As you may remember on Saturday the 7th Queen G and her cohorts set off on a magical adventure to feed the most soothing of all gods creatures, the ducks. Now i bet that since reading that post you have been absolutely dying to find out what happened next, it's probably kept you up at night and you have felt an emptiness deep within your soul. Fear not, because I am now going to give you the answers you have desperately been seeking!
The story left off with Queen G feeling so happy to have spent the late afternoon feeding the ducks with two of her favourite friends L and B. However in the words of one of the most influential television characters of all time, Cyrus Rose, this activity was simply
Gazing to the sky the 3 girls noticed how beautiful it looked and they were suddenly struck with a fantastic idea, they would climb the mountain that stood before them to watch the sunset. Due to the last minute decision to watch the sunset the girls suddenly realised that they were in a race against time as the sun was setting fast and they still had a whole mountain to tackle! They mutually decided to go rouge and leave the official path. They didnt have time to wind their way around the mountain track, thy would have to head straight up even though the climb might kill them! G instantly regretted wearing her Ugg boots as they left the track and began squelching their way through the long grass and rabbit droppings! Aware of the time limit on their mission they began to run, which was hard for G because she was 90% sure she had asthma. The climb was hard but they made it, just in time to see the most beautiful view of the year so far!
The girls contemplated how even after hundreds of years when they were dead and gone Edinburgh would still be there and there would still be beautiful skies and sunsets and a million other lame things such as that (B may have even shed a tear). Then G introduced the girls to prancercise and taught L how to descend a mountain without falling on your butt. Then of course like in any 21st century fairy tale they concluded their spiritual journey with a photo shoot
It was on their way back down the mountain that the real troubles began. You see everyone knows that 3 girls alone on top of a mountain surrounded by bushes and shrubs is the setting of like 73% of horror movies out there. G, L and B were certain that there were cannibals in the bushes, or at least G was and her anxieties were rubbing off on her cohorts. They walked swiftly back down the mountain, again not sticking to the official paths because yolo. Suddenly they came face to face with a sheer drop, one wrong move and it would be certain death! They were in quite a situation as they could not climb back up the mountain otherwise G would surely have an asthma attack but they also didn't want to fall off of the mountain. B and L cautiously scaled the mountain side eventually making their way safely to the bottom. G was still stuck, she carefully maneuvered her way down the slippery rocks, just when she thought she had made it her foot feel away from under her. She came crashing down the the ground, it was a downfall that outshone even that of the classic 2007(ish) Lindsay Lohan downward spiral. Anyway, the real moral of the story is always wear sturdy footwear for you never know where the day might take you. Sturdy footwear for a sturdy soul
Until next time, over and out
xoxo,
Queen G
No comments:
Post a Comment