Things I'm Lovin' Right Now

Heyyyyyaaaaa.  So I'm back, I'm blogging and I'm boogieing.  I thought I would talk about some of the things that I am loving right now, and let me tell you this:  there are an infinite amount of things that this gal loves but only a few lucky contenders will be making it onto the list.  

Netflix addiction summed up in 1 gif

1. With the weather already turning to a dismal mess and university due dates looming closer and closer I have found myself becoming increasingly distracted with, arguably, the number one thing that I am loving right now:  Netflix and chill lol jk nobody loves me.  There is a drastic difference between being in a committed relationship with your Netflix account and having an actual obsessed, crazy, addiction.  It will probably come as no surprise to hear that my current relationship with my Netflix is the latter and as of late I have found myself viewing TV late into the night and then rolling over first thing in the morning and starting all over again.  I have all of the symptoms of addiction and after doing some extensive research on Lookatyourdrinking.com (lol what dissertation?) I have come to realize that by substituting the word drink with Netflix every now and then the webpage could have been written about me:

1. Tolerance - You're able to drink binge watch episodes more and more, and you need more to get the same effect.
2. You drink watch more episodes for longer than you planned to (loss of control)
3. More and more of your time is taken up by drinking watching Netflix and recovering from drinking watching Netflix.
4. You have fewer or no more social contacts life and you work and enjoy leisure activities less or not at all due to drinking watching Netflix

I promised myself after my last relapse (the great Orange Is The New Black addiction of 2014, closely following the infamous Gossip Girl addiction of the same year) that I would never let myself get this way again.  I carefully distanced myself from Netflix for a while, I went outside and breathed in the fresh air and reminded myself of what it meant to be alive.  I watched Grey's Anatomy and How I Met Your Mother while carefully alternating between shows just as I started to care about one of them and it worked like magic for a while until

When the obsession hits hard

one day I began the next episode of How I Met Your Mother and then BOOM!! just like that it hit me... I cared! It all happened so quickly and took me by such surprise because I am usually so emotionless, dark and twisty (shout out to Meredith Grey) and uncaring.  But I could not deny it and before I knew it I cared so much.  And so I have baracaded myself in my room and binged just about 3 seasons of HIMYM (that's how the cool kids type it) in little more than 2 weeks.  It's not my fault that I care more about those fun friends than my dissertation, maybe if my dissertation was abundant in fun catch phrases, running jokes, Canadian teen pop sensations and adorkably adorable guys then I would have made more progress but as it stands just now How I Met Your Mother sits at the top of my list of things I want to do with my day and my dissertation sits around 3 from the bottom - beating out only punching Taylor Swift in the face (I WOULD NEVER!) and killing myself.  

Anyway, the positives from this situ are that I have been able to compile a list of ways to make my life more like a sitcom and I have found a fun Halloween costume for 2015 - Robin Sparkles, eh!

Stepping into Halloween 2015 like "Lets go to the mall, eh!"

bagels.  I cannot stop eating bagels.

2. So one day I woke up and realized that a part of my soul had died.  I came to this conclusion after I realized that I just wasn't feeling my homemade soup anymore (what the fuck right!?).  I just wasn't all about that soup life anymore and it was because I had found a new love.  As one door closes another opens and in this case it was a big ole bag of bagels behind the new door.  I don't know when I decided bagels were the new hip, fun and cool lunch in town but I fell hard for the bagels and after stealing a couple from the old flatmates I finally made my first ever bagel purchase today.  Perhaps I became such a bagel enthusiast when I decided to change my personality.  I decided I needed guidelines for how I was going to live out my life as a newly independent, unemotional  and (as always) dark and twisty muthafucka.  I drew a spider diagram split into 6 sections: 

1. Personality traits to keep (Including fun, funky, popular, cool, scheming)
2. Personality traits to ditch (Including needy, codependent, caring too much about certain things)
3. Things to do (including buying a fun hat, blog more, accept that I can be alone, take a break from making soup, write a song...)
4. Things to don't (including let people see you cry, seek out the company of others 24/7, ask for help writing your song)
5. Potential new catch phrases (including "Oh calamity!" "Look at the Haim!" "Is that the Haim already?"
6. Potential new interests ( Including Bagels, baking, tennis, grave robbing, poetry and the ducks... like feed them more and talk about them and stuff)

dark and twisty, dark and cloudy, and the namesake of Tays first cat!

I just love cats.

I decided I would channel some of my favourite female protaganists:

• Alice from Alice In Wonderland (what a curious little devil and she owned a cat)
• Hermione Granger (Get all studious and stuff, so far this hasn't worked.  Also she owned a cat)
• Robin Sherbatsky (Spend more time focusing on my career and myself and being more IDGAF, eh! She owned a dog but still)
• Blair Waldorf (Every day I ask myself: what would Blair Waldorf do?  Be the best thats what she would do! Had a cat in the books)
• Meredith Grey (Dark and twists init! Namesake of Tays cat)
• Holly Golightly (she had a cat and shit and if there is one thing I love in this world it is cats!!!  I love cats so much.  I could talk about cats all day.  I.  Love.  Cats!)

So to sum up... the point is I love bagels now

3. Music is like food for the soul (Queen G., 2015. youcancallmequeeng.blogspot.co.uk [Online]).  

rocking it

The only thing better than music is free music!  So recently I have been lovin' Spotify and all my new fun playlists: Shirley Bushy, Snoop Zebra, Fourth Year Get Psyched Mix... the list goes on but I shall not!).  Anyhoo, I have been thoroughly enjoying Saint Motel - My Type is especially #relatable ("You know you're just my type, you got a pulse and you are breathing" I feel ya, I love boys, I am so alone).  I've been enjoying a bit of Frank Sinatra also, what a guy!

It's hella fun browsing the different mood sections and coming across songs that I had forgotten existed, especially ones that make me feel nostalgic and shit.  If I had to give a song recommendation it would have to be Magnets by Lorde though, I have repeated myself until I'm blue in the face but I'll say it again: Lorde is far sillier than you would first imagine!  One day I would like to commit my day, and maybe even my life, to our Lorde and saviour and have her teach me the ways of a New Zealand teen pop sensation.  Perhaps one day I can meet all of the teen pop sensations of the world and start a band.  They can sing the theme tune for my new TV show I would like to produce: Wine Moms who all look similar and solve crimes together (starring Olivia Benson, Fiona Bruce, Eleanor Waldorf and Veronica Hastings and guest starring L's mum Cazzz because although she doesn't look like them she gives of just the right cool, calm, collected and terrifying vibe as the other ladies.)

dem moves

I no longer know where I am going with this blog post or my life so I'm going to say a sorrowful "goodbye" and an enthusiastic "I'll see you soon" because that's it from this very unfocused blog post.

The moral of the story is that at the mall having fun is what it's all aboot.

Until next time

xoxo,

Queen G!

September Summary

Puling out your get psyched mix tape like

Good day people of the blogisphere.  I am currently sitting in my bed, pajama clad, listening to my 'morning vibes' spotify playlist  (some would call it my very own Barney Stinson-esque get psyched mix).  This playlist is particularly fun because, despite it's name, I have listened to this selection of music at just about every time of day imaginable bar mornings.  Anyway, it's 11.30pm and my morning vibes are plentiful all thanks to this strong, select community of songs.  It has also just occurred to me that in less than an hour it will be the last day of September and this has led to take a long, hard look into the pond of reflection.  
Let the reminiscence begin.

September began with me drowning in a deep swamp of post New York depression.  A depression that could only be cured by spending money that I was supposed to be saving on clothes, boots and fun new stationary.  Myself and B had come to the conclusion that the only way we were going to survive the fiery pit of hell that is our university was to go into the new academic year feeling fierce, fun and fashionable.  We were going to go into the year as new people!  Then when the old faithful bus pulled up at the university bus stop on the dreaded first day back and we were forced to accept our cruel fate and sulk our way to the lecture theatre and fight the overwhelming desire to off ourselves we could take one look in the mirror and at least pretend that we were sophisticated, well put together young ladies.  My return from holiday also resulted in my return to work which brought about a strange turn of events:  I turn on the CD player one day because music is fun, therapeutic and because I wanted to and it just happened to be a Frank Sinatra CD that was in the machine... before I knew it the Frank Sinatra obsession of September twenty fifteen began #StrangersInTheNight.

Wish I could leave today to be a part of it

Shopping filled the void well and kept me from staring at pictures of New York/Watching absolutely any film or TV show set in that marvelous, beautiful city of dreams whilst crying into my Laduree napkins and rolling around in a pile of my New York City attraction tickets which I had kept as souvineers.  However, shopping can only solve so much and when shopping had done everything it could it was time to move on to the next method... Alcohol.  It was time to assemble The Whale Wankers (for new readers: the whale wankers is both a potential name for Sea World employees considering what the devastating and eye opening masterpiece of film Blackfish revealed about certain tasks they are required to undertake as servers of Satan and the name of the squad which consists of myself, B, L and S... It's a long story... when S isn't around we become The Taymoms #simples).  The Whale Wankers met for cocktails and clubbing.  

The Whale Wankers

Queen G and B after spotting The Calvin Harris

When we checked the drinks menu the first thing that caught my eye was what some would call destiny!  A drink called The Calvin Harris.  Now anyone who knows anything about The Whale Wankers knows that Calvin Harris is a deity to us.  We want to be him, we want to be with him, we want to take him home to meet our mothers...  Predictably 4 'Calvin Harris's' were purchased and then following that 2 more cocktails were purchased each (for myself they were The CrayCray and The Basic Beach but The Calvin Harris was abundantly better than everything that followed it, naturally).  After cocktails we went to the club and we danced all night because when in Rome.  S decided to stay at the club after we left, B fell asleep in the taxi and L and I (in said taxi) went to the McDonald's drive thru where I quizzed the employee on his knowledge of current BBC newsreaders (namely Fiona Bruce #MyHero).  I was most unimpressed about his knowledge and as soon as the transaction was complete we got the hell out of dodge and back to our flat.  We tried to get the taxi driver to keep B because she was asleep and only the strong survive in this friendship but he said it was against the Taxi Driver rules/laws/code of conduct.  L and I sat and gorged on deliciously disgusting fast food while watching Gossip Girl (L watched while I talked over the whole episode about how much I love Chuck Bass and Leighton Meester) and then I "woke a human being" (a phrase I chose to repeat over and over again in a whole lot of snapchat videos to B and L) to retrieve my Ed Westwick cardboard cut out from the room said human being was sleeping in #noregrets.  

Family Goals

A few days passed and then before I knew it, too soon, my alarm sounded to inform me that the summer was officially over and uni was back in business.  The first week flew by considering I was only in class for 2 days.  On those days I was told I looked "sophisticated" "older" "pretty" and I was complimented on my new Kate Spade bag from New York, my Miss Selfridge coat and on how fun my summer holiday looked (from the Facebook pictures of course).  

When you have to go back to university 

Team Gossip Squirrel 

After uni started back the weeks became a routine of uni Monday-Thursday, Friday off, working 12 hours on Saturday and Sunday.  In between this monotonous, dull, drab, struggle of survival we found time to attend a pub quiz which was hella fun -more alcohol was consumed except this time in sensible amounts and we came 6th overall which I think was a not bad effort for our first time.  I also managed to get through a crazy amount of How I Met Your Mother and have become absolutely addicted, which will probably result in a noticable reduction in productivity in post class studying but as I always say: when in Rome.  And you know what they love to do in Rome?  Watch How I Met Your Mother (probably because who would love to do that?).  Anyway, September has drawn to a strong and steady end as Leighton Meester's baby's birth was confirmed, Taylor Swift continued to dominate the charts, the world and my heart, cats still exist and are still 100% fluffy, the sun has returned to Scotland, I finished reading the first Sisterhood Of The Travelling Pants book, I've been making soup, Scream Queens finally aired and  Fiona Bruce returned to my screen looking as Olivia Benson/Veronica Hastings/Eleanor Waldorf as ever.  

My plans for October are to join the gym, finally settle on a Halloween costume (it's between Holly Golightly because I love Audrey Hepburn and plus cat or Wednesday Addams because thats fun and why not?), pay back my parents, host the Halloween party of the century, make a start on my dissertation and most importantly stay fun, fierce and funky.  

On a side note I finished reading Big Little Lies by Liane Moriarty in September and it was so good and I think you should all read it! 

The moral of the story is you can't win a participation award if you're not willing to participate.

Xoxo
Queen G

And for reference here are a list of songs that have played in my Morning Vibes playlist as I've composed this blog post:
Young Blood - The Naked And Famous
I Want You Back  - Jackson Five
Magnets - Lorde and Disclosure 
You Make My Dreams - Daryl Hall and John Oates
Yes Sir, I Can Boogie - Baccara
Weight of Living part 2 - Bastille
What Do You Mean? - Justin Bieber 
Blue - Marina And The Diamonds
All My Love - Ariana Grande and Major Lazer
Pumpin Blood - NONONO
Midnight Movies - Saint Motel
Something Stupid - Robbie Williams and Nicole Kidman
Tongue Tied - Grouplove
Marvin Gaye - Charlie Puth and Meghan Trainor
American Pie - Don McLean

Is Ed OK?

Okay so if you know me at all then you'll know that I love Ed Westwick so much!  But what used to be feelings of admiration and oh-my-god-I-want-to-marry-you have now turned to feelings of concern and they aren't too far from those of a concerned mother.  You see Ed used to be one of the greats, he was the Jack Dawson, king of the world standing Titanic's bow, of teen dramas.  Ed portrayed Chuck Bass in the CW's Gossip Girl.  Chuck was a boy billionaire who thought of nothing other than himself, sex and money and throughout the 6 years that Gossip Girl reined the small screen Chuck grew and developed as a character (Fun Fact: during this time he undoubtedly fell in love with Leighton Meester but it was an unrequited love, how tragic) .  Chuck was one of the most popular characters from the show and he initiated many young teens sexual awakenings and to this day, largely thanks to Netflix, he continues to be on many youngsters I-would-bang lists.  

So how does the actor who brought thee Chuck Bass to life, a star of such a successful teen drama end up having to send out a change of address card because he's moving away from cloud 9!?  On the surface Ed seems to be doing just fine but let me tell you this he is not.  He is the Ross Geller of fine, and to all you poor unfortunate souls who for whatever godawful reason haven't seen Friends 'Ross Geller fine' is not fine at all!  

Item Number 1

Who posts this type of picture of themselves?

So like Gossip Girl is over, the movie role offers aren't exactly rolling in and you're starting to get a bit nervous about that fact that you perhaps shouldn't have bought Jessica Szoewhogivesacrap that expensive book about how not to cheat on your boyfriend because you're going broke.  I mean I could see how that could do things to a guy but I wouldn't say that setting up an international T-shirt business is the normal, natural response.   And sure the tshirts are for charity and sure it's all fun and games but like the way that Ed promotes them seems a little desperate and a bit like a cry for help.  Almost as if he truly believes that he is Chuck Bass and there is only the one of him swimming around in the sea, desperately looking for Blair Waldorf and wondering why she doesn't call, doesn't write... why she's living with that guy from that show, you know the one, the less extreme Gossip Girl of California.

Item Number 2

"Gotta look where you going" -
Ed Westwick 12 May 2015

So again I would say that really there are two options of what happened here.  Either A) Ed sat on  his phone and made this fun edit of himself or B) He google image searched himself and saved this picture off of the internet.  Next he decided to upload this picture to his Facebook, twitter and instagram pages with the caption which is below.  I mean I don't know if it's meant to be an inspirational quote or some legit life advice.  Personally I think it's a shout out to Adam Brody like either he is saying "yo man I'm coming for you, get away from my girl" or he is saying "one minute you're happily married, living on the upper east side with a child and the next thing you know some punk steals your girl".  I don't even know but it just doesn't seem like the kind of thing you upload of yourself.  Ed, oh ed.

Item Number 3

Are you guys on Twitter?
Find me there @EdWestwick or link in bio

So then Ed uploads this fun selfie because that's what everyone on the brink of a breakdown does.  Oh my life is falling apart, but first let me take a selfie!  Honestly when a screen legend, THE STAR OF CHALET GIRL, needs to beg for followers that's when you know!  I can't even say anything else.  Except at least this proves that, even if only every now and then, Ed knows that he is Ed Westwick and not Chuck Bass.  Because L and I are genuinely concerned that sometimes he struggles to tell what is real and who he really is.





Item Number 4

Thinking...

And finally there is this picture, captioned "Thinking".  And honestly I think this is sort of #relatable because honestly Ed, you got me thinking too.  You got me wondering about what you're thinking, and what you make of what's happening to you.  Are you ok?  

Please call me when you have found yourself, I understand we can't be together just now.  You can't love others until you love yourself.  



I cant help but wonder:  Are Ed's social media accounts being run by 14 year old fan girls?  



The moral of the story is somewhere beyond the sea I'll be waiting for Ed once he is ready to say goodbye to the Bass, the only Bass in the sea according to his Tshirts.

Yes of course I own a tshirt

XOXO
Queen G

Signs That You Are Crazy Tired

Hi guys, so lately I have been thinking a lot about tiredness and the effects that it has on your physical and mental state.  Sometimes there are clear sign that you are exhausted that go beyond that "oh hey I'm kind of tired" feeling that every one of us knows all too well (shout out to Taylor Swift who wrote a 10/10 hit song named All Too Well.)

Anyway, as an advocate of the people I think it's necessary for me to write this post highlighting some of the main signs and symptoms, or you know just some crazy things that you do, when you are well and truly in need of climbing into bed with your teddy.

Everyone's fave Vampire Diaries character

Emotional turmoil
You know those days when you stay up until like 4am to watch "just one more episode" of Grey's Anatomy or Pretty Little Liars or whatever the cool kids are watching these days.  Then you close your eyes, snuggle in and before you know it your 7am alarm goes off alerting you it's time to start the day.  You are drowning in a deep ocean of regret and you can't help but hear Hermione Granger's voice in your head declaring "what an idiot".

I'm so sorry H.

 Anyway the tiredness you feel at that very moment has absolutely nothing on what lies ahead of you.  What this day has in store for you is tears.  Tears when you watch a video of puppies because "they are just so cute!".  Tears when you can't decide what fun snacks to buy at the supermarket (this is how the great cheese and onion vs salt and vingegar debate of 2015 came to be).  Tears when Shadow and Peter get reunited at the end of Homeward Bound (although you can't help but feel like that would send you into a breakdown even after the recommended 8 hours).  Everything anyone says to you is a personal attack, everyone is conspiring against you, you just feel so down... Girl, you tired!

You are legally blind

I cannot see.

Now I cannot speak for people who have impaired vision to start with because I myself have perfect 20/20 vision (#blessed) but when I'm tired my eyes do all sorts of crazy stuff.  Reading the numbers on the bus is virtually impossible, this has caused my poor sleepy self to have almost missed the bus home on more occasions than I'd like to admit to.  There is also a lot of staring.  Because I can no longer see the length of a corridor or hall HD style as I am used to I can no longer make out peoples faces.  Because I know I can normally see their faces perfectly, and because I have sleepy brain working full time, I tend to think that if I just stare at them long enough then my eyes will focus and I'll see them clear as day.  Then there is teary eyes.  This is when everyone thinks that you are currently sailing around in tear town from the stage above when in reality your eyes are just so heavy and fatigued they keep making it rain, except it's acid rain because it burns. 

Apathy

I feel you

I learned this word in my 3rd year neurology class but I'll give you the definition for free.  Apathy is basically a lack of feeling, interest, motivation etc... Found often in people with frontal lobe damage or in people who are regularly receiving less than their recommended 8 hours/not receiving a good dose of that all important REM sleep.  You know when you just want to lie in bed but you want to watch a film but you can't be bothered but you're hungry but getting food required effort.  You reach for your laptop eventually and open netflix but you cant be bothered to watch that show that you love so much (fun fact: that show for me is Gossip Girl, every time.  If I can't be bothered to watch Gossip Girl I either need some major shut eye or a neurological assessment).  Maybe you'll just go back to sleep, but you can't be bothered to sleep.  You'll go get food, but will you eat cheese and onion crisps or salt and vinegar?  Oh no here comes the tears.  Actually nah, you don't even care about food anymore, you'll just lie here and stare at the wall for a bit.

Making stupid mistakes

Remember even Serena VD Woodsen
Has made mistakes

Okay so let me tell you a story about a dark time in my life.  I was tired for getting up at 4.45 for my 4th 13 hour shift at work.  I shuffled through to the kitchen and took my loaf of Warburtons white bread out of the freezer and removed the heal of the bread.  I walked over the the bin and dumped the loaf in the bin then took the heal to the toaster and put it in to toast.  Then I realised what I had done.  I went back to the bin to confirm that yes I had just thrown out a whole loaf of perfectly good bread.  I stood there staring at it for a while considering putting myself out of my misery and just ending it all then 
and there.  But rather than ending it I grew from it and I learned, like Tyra taught me to.

She was rooting for me.  They were all rooting for me

So there you have it, a lot of useful information for people everywhere.  Blair Waldorf said that sleep was for the weak and while I agree with everything that girl says I do think that there is a time and a place for resisting sleep (such as for a dare, for a Taylor Momsen youtube video binge, as part of a sleepless cult or just for the hell of it to see what would happen).  When you are in school or university, or when you're a working gal bringing in the dolla don't deny yourself a chance for some skin to fur contact with your teddy bear or whatever it is that your'e into (whatever helps you sleep at night, no shade)

The moral of the story is I feel terrible for Edward Cullen 

Ah no I don't, I don't sleep.

Family Reunion

I never claimed to be H2O intolerant 

Last week I returned home to see my family because I haven't been home in ages and my uncle was over visiting from Thailand. 
Basically at these events I always get a flareup of my over excitability and chronic word vomit which ultimately leads to me making a bit of a full of myself and people getting a little fed up when I channel my inner favourite Finding Nemo character -Obnoxious.  
Picture this:  I walk into the house and want to seem fun, friendly and sociable so I flash my winning smile, show off my easy grace with strangers family and launch into my first story of the night (which will always be something completely irrelevant, confusing or plain stupid - a nice foreshadowing of what is to come during the rest of the evening).  I'm sure the first story I told was about how the local shop had recently been robbed of all the meat and now they have hired a security guard to patrol the meat aisle - this story would be told in that classic over excited, high pitched, piercing voice of mine and then as the story ends it will be followed by laughter.  The laughter is there as a queue for everyone to start laughing, in a 'haha am I not just so funny?  Wasn't that story hilarious, please laugh, everything I say is hilarious!'

Spirit animal 

 Kind of way.  After a few fun opinions of the story are vocalised by the family I quickly launch into story 2, then 3 then 4 until someone asks how university is going or some other normal question along those lines.
Of course, when asked these questions I can't just reply with a simple: yes university is going fine thanks or something along these lines.  Rather, I need to tell the whole family about how "yes its fine but" and then tell them about every silly or stupid thing I've done or said that is university related - most of these stories wouldn't even be as bad if it wasn't for the way I tell them.  You see a fun fact about me is that when I tell a story I don't want to just state the facts!  Every story has to be an epic chronicle, an Oscar worthy adventure. 

I've never done this FYI.

Then worst of all is when the word vomit extends to story about nights out... My voice keeps piercing through the room, spitting out every alcohol related story as my brain desperately tries to catch up in time to make some edits to keep the stories more PG and so I don't ruin my pristine reputation.
Basically the night ends with my sister being annoyed and frustrated that she can't get a story out without (unintentional) interruption from me and she is basically sick of the sound of my voice, everyone else feels like they have just been drowning and they have now finally resurfaced and can breathe again and I feel a bit loopy and ready for round 2 - if not for the fact that I have a really sore throat now.  Basically everyone needs time to recover, and when they finally do it will be just in time for me to return to them once again.  

They don't call me the loquacious Queen B for nothing!

The moral of the story is that if I had been in that lifeboat there most definitely

 would have been room for one more because there is no way I would have been able to shut that hole in my face!

I'd be at the bottom of the ocean

xoxo

Queen G

10 Reasons Being A Cat Would Be Better Than Being A Person

Hey guys, so the time finally arrived when my two favourite boys, Harvey the type 2 diabetic kitty and Nacho the inconsistent litter tray user, returned to our apartment!  This was also the week I started on a work placement that required me to wake up at 5am Monday-Friday.  Over this week I thought a lot in the brief period of time between dinner and bed about how many of my problems would be eradicated if I was a cat like Nach and Harv!  Here are the top 10 reason's I'd rather be a cat right now than a real live human girl.

1. No early morning wake up calls from your alarm.  When you're a cat you can sleep any time you want, anywhere you want.
2. Low expectations - the only things people expect from you is for you to go to the bathroom in appropriate places (i.e the litter tray and now the kitchen floor Nacho!) and the occasional hug.
3. You don't have to worry about being late because you don't have anywhere to be... another perk in itself, you don'y even have to leave the house if you don't feel like it.

   

   What I wouldn't give to stay home all day

4. You don't have to make an effort with people when you're tired
5. You don't have to make an effort with people you dont like
6. You don't have to make an effort with people period.

   

   Cat's dont have to do that

7. There is no countdown to the weekend or your next holiday because every day is a holiday
8. You don't have to remember to take food out of the freezer because you get all of your food handed to you on a silver platter.  Or in a nice clean bowl at least.

   

   This is what Harvey looked like pre-diabetes

9. You don't have to plan which meals you're going to have because you eat the same food every day. And you never seem to get bored of it.
10. You have no money worries because you don't need to pay for your food, accommodation or anything else...

    

    Living it up for free

So you see, there really are a lot of perk of being a cute little fluffy feline!  I can't say I don't envy them and how easy their life seems to be.

The moral of the story is that everybody truly does want to be a cat because a cat's the only cat know knows where it's at!

xoxo

Queen G

5 Times My Drunken Words Were Not Sober Thoughts

So there is a saying floating around that seems to be fairly regularly seen to be accurate and true.  This saying is "Drunken words are sober thoughts" or one of the various forms of this saying.  However as a 20 year old girl who does occasionally over indulge in alcoholic beverages I can honestly say that I have regularly not found that to be true.  Maybe that's because I am a full time truth exaggerator at the best of times but regardless, here are 5 times when I personally have found the above saying to be lies and slander.

I do love cats though.

1. Okay so the first time I ever got drunk it hit me like a thousand knifes stabbing me all over my body, I couldn't breathe, couldn't think.  At least, not about anything except how incredibly happy, free confused and lonely I felt.  However, during this night I also tried to tell everyone who would listen, with a fair amount of conviction, that I was and had always been a cat.  Now I may repeatedly fill my head with a whole lot of nonsense every day but I am 98% sure that sober G does not think she is a cat.  


2. I struggle to remember the last time I went on a night out as G.  As soon as the drinks start flowing the spirit of Blair Waldorf emerges from my soul.  Sometimes it resonates only in the form of me telling people on nights out that my name is Blair (Which I will admit, sometimes this is a sober thought).  Other time's I conduct a whole back story about how I lived in New York and how my father left my mother for a 31 year old model, a male model!  Back in the day I would frequently gather an audience, 2 vodka cranberry's into the night, and put on a performance of a lifetime to one of Taylor Swifts many smash hit singles.  Although sometimes I would do this for no reason other than I am partial to a little bit of spotlight and attention. From time to time, back in the day I would perform in order to prove to this audience that I was in fact the on and only Pennsylvania born and raised, guitar strumming songstress.  Much like the cat thing I would also tell people a whole bunch of fun facts about Tay myself and inform them of all the struggles I endured on my journey to becoming a musical sensation!

3. I also have a tendency to do a little exaggeration from time to time after a night out on the town.  For example I may or may not have told L that I was so hungry that if she didn't buy me a chicken burger I was going to die from starvation!  I also may have told her I had broken my toe or else along those lines... In reality it was a tiny cut.

My life in a meme

4.  I have also told a countless amount of people while I'm drunk that I've met Lorde and that she is far sillier in real life than you'd first imagine... I can't honestly say that this ever crossed my mind while sober.  In fact I think I've grown to have a greater appreciation for Lorde now because of the amount of times I told people I loved her when I was drunk when in reality back then I had no opinion of her.

5. And finally I've told so many people that I study film and media when I've been drinking... fun fact: I don't study film and media.

So to summaries.  Either because I am a sober compulsive liar or for some totally different reason I can honestly say that I do not believe you should think of anything that drunken people say to you as their sober thoughts.

The True History Of Edinburgh

Today was a rare beautiful, warm and sunny day in Edinburgh so B and I decided to go for a walk.  It was during our time in our old favourite hang out - The graveyard, that we overheard a Harry Potter tour guide spreading the word of Harry to the masses and we realised that we actually had an abundance of our own Edinburgh fun facts!  We located Lord Voldy's grave and began sharing our fun facts with one another and before long we knew, we really knew that we needed to share these hidden gems with the masses.

Tom Riddell's grave

Firstly we need to take you back to 1996 when two kiwi travelers came to Edinburgh and decided to take part in the graveyard ghost tour, one of them was heavily pregnant at the time.  As it turns out the ghost tour was all a bit too much for the pregnant lady and she went into labour and had to give birth to her daughter in the graveyard gift shop.  She give birth over a cauldron of silliness and decided to name her child after her favourite book character who's name was inspired was a graveyard resident!  She named the baby Lorde, after Lord Voldemort (The E made it more feminine).  Now every Easter - which is the Lordes birthday, Lorde returns to Edinburgh to have a private birthday bash at The Elephant House cafe.

Dorota and Blair namespiration

Speaking of The Elephant House, this is also when a cult classic book series, which then progressed onto a screen series, was written.  The book was, of course, Gossip Girl.  Written by Gillian Flynn, who fun fact: got name inspiration for some of our beloved characters from names on the gravestones in Lorde's cemetery and also from some Edinburgh
streets. 

Blair Waldorf Stree

And on the subject of Gossip Girl, did you know that Leighton Meester was the namespiration for one of our fave character? Meester Chuck!  Before we move on from the graveyard you might be interested to know that it is the favourite hang of Nina Dobrev, she's spent Spring Break here for the past 4 years and she rated it a 10/10, the best graveyard she'd ever visited.
Anyway, if you walk back towards the Royal Mile you'll come to the Grassmarket which you may be interested to know is the most thrown up on street in Edinburgh!  And the grassmarket is just a hop, skip and a jump away from the Royal Mile where if you're lucky you'll see Niall Horan perform a balancing act in between the human statues and buskers. 

Hive is an Edinburgh must see.

So now onto the castle, which some people think was the inspiration for Hogwarts, as you ascend the steps toward the castle you might be interested to know that this was the spot where many famous fictional A's (Amy Pond, Amazing Amy, A from Pretty Little Liars)were named.  As you huff and puff your way up the steps you'll be in the same position as many famous writers and as they lost their breath's and fought off their asthma the inspiration just hit them! "huffff, ahhh, pufff, ahhh, ahhh amyyyy!"

So there you have it, Edinburgh has a lot of hidden gems to offer, just be careful you dont wander too far and end up crossing the Edinburgh-Japan border.  Also don't forget to stop to get a picture on the steps of the Met! 

Queen G and L on the Met steps

The Story Of The One And Only Unicorn Princess

For Christmas on my 11th year I got a new pony, this was an extremely practical gift because horse back has always been my preferred method of travel!  Since I was 5 years old I'd ride my pony everywhere; to school, to the swamp, to my

#TotesAdorbs

castle on a cloud (where, fun fact, crying at all is not allowed! Not on my castle on a cloud!).  My new pony was called Surprise and she made all of the other ponies on the yard look like Darth Vader next to Sunshine Barbie!

We first hit a snag when it turned out that dear old Surprise had about as much energy as I did- and that, my dear readers, is about as much energy as a humble sloth!  I mean Surprise wouldn't even canter the whole way round the area without stopping when I first got her.  We hit our second snag when I discovered one day, mid trek, that Surprise had roughly 1 million fears and her greatest fear of all was cows... I should probably explain that I kept her on a dairy farm at this point in time so this was not the most practical fear for her to have (in fact this was about as practical as being a vegetarian shark #LennieTheWhaleWashingDolphin #SharkTale2k4).  I guess the positives to this was that I quickly became a pro rodeo rider, every cloud has a silver lining as Hugh Laurie's character in Stuart Little would say! (Fun fact, I LOVE Hugh Laurie and my friend B met him on a bus once!)

A face that could launch a thousand ships

Howdy Ma'am

Eventually Surprise and I were unbeatable and together we discovered that the limit does not exist, which allowed us to win the math championship for the Mathletes and then proceed on to win Prom Queen!

After a while we moved Surprise to a different stables - this posed another challenge for Surprise and I because this arena was at least double the size to the one at our last stables, would we manage to canter the whole way round? would we be beaten? would we prick our finger on a magic spinning wheel and die?  Who knew but all this uncertainty was new and exciting.  (Spoiler alert, Surprise would canter round that arena all day and all night long by this stage, she had the energy of Forrest Gump now... I was still a sloth)

On Wednesdays we wear pink

Surprise and I had a lot of fun for a few years jumping, treking, sharing secrets and waiting for an absolution that would never come until one terrible awful day.  As it would turn out my parents decided that Surprise was the hero that I deserved, but not the one I needed right now and it was decided that due to a few different reasons Surprise would have to be sold.  The story of us looked a lot like a tragedy now and I wasn't ready to say goodbye.  Eventually after searching high and low my parents and I found a lovely little girl who was perfect for Surprise and so Surprise sent out her change of address card and packed her bags.  The last day was a super emotional event and as Surprise entered the horse box my blood pressure probably dropped really low from all the fluid I was losing through my flood of tears.

Surprise looking cute

I continued to visit Surprise and watch her life through Facebook.  However, a couple of years after Surprise had been sold I received a message via Facebook informing my that sweet little Surprise had been put down due to having really bad colic.

I still miss my crazy little pony.  Like she was actually insane!  She would spin and run at everything, you couldn't let your guard down for even a second otherwise you'd be lying on the cold hard ground - and believe me, more than a handful of people ended up there because of her!  But she was unique and fluffy and basically an all round 12/10 type of gal! 

soaring, flying

#BreakingFree

There's no a star
in heaven that
we cant reach

The moral of the story is that I did my waiting. 12 11 years of it, in Azkaban and then I was rewarded with a magical, fluffy unicorn called Surprise.  

Until next time

xoxo

Queen G