to get up yet and so I went back to sleep feeling #blessed.  At 04.53 my alarm sounded and I got up feeling far more refreshed than I had 8 minutes previous.  We had to leave L's house at 05.15 to start our journey and so at

#IWillGoDownWithThisShip

05.30 we were finally ready to go, 15 minutes late classic us.  We made a quick petrol and snack stop and I bought 2 multi packets of crisps, Irn Bru, a fun duck wrap and then panic bought belvita bars (#regrets).  I had been given full control of the music for the trip which was both exciting and terrifying since great power comes with great responsibility.  We started with some Leighton Meester to soothe us gently into the day, and let me tell you this: that song really builds.  By the end of Blue Afternoon we were all excited and ready to partay.  We were finally on our way, spirits high and music deafeningly loud. 

Thar not one whale blows

During the 3 hour drive to the ferry docks we learned many things such as that Loch Lomand is far larger than any of us had first imagined, that I am a far better DJ than any of them had first imagined and that S is actually far less intimidating that we had first imagined.  We were the first people to arrive for the Ferry, L and S went into the ticket office to collect the tickets and B (bladder bursting due to the fact she had chugged like 6 Pepsi Maxes during the drive) and I (bladder bursting because I hadn't peed in 3 hours and I'm only human) went to the rest room.  During the 30 minute wait for the Ferry to arrive I yelled "THARRR SHE BLOWWWWWS!!" more times than anyone had hoped for, by the 30th yell I think the saying had grown on everyone and they had learned to love it.  

Eventually after we had done our waiting, 12 years of it, in Azkaban it was Ferry Ho! thar she legit blows and it was time to board.  Driving onto the ferry was kind of terrifying due to the fact that S couldn't 100% guarantee she would manage to drive over the ramp and that there was a slight possibility we were all going to end up at the bottom of the ocean - sleeping with the fishes if you will.   Spoiler Alert: we made it.  We were going on a trip in our favourite ocean ship!  I sat by the window eyes pealed with keen anticipation for whales.  Along with attempted whale watching we spent the boat journey playing card games and charades.  At 10.30 L accused B of rigging the cards for snap so that she would

#FerryWankers

win, B had not rigged the cards.  At 10.45 I had still not seen a whale.  At 11.00 I decided i would make my 11.11 wish to see a whale.  At 11.11 I wished to see a whale. We also spent this time discussing what havoc we were going to inflict on Islay because The four of us always come home from nights out with some kind of crazy story and without a fun/outrageous story we aren't satisfied with how the night went. 15 minutes before arriving in Islay we decided to ascend the staircase to B deck aka deck 6 and we spent our final moments on the boat outside on the highest deck recreating scenes from Titanic, looking out for the whales and continuing the "THAR SHE BLOWS, WHALE HO!" chant.   Finally we were approaching Islay and it was time to return to the car, the thing is that B deck was far more slippy than you'd first imagine and so upon descending the stairs back to the car L fell not ones but twice and I couldn't contain my laughter... and then mid laugh I slipped, fell and hit the cold hard ground.  Now nobody on the ferry could contain their laughter and I felt like a fool.  I tried to keep my head held high and I told myself to conceal don't feel. 

We had no idea where we were going once we got off of the ferry. The initial 'lets just drive around and see what happens it will be so fun' mood wore off quicker than you would first expect when an hour later the four of us were lost in Islay with no signal and no idea how to get to J's house.  Our mainland brains were evidently ignorant to ways of island life and we had just assumed that Islay would be so small that we would

L recreating the great fall
of July 2015

just coincidentally end up at J's house if we drove long enough, this obviously was not the case.  We ended up in a small village and it was clear that everyone else in this village knew each other, this was made clear when we walked into a small cafe and everyone customer stopped eating to stare at us, open mouthed, cutlery dropping to the ground, young children pointing and the odd person taking a picture of the fresh new mainland meat.  I was sure we were going to die in that town, I felt like I was in one of those horror movies and I was certain that it was the case that once you visit the island you never leave the island.  Immediately I missed the busy rush of the city where nobody knows anyone, nobody wants to know anyone, nobody has time for anyone, and the only communication you have with strangers is mumbling profanities at them when they bump into you on the streets.  We found an empty hotel restaurant and we sat timidly at the table, on edge the whole time.  We ordered a chicken burger (minus veggie B who had some soup) and B, L and I ordered a vodka cranberry or vodka lemonade (fun fact, L received a glass of flat lemonade and this almost pushed her over the edge right into tear town).  At lunch we also made a deal with eachother, we were city girls through and through and if any of us showed too much of a taking to Islay life they were going to be asked to leave the friend group - in fact they wouldn't be allowed back onto the ferry with the rest of us.  Just to be extra precocious we decided that every time one of us aid something really nice about Islay or showed any indication that they wanted to be a farmer we would punch them (this was put into action several times over the weekend because Islay was very beautiful and it was hard not to comment on it and yes if S, B or L read this post they do have full permission to punch me, lightly, because of that last comment).

Pano

2 hours after arriving on Islay we finally made it J's house.  It was raining - some would call it a perfect storm.  Luckily we were privileged enough to earn ourselves a nice warm bed for a much needed afternoon nap.  After the most wonderful sleep ever, we rose like phoenixes once again and headed down to the kitchen for some baked potatoes.  B (not so stealthily) fed one of J's dogs food off of her plate and my plate while I (not so stealthily) filmed her) and then after dinner we  proceeded to accompany J to decorate the hall for the party which was taking place the next night - #friendgoals.  After a fleeting period of helpfulness L, B and I began to practice our dance moves and Bar Mitzvah lifts in the hall while J, S, B and M (B and M are J's friends who had just arrived...) continued to be productive.  We then returned to J's abode and had a quick whiskey tasting before retiring to bed for the night.  Before drifting off to sleep we lay together, four in a bed, recapping our day, sharing anxieties about sleeping in the marquee the next night during a perfect storm (#Marqueewindhorrorstories) and just generally keeping B awake as she tried desperately to sleep.  

I'M AN ADULT!!
#ONTHEGROUNDDD

I'm trying to conceal my disappointment about the whales

What would happen the next day?  Would we meet Hansel the horse?  What would happen at the party?  Would we get to see the beach?  Would we do something stupid at the party and get banished from Islay forever?  Would we ever be allowed to leave Islay or were we officially lifers?

All of this and more will be answered in part 2 which is coming at some point or another although I'm only human and I have to work since my job pays and this does not (there's not much justice in the world)

The moral of the story is never base your life happiness on the amount of whales you spot on a ferry trip to Islay because you'll only be left feeling empty and dispirited.

Until next time,
xoxo
Queen G

I DIED DEAD. RIP ME.

Hello children, I'm back with the wonderful and highly anticipated story of my 1989 World Tour experience!  

British Summertime Festival 2015

On Thursday June 25th my little sister came through to Edinburgh and we each got desperately needed hair cuts, we then proceed to browse the shops and wander the streets of Edinburgh in the torrential rain which lead to me contracting the great flu epidemic of 2015.  After opting out of attending an evening showing of Jurassic World in exchange for a Domino's pizza in bed, I packed my bags and then attempted to be the quiz master for one of our (sometimes weekly, sometimes daily, sometimes hourly) flat quizzes.  Tensions ran high when B went off on one of her classic ADHD episodes, L (over Skype) failed to commit fully to the quiz, S didn't participate at all and I desperately tried to hold the whole thing together for the sake of J who was departing from the flat forever after that night.  Anyway, B won the quiz and then it was finally time for bed.  I didn't sleep a wink that night.  My alarm was set for 7.30am but I had given up on sleep completely long before then and so as soon as I heard my sister get up at 7am I got up too.  We did a final check that we had everything we needed, attempted to have some toast but I was too excited to eat and then I said an emotional goodbye to B.  We made a food stop at Marks and Spencer's and then boarded the train to begin our adventure.  The train ride consisted of us wasting our 3G, story sharing, listening to our Ipods and snacking.  

GG

When we arrived in King's Cross our first stop was the bathroom, our second stop was platform 9 and 3 quarters.  We said nah to the photo op at the platform because the line was too long and our bags were heavy so we went to the gift shop and made a 10/10 purchase of some Harry Potter top trumph cards.  We sorted out our Oyster Cards and then got the underground to our hotel.  Fun fact: our hotel was one street away from Nandos and yet we never did eat there which is weird and kind of sad #cheekyNandos.  

Big Ben Yo

We got to the hotel and collected our keys, couldn't get the room door to open so we went to get help.  The man from reception got the door open easily first try and I felt like a bit of an idiot but after that minor hurdle we were ready to explore the city.  My sister (Also G so we will refer to her as younger G from here on out) needed to go to Urban Outfitters so we hopped on the underground and then walked from the stop at Big Ben to Urban, it was so sunny and warm.  Naturally after visiting Urban we were in the mood to watch Chris #Ladbod Pratt fight some dinosaurs so we went to the cinema and ordered a hella big popcorn and sprite and we watched 2 hours of straight man vs dino and dino vs dino, what more can you ask for?  Anyway after Jurassic Pratt we went to Ripley's Believe It Or Not, took one look at the price and then left with out heads held high and our bank accounts untouched.  We eventually went back to the hotel, had a few snacks, put on the music channel and played Top Trumphs. 
 In the morning I woke up early but lay in bed until 8.30am I proceeded to read my book, use the wifi and try to get younger G to wake up too.  She got out of bed around 10am and we were out of the hotel by 11.30ish.  I was starving by this point as all I had eaten since Thursday was a Hoisin Duck wrap and some snacks, when we got to Green Park we went to boots and I got another Duck wrap (#creatureofhabit) and we took our food to the park and sat in the grass soaking up the sun.  I wanted to leave by 1.30pm, 2pm at the VERY latest because entry for Hyde Park started at 3.30, we ventured down to Buckingham Palace and then at 2 we headed back to the underground.  It was at this moment that younger G informed me she needed to go to Primark.

OMG LOOK AT THAT TAY

I DIED. DED.  We raced through the streets of London passed crowds of people, some of whom were wearing TSwizzle costumes which only added to my panic.  84 years later we reached Primark and younger G grabbed some clothes, we paid and then raced to the nearest underground.  Eventually we got back to the hotel just before 4pm and I could no longer feel anything because I was for sure dead, life ended, lying on the cold hard ground.  We got ready, mood tense tensions high, outfit drama aplenty.  I wished I had taken my cat dress, younger G couldn't find anything to wear.  In the end my outfit was hella fun and we started the long walk to Hyde Park, unsure if we were even walking the right way.  We arrived at Hyde Park at 5pm, we had missed Vance Joy but all was well when we were handed glowing bracelets that were "a gift from Taylor".  After spending £40 on a fun Tshirt, programme and a presh bracelet we started the battle to get to the front of the stage.  John Newman was playing and we were tripping over all of the people who were sitting on the ground as we tried our best to get as close as possible to Tay.  Eventually we made a shocking discovery... with our general admission tickets we couldn't get anywhere near the stage so instead we had to settle for 2 rows from the front of general admission (luckily I have perfect vision #blessed so I could see the stage).  I knew at that moment that any dreams of reliving the Taylor Swift arm stroking extravaganza of 2011 were #DED but I was just so happy to be breathing the same air as Taylor.  Ellie Goulding performed and she was 10/10 as she always is.  World War Tay almost broke out after Ellie left the stage when the great push to get closer the the front began, people were shoving and there was screaming, crying and perfect storms.  It was miserable and magical and I wasn't about to give up my space for anyone!  Fun Fact:  there was also a strange lady who was handing out business cards, she was there alone and throughout the night she kept talking to these 2 12 year old girls and giving them life advice as Taylor was performing...) 

IM SO HAPPY IM GOING TO DIE

Then the first few beats of Welcome To New York played and it was at that very moment I went into a full on seizure right there on the ground in Hyde Park #RIPME1995-2015.  Taylor was wearing this amazing skirt that can only be described as #SkirtGoals and she had hella good hair.  I cannot even describe what it is like to see Taylor Swift in person.  Some words I would use to try to describe it would be magical, glitter, flawless, angel, smooth, tachycardic and #leggoals.  I've seen her super close up in Belfast but even from a distance in London it was enough to put me straight into cardiac arrest.  She performed every song from 1989 minus Wonderland.  When I activated my flashing bracelet ("a gift from Taylor") I felt powerful, I felt like I had just saved the world and made it home in time for dinner and then found out that we were having popcorn with a side of popcorn for that dinner whilst watching titanic and stroking kittens.  When Taylor walked along the catwalk part of the stage I tried to use sheer willpower to draw her closer and closer to me, when she flew up into the air like a real life unicorn princess I just stared at her and truly understood the chorus of Lovefool for the first time (so I cry, I pray and I beg LOVE ME LOVE ME SAY THAT YOU LOVE ME TAYLOR SAY IT SAY YOU LOVE ME).  Everything was perfect, every song a hit and I was the happiest girl in the whole kingdom.

Wink

AND THEN STYLE
So Taylor is all like singing Style and then next minute GiGi 'SLAY-Z' Hadid and Kendall 'Daughter of Caitlyn' Jenner come on stage and I was like is this real life, then Serena Williams came on stage and everyone was all like oh cool its the tennis lady. Then KARLIE FUCKING KLOSS and Martha 'she was in Bad Blood also' Hunt came on stage and I was like there is no way that this is real that is Karlie Kloss KARLIE KLOSS.  And then, just in case there were any survivors left she finally brought out Cara '#eyebrowgoals' Delevingne and that was the end of time, the world imploded and Taylor Swift and her squad were the only survivors.

Squad Goals

 
It was really cute during the Enchanted/Wildest Dreams mashup because when Tay went back to Enchanted the crowd continued singing Wildest Dreams and it was so celestial.
The rest of the show was hella good and then to end the show she played Shake It Off which is my all time favourite song to dance to when I'm drunk and so it had some weird alcohol effect on me and I felt wasted and everyone else in Hyde Park seemed to feel the same and it was one huge party and everyone was jumping and shaking and the best part was when everyone got so sassy and shouted out the MY EX MAN BROUGHT HIS NEW GIRL FRIEND... part and I have never experienced anything like that before!  It was honestly just the best night ever, I wish I could have gone to see it again and I will for sure be going to her next tour (Hopefully this time there wont be a huge ticket pre-sale email fail on my part and I'll be able to get tickets that allow me closer to the stage)
I'll continue to do everything in my power to meet Taylor, after Hyde Park my 7 year Taylor Swift obsession has just escalated.  I am so glad I was one of the 65K people at that show.  R. I. P. ME. 

Best night ever

The moral of the story is that Taylor's wink after she sang "his hands are in my hair, his clothes are in my room" was much cheekier than you'd first imagine!

xoxo
Queen G