10 Reasons Being A Cat Would Be Better Than Being A Person

Hey guys, so the time finally arrived when my two favourite boys, Harvey the type 2 diabetic kitty and Nacho the inconsistent litter tray user, returned to our apartment!  This was also the week I started on a work placement that required me to wake up at 5am Monday-Friday.  Over this week I thought a lot in the brief period of time between dinner and bed about how many of my problems would be eradicated if I was a cat like Nach and Harv!  Here are the top 10 reason's I'd rather be a cat right now than a real live human girl.

1. No early morning wake up calls from your alarm.  When you're a cat you can sleep any time you want, anywhere you want.
2. Low expectations - the only things people expect from you is for you to go to the bathroom in appropriate places (i.e the litter tray and now the kitchen floor Nacho!) and the occasional hug.
3. You don't have to worry about being late because you don't have anywhere to be... another perk in itself, you don'y even have to leave the house if you don't feel like it.

   

   What I wouldn't give to stay home all day

4. You don't have to make an effort with people when you're tired
5. You don't have to make an effort with people you dont like
6. You don't have to make an effort with people period.

   

   Cat's dont have to do that

7. There is no countdown to the weekend or your next holiday because every day is a holiday
8. You don't have to remember to take food out of the freezer because you get all of your food handed to you on a silver platter.  Or in a nice clean bowl at least.

   

   This is what Harvey looked like pre-diabetes

9. You don't have to plan which meals you're going to have because you eat the same food every day. And you never seem to get bored of it.
10. You have no money worries because you don't need to pay for your food, accommodation or anything else...

    

    Living it up for free

So you see, there really are a lot of perk of being a cute little fluffy feline!  I can't say I don't envy them and how easy their life seems to be.

The moral of the story is that everybody truly does want to be a cat because a cat's the only cat know knows where it's at!

xoxo

Queen G

An Introduction To All Of My Pets Past And Present

Over the years I have owned a variety of different fun pets!  There have been dogs, cats, fish, ponies... However, despite what I may have said as a child to my friends, in hopes of sounding fun and unique, I most definitely did not own a snail that we had to get rid of because it bit me!
Here is a list of every pet I have ever owned and some fun facts about each!

Firstly I'll start with my 2 goldfish: Gold and Goldie.  I got them for Christmas one year, it felt like they lasted for a lifetime when in reality it was probably like a month.  I was convinced I could tell the two fish apart but let's be real... 

I literally have no pics of them

Now let's get to the serious real pets that I could actually bond with and build an emotional attachment to!
My parents owned 2 dogs called Benji and Sandy before I was born and they were still around when I came along.  Sandy would eat absolutely anything in sight, I think I take after him.  The day he died my mum sat over his body crying and I poked him in the eye just to be sure he was really dead.  Then I phoned my dad at his work and shouted down the phone "SANDY IS DEAD AND MUM IS CRYING AND I POKED HIM IN THE EYE BUT HE IS DEAD! REALLY DEAD!" Not exactly the best way to break bad news to someone.  The next day they buried him in the garden and when I ran outside to play I tripped over the slab he was buried under and burst my knee open...  Benji hung on longer, once in his old age, after he had become kind of incontinent, I picked something up off of the sofa telling my mum "I've never tried a truffle before!" She quickly advised not to eat it because it was in fact not a truffle I'll let you put 2 and 2 together... Close call.  

Me and Benji, around the time of
the truffle incident 

Benji and Sandy

Me and sissy on Kipper

Next, before Benji departed this world, I got a Welsh pony called Kipper.  He was the light of my life!  We would go on adventures around our field - no hat, no saddle, no bridle because nah that aint me (much to my mothers dismay).  Literally every day was spent out in the field with Kipper, going on secret missions, learning how to jump, learning how to horse ride in general.  Eventually we moved Kipper to a riding stables and then when I turned 11 Kipper was passed down to my litter sister.  This was the most traumatic moment of my life - my parents gave my sister a card that read "Merry Christmas from your new pony Kipper" and I freaked the eff out, he was mine all mine!! We kept Kipper in our family until the day he passed away - way into his late 30s at least - from colic.

This is what most of my childhood looked like

My last day with Surprise

Continuing on from the Christmas story above... My parent's then gave me a card that Christmas which had a picture of a random Dun/Cream coloured pony which read "Merry Christmas from your new surprise pony" and I was so grateful but still heartbroken about Kipper until I reread it and realised that it actually read "Merry Christmas from Surprise, your new pony". Surprise was my favourite pony from the stables.  Her owner had outgrown her and noticed how much time I spent with Surprise - yes I was a lame preteen - and so offered her to my parents because they knew I'd look after her.  I've already written a whole blog about Surprise but here are a couple of fun facts - she was often mistaken for a boy which made me mad, once while out trekking we got chased by an out of control dog and her old owners used to only feed her organic carrots #fancy.  

Having some summer fun

Baby Nacho -not black and white!

Harvey

Next I'll tell you a little something about Nacho and Harvey, but just a little something because I've blogged about my cats a few times now.  Harvey is an ex obese, current diabetic.  Harvey used to be very fat, antisocial and he sacred me and so I payed him little attention.  We got Nacho - who was advertised as a black and white kitten - and he was so cute and I loved him.  Before moving out of my house for university I noticed Harvey had become skinny and sleepy, turns he had a bad case of the diabetes and since then hes been such a lovely cat!  Nacho was not too happy with us when we brought a puppy home with us to stay.  Nacho can be cute and cuddly when he feels like it, Harvey will cuddle in most of the time.  Harvey is too lazy to object.

Nacho now

he loves a hug

in da woods

Any finally, when I was in my final year of high school my mother decided to let us get a dog!  She decided we were getting a black lab which at first I was totally against but then I realised they were actually really cute! We travelled to the Scottish Borders to got visit a new little family of black lab puppies and fell in love and so as soon as he was of age to leave his mother we went to pic that little puppy up and bring him home.  None of us could agree on a name and so ultimately we let my grandad name him - he chose Riley after one of his classic cars.  Fun facts:  I often call him Boo Riley because I was ready To Kill A Mockingbird when we bought him, he loves shower time, he loves the cats even more and he thinks he's still small enough to sit on my knee - he is not!

Rocking his Christmas jacket

So there you have it, that's my pets.  Currently we still have Riley and the cats.  The moral of the story is that if my pets were Finding Nemo character's they would not have one tentacle shorter than their other tentacles, they wouldn't be H2O intolerant... they'd be obnoxious!  Every last one of them.  In the best of ways
xoxo
Queen G

The Story Of The One And Only Unicorn Princess

For Christmas on my 11th year I got a new pony, this was an extremely practical gift because horse back has always been my preferred method of travel!  Since I was 5 years old I'd ride my pony everywhere; to school, to the swamp, to my

#TotesAdorbs

castle on a cloud (where, fun fact, crying at all is not allowed! Not on my castle on a cloud!).  My new pony was called Surprise and she made all of the other ponies on the yard look like Darth Vader next to Sunshine Barbie!

We first hit a snag when it turned out that dear old Surprise had about as much energy as I did- and that, my dear readers, is about as much energy as a humble sloth!  I mean Surprise wouldn't even canter the whole way round the area without stopping when I first got her.  We hit our second snag when I discovered one day, mid trek, that Surprise had roughly 1 million fears and her greatest fear of all was cows... I should probably explain that I kept her on a dairy farm at this point in time so this was not the most practical fear for her to have (in fact this was about as practical as being a vegetarian shark #LennieTheWhaleWashingDolphin #SharkTale2k4).  I guess the positives to this was that I quickly became a pro rodeo rider, every cloud has a silver lining as Hugh Laurie's character in Stuart Little would say! (Fun fact, I LOVE Hugh Laurie and my friend B met him on a bus once!)

A face that could launch a thousand ships

Howdy Ma'am

Eventually Surprise and I were unbeatable and together we discovered that the limit does not exist, which allowed us to win the math championship for the Mathletes and then proceed on to win Prom Queen!

After a while we moved Surprise to a different stables - this posed another challenge for Surprise and I because this arena was at least double the size to the one at our last stables, would we manage to canter the whole way round? would we be beaten? would we prick our finger on a magic spinning wheel and die?  Who knew but all this uncertainty was new and exciting.  (Spoiler alert, Surprise would canter round that arena all day and all night long by this stage, she had the energy of Forrest Gump now... I was still a sloth)

On Wednesdays we wear pink

Surprise and I had a lot of fun for a few years jumping, treking, sharing secrets and waiting for an absolution that would never come until one terrible awful day.  As it would turn out my parents decided that Surprise was the hero that I deserved, but not the one I needed right now and it was decided that due to a few different reasons Surprise would have to be sold.  The story of us looked a lot like a tragedy now and I wasn't ready to say goodbye.  Eventually after searching high and low my parents and I found a lovely little girl who was perfect for Surprise and so Surprise sent out her change of address card and packed her bags.  The last day was a super emotional event and as Surprise entered the horse box my blood pressure probably dropped really low from all the fluid I was losing through my flood of tears.

Surprise looking cute

I continued to visit Surprise and watch her life through Facebook.  However, a couple of years after Surprise had been sold I received a message via Facebook informing my that sweet little Surprise had been put down due to having really bad colic.

I still miss my crazy little pony.  Like she was actually insane!  She would spin and run at everything, you couldn't let your guard down for even a second otherwise you'd be lying on the cold hard ground - and believe me, more than a handful of people ended up there because of her!  But she was unique and fluffy and basically an all round 12/10 type of gal! 

soaring, flying

#BreakingFree

There's no a star
in heaven that
we cant reach

The moral of the story is that I did my waiting. 12 11 years of it, in Azkaban and then I was rewarded with a magical, fluffy unicorn called Surprise.  

Until next time

xoxo

Queen G

Pretty Kitty, Walkin Down The Street.

Once upon a time all that Queen G wanted was a cat, this of course was a long time before she knew about the poor sea world whales otherwise she would have wanted to save them more... maybe.  Anyway, G longed for a cat with all of her heart and then one day her wish was granted when Harvey the cat came into her life.  Overwhelmed with love she bounded towards the little ball of fluff ready to show him how much she loved him already.  It quickly became clear however that Harvey did not have some cats easy grace with strangers, he didn't make G feel like she'd known him forever even though they'd only just met.  When he purred she didn't smile just at the coquettish sound of it.  As G reached out to pet him for the first time he pounced and attacked her in every way a person can be attacked.  G was hospitalized for 3 days and she was left feeling heartbroken.   

He is too perfect I cant even

A cheeky chappy

This is Harvey

Skip forward a few years.

Nacho the kitten came into G's life and this time she was sure she'd found her kitty soul mate.  Fun fact: Nacho also attacked G when they first met which makes us wonder if maybe G was a little too hands on with the new cats in her life.  Nacho was new and cute and G soon forgot about Harvey.  Harvey slowly got fatter and fatter, probably as a way of crying out for attention.

Nacho when he was a kitten.  

Skip forward a few more years.

Nacho started going through his moody stage, he was at that age when cats think they are just too cool to be seen with their mothers.  Harvey began showing an interest in being part of G's family and he regularly sought out her lap to sleep on.  G slowly developed a new appreciation for Harvey just in time to discover that he was diabetic.  Harvey now needed 2 insulin injections a day and he lost a lot of his fat which actually made him look astoundingly handsome, it wouldn't be an exaggeration to say the most handsome cat G had ever seen!  In no time at all G and Harvey fell in love and the mere though of Harvey brought a tear to G's eyes - he was just so cute and fluffy and cuddly. G couldn't even put into words how much she loves this cat, it's a love like no other and some would even call it the love story of the century. Fun Fact:  Harvey also liked to stick his tongue out and who doesn't love a goofy looking animal!?  

Chillin like a villain 

Hanging with Harvey

All I want for Christmas is you

The moral of the story is that sometimes diabetes really does bring out the best in people, and cats.  

Famous diabetics:

• Elizabeth Taylor
• Charlotte the lifeguard 
• Nick Jonas
• Harvey the cat
• Tom Hanks