Goodnight, Sweet Prince.

Okay I'm just going to get straight into it today...  So the story I'm going to tell you is a love story.  There was a boy.  There was a girl.  When they first met it was an unrequited love in that she liked him but he didn't seem to feel the same way and then over time her feelings fizzled.  This story however was building up to one significant event like the ship hitting the iceberg in Titanic.  The iceberg of this story was diabetes.  Our leading man got a bad case of the diabetes and this must have put everything into perspective for him because he was able to show his true feelings for our leading lady after the diagnosis.  Things really escalated after the medical diagnosis had planted the seeds of love for them, the love began to blossom and bloom and grow.  Before long there love had reached the maximum level that love could reach and then in a sudden twist of fate our leading man was involved in a hit and run and killed.

Our last Christmas together

This is the story of myself and Harvey, the love of my life (and I'm afraid I may never love again).  So I've already told you all about Harvey before and if you haven't read these posts you should check them out so you know Harvey's full story.  Harvey was more Blair Waldorf at her Yale interview than Serena Van Der Woodsen at hers, he definitley looked more Darth Vadar than Sunshine Barbie.  Our relationship started out with me telling him that when the shipped docked in New York I was going to get off with him and he replied "nah man don't" he didn't wan't to teach me how to spit like a man or ride like a man or chew tobacco like a man... In fact I don't think he even really wanted me to get off of the plane - even if there really was a problem with he left phalange.  One day

Harvey looked a little off, and then a lot of off and then it was time to take him to the vet who

When the love hits you
so hard

diagnosed him with diabetes.  After this Harvey just changed so much.  I think that it may have been because I had saved his life and he was eternally grateful but he also stopped packing his angry eyes and just lived a much happier life after that day.  I began to love Harvey so much and I knew the feeling was most definitely mutual, the mere thought of Harvey made me want to burst into tears because I was overwhelmed with how much I loved this cat, I would pick him up and cradle him like a baby and we would dance around the kitchen in the refrigerator light all the time.  The thought of having to provide a fun fact about myself during 'ice breaker' situations no longer terrified me because I could always just say "I have a diabetic cat who we have to inject with insulin twice a day!".  It's so strange that all of this is now gone.  I had always thought that we would go out together Romeo and Juliet style #MurderSuicide.  It will be strange not having anyone march into the living room meowing loudly to announce their presence every morning when I'm at home; it will be weird not having anyone to carry around the house pretending to be my baby and who will be my dance partner when a slow Taylor Swift song comes on!?  

Some fun facts about Harvey:

1. Once he snuck into the car when my mum was going on holiday up north and she had driven for about 10 minutes before Harvey announced his presence with a loud meow and she had to turn around and drop him back at the house #ClassicHarvey

2. He once bit one of my friends mothers when she was petting him, she acted cool but you could tell she wasn't happy #ClassicHarvey

3. He once tried to jump up onto the windowsill while he was outside, he didn't quite make it though and he hit into the window then recreated the scene from The Lion King when Mufasa was hanging off of the ledge #ClassicHarvey

4. Harvey used to be called Harley with his old owners because he purred so loudly it reminded them of a Harley Davidson motorbike #ClassicHarvey

5. Harvey would drool all over me when he was sleeping/purring on my lap and I found out that the drool was caused by an overload of happiness #ClassicHarvey

Handsome young man

So Harvey we had a great time together; a real sad, beautiful, tragic love affair.  You were a legend, the king of cats, our fearless leader!  I will continue to spread the word of Harvey to the masses and make sure your memory lives on in the minds of others as much as you will live on in my heart.  I love you, I miss you, I'll see you again soon - unless they send diabetics to a different place to the medically fit in which case I'll get Charlotte the lifeguard or one of the other famous diabetics to love and mother you like I used to!

xoxo

Queen G.

Rest in peace to the love of my life.

The story of Harvey: http://youcancallmequeeng.blogspot.co.uk/2015/03/pretty-kitty-walkin-down-street.html

The story of when Harvey visited the flat: http://youcancallmequeeng.blogspot.co.uk/2015/03/guess-whos-back-heres-hint-its.html 

A Periodical Look At Our Night Outs

Yo, so my friends and I are rated at about a 9/10 on the 'how basic are you?' scale and our nights out never fail to be a stereotypical, white girl wasted blur.  I, as an influential and popular blogger (4 followers and counting) know the importance of giving the people what they want and what they want is to know what a night out on the town with me is like! 

3 more than B has...

I'm getting drunk tonight

Wake up: Flawless
Ok so on the morning of a night out I wake up, today is the day!  The sun is shining, the tank is clean the tank is clean?!!. Basically from the suns first ray right up until about 4pm I am just trying to pass the time until it is acceptable to start poppin bottles in the ice like a blizzard.



MacdonNOlds

If I'm not sufficiently fed before I start drinking

so roll on 4-5pm and i'll be chowing down on an either too large or too little sized bowl of pasta (I just never could get those pasta measurements right).  I'd like to say I was trying to fill my stomach in order to slow down the pace at which I got drunk because I am a sensible young lady but in reality I'm eating in hopes of deterring the 03.00am MacDonalds cravings.  Not eating pasta before a night out forces me to do something I reaaaaly don't want to do and my diet will be ruined!

"Are you here to make me look pretty?"

2/10 on the cuteness scale

Now it's time to recreate the scene from The Hunger Games when Cinna and the prep team give Katniss a makeover, except I have no Cinna, I have no prep team, I am not Katniss and nobody is coming to make me look pretty - you don't have any friends! Nobody likes you! I attempt to curl my hair but just get annoyed when one side doesn't curl as well as the other, then I try to even out the curls, realise that the curls will all fall out about an hour into the dancing anyway and then move on to make up.  Throw on some make up, some clothes, pack my bag, get my shoes on and then step out into the hall.  
Life advice:  Do not under any circumstances do your make up when you're drunk.  I've been there my friends and it's not pretty!

"Is my make up even?"

Pre drinks 

More like one bottle of vodka

This is the part of the night when we get really really drunk because we're too poor at actually purchase a decent amount of alcohol when we're out.  B and I often make a fun 'punch' which usually consists of half a litre of vodka, some peach schnapps and then a fun splash of fruit juice - fun fact:  turns out I'm not as big a mango fan as I first imagined.  

Ali always knows whats up

So after a glass of our famous magic punch we are as merry as the merry men from Shrek - maybe even merrier!  This can only mean one thing: Karaoke!  If you come to one of our karaoke parties you will hear wonderful renditions of all the classics, for instance: Promiscuous Girl, Don't Dream It's Over (Ariana Grande and Miley Cyrus cover of course), Edel Weiss (sung in a round) and Moon River #Classic. Another cup of punch down the hatch and this is when we decided that either through the art of a good old drinking game or just in a plain old fashioned 'sharing is caring' kind of way it's time to reveal all of our hopes, dreams, fears and secrets #HurricaneGloriaDidn'tBreakThePorchSwingMonicaDid.  Basically by the end of pre drinks we are so drunk we can't even tell if we are white with black stripes or black with white stripes.

To the clubbbb

Getting turnt up in the taxi

The taxi arrives and we leave the flat ditching the 'Ohana is family and family means nobody gets left behind' motto because is you aren't there when the taxi arrives then you're walking.  The taxi often goes something like this, "what is your fake name tonight? *all hands in to the middle* never forget the topping on your pizza *raise hands into the air whilst shouting out your fave pizza toppings* I love this song! Taxi driver can you turn this song up!? *everyone shout sings the song over one another!* wait who is paying for this?  If you pay I'l buy the first round of drinks!"

Up in da club

Name and date of birth?

So we manage to pull ourselves together long enough to hand over our ID's to the bouncer, resit the urge to use a fake name when they ask and pay the entry fee. Then it's straight to the bar to top up our blood alcohol levels before a night of dance battles, sword fighting, turning tricks and fucking shit up.  A tequila shot for one, a tequila shot for all.  

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor

Straight to the dance floor and then song request tactics are discussed:  If you ask for Taylor Swift then I'll ask for Ariana Grande and who is asking for Mmmm Whatcha Say by Jason Derulo?  Because I can feel it, tonight is the night they'll finally play it!  
We put in our song requests and then immediately retreat to the toilets for a quick urination, throwing up and crying session - and maybe even a little magic.  We miss all of our song requests.

You're my best friends I'm so happy right now

Return to the dance floor and there is A LOT of hugging and an infinite amount of declarations of "I love you so much!".  Sometimes the hugs are so passion filled that they take us off of our feet.  Sometimes the love is so overwhelming the only logical thing to do is for B and L to life me up into the air Bar Mitzvah style...

Anyway, here's Wonderwall

Couldn't have said it better myself Julie

Next we head to the rock room - which someone recently told me was actually the cheesy music room but I think that statement is all a but controversial.  I go up to the DJ and request the first rock song I can think of: Can you play some Taylor Momsen!?  We go and dance and then I return to the DJ;
Me: Can you play some Taylor Momsen?
DJ: I just played her
Me: Can you play some Queen?
DJ: You just danced to Taylor Momsen and Queen, how drunk are you!?
Me: Ok I'll take All The Small Things, that's my final offer

Helloooooo Is there anybody alive out there?

We've been waiting for you

We all get split up and while some of us search high and low for our friends tohers decide just to leave the club.  Usually this person is B, slipping out unnoticed to partake in a fun solo adventure wandering the streets intoxicated, cold, under dressed... 10/10 on the safety scale.  Once B and I left together and we went back to the flat and sat in our flatmate's room waiting for her to return.  It took too long so we sprinkled some popcorn on her bed and wrote her name on the door in peanut butter (we are such good friends!)

Casiyes or Casino/Pizza *insert antonym for paradise*

Never forget the toppings on your pizza

Sometimes the night ends magically with a trip to the casino, they do the best chicken burgers and you meet the most wonderful people.  

Otherwise we visit Pizza Paradise and spend at least £10 each on disgusting, under-cooked frozen pizzas...  That is the Edinburgh way after all.  Fun fact: I once drunkenly text my flatmate saying "New phone who dis?" from Pizza Paradise.

Homeward Bound: The Incredible Journey

And this little pig went weee weeee weeee all
the way home

Often one of the best parts of the night is the walk home. A taxi is tempting because the journey home requires us to endure blistering winds and scorching deserts and then we have to climb to the highest bloody room in the tallest bloody tower (and then we find a gender confused wolf who tells us that our princess is already married #ugh #soannoying #theworst # waaaaat?).  However the walk home is the perfect opportunity for impromptu photoshoots on the street, the perfect setting for a fun new music video and the perfect time to make new friends.  From time to time L will run home because that's more fun than walking but I can't join her because I have asthma - and I'm afraid that if I run I'll miss the bush shaped like Shirley Bassey.  Regardless of the pace of our return to the flat nobody can deny that it certainly is one hell of a journey.  

Near far wherever you are

shhhhh everyones in bed

When L and I get home we always have a fun sleepover so we can watch Titanic together.  We tiptoe quite as a mouse around the flat as we get ready for bed so as not to disturb anyone and then start the film.  L gets real deep about how the ship is sinking down below them and the water that once kept the ship afloat ultimately led to it's demise... There are tears over how beautiful Jack is and applause over Rose's ability to see past the shallow world in which she was raised.   I think Titanic is a metaphor for our friendship. It will live on through everything and we will go down with this ship, we wont put our hands up and surrender #dido




The moral of the story is raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens are a few of my favourite things.

Oh Elizabeth

Caz is white girl wasted

Xoxo 

Queen G

Feminists: Yea Or Neigh

Okay so I'm going for a fun new font just to shake things up a bit, I know, I know I am one cray-zeeee mufuckka.  

Anyway as of late certain news articles, yik yak posts and celebrity interviews have got me thinking about all kinds of important things... one of the big topics buzzing around on the internet is feminism and let me tell you this: people are very opinionated on this topic.  

I just want to point out that this post is like focusing on extreme feminism: you know, the type: the free bleeding, nipple exposing types of feminists that are constantly clogging up social media because it is always the overly opinionated it tend to get noticed most.  

So I'm just going to say it:  feminism is a bit of a joke isn't it?  

#Controversial 

Let me explain why.  So feminism is meant to be focused around equality and women's rights but like honestly it just seems like most of the time it's just an excuse for people to grab a torch and pitchfork and recreate that scene from the start of Shrek.  And once these people get started you literally cannot say anything without offending them!  

This is the part where you run away

I 100% agree with the ideas behind feminism but at the same time, as someone who sails through life with an IDGAF attitude it's just hard you know.  I personally am all about the lols, I am not easily offended and I think that is why I have such a hard time with feminism.  You can't joke about a girl being a #sluuuut without being chastised for 'slut shaming'.  You can't want a guy to hold the door open for you or want to be a stay at home mum without being judged.  Honestly, yes there are problems out there relating to equality but as far as the crazy go-hard-or-go-home approach to not offending anyone is concerned I think this has less to do with gender issues and more to do with that fact that some people are just kind of dicks.  

And what is with feminists hating on everything men do?  Like literally what is the point in pretending guys don't have problems too?  Ignoring the problems works in some situations.  For example: to strengthen friendships according to L (although I think this is stupid), when you don't have enough money for a pizza but you buy one anyway or when one of your fave shows is going downhill but you have nothing else to watch.  But ignoring that fact that things aren't perfect for the #lads out there just because you think men are the nefarious spawn of Satan is just another reason why hardcore feminism is 12/10 on the annoying scale.  
Feminism is mean to promote the idea that women can be whatever they want to be so if a woman wants to be co-dependent or doesn't want to be a feminist at all then shouldn't that be supported?

I mean it's kind of true

I just seems like some of these people are playing a bit of a victims role, like half of your problems are either A) society issues rather than gender issues or B) due to your lack of personality or you know C) not even problems at all.  

I'm not saying that things are perfect or that maybe some things could change but what I am saying is that some guys and girls say nasty things about women's looks/sexual habits/abilities etc and some guys or girls do the exact same thing to men too.  Yes society has set extremely high expectations on woman, mostly on their looks.  But on the flip side guys have extremely high expectations set on being manly or on their jobs/earning.  And if feminists are trying to have woman viewed as more than just their looks (which i do agree with) then isn't that also kind of increasing the pressure on woman too, like now woman feel like they need to be more independent and like they have something to prove etc.

It's time for life advice

Basically yes I can see the the positive sides to feminism to an extent, yes this post focuses on the extremes and looks at the negatives more than the positives but can't we all just agree that sometimes life sucks regardless of your gender.  Lets spend less time complaining about the problems and more time enjoying ourselves because in like 100 years its pretty much guaranteed that everyone reading this article will be dead regardless.

The moral of the story is when you look at the face of evil, evils gonna look right back at you.

Evil will do that to you, it will do it every time

The moral of the story is also why nay when you can neigh!

Sassy pony

xoxo
Queen G

(disclaimer: I wrote this for the lols, don't know how to write about anything serious, I cant read)

Is Ed OK?

Okay so if you know me at all then you'll know that I love Ed Westwick so much!  But what used to be feelings of admiration and oh-my-god-I-want-to-marry-you have now turned to feelings of concern and they aren't too far from those of a concerned mother.  You see Ed used to be one of the greats, he was the Jack Dawson, king of the world standing Titanic's bow, of teen dramas.  Ed portrayed Chuck Bass in the CW's Gossip Girl.  Chuck was a boy billionaire who thought of nothing other than himself, sex and money and throughout the 6 years that Gossip Girl reined the small screen Chuck grew and developed as a character (Fun Fact: during this time he undoubtedly fell in love with Leighton Meester but it was an unrequited love, how tragic) .  Chuck was one of the most popular characters from the show and he initiated many young teens sexual awakenings and to this day, largely thanks to Netflix, he continues to be on many youngsters I-would-bang lists.  

So how does the actor who brought thee Chuck Bass to life, a star of such a successful teen drama end up having to send out a change of address card because he's moving away from cloud 9!?  On the surface Ed seems to be doing just fine but let me tell you this he is not.  He is the Ross Geller of fine, and to all you poor unfortunate souls who for whatever godawful reason haven't seen Friends 'Ross Geller fine' is not fine at all!  

Item Number 1

Who posts this type of picture of themselves?

So like Gossip Girl is over, the movie role offers aren't exactly rolling in and you're starting to get a bit nervous about that fact that you perhaps shouldn't have bought Jessica Szoewhogivesacrap that expensive book about how not to cheat on your boyfriend because you're going broke.  I mean I could see how that could do things to a guy but I wouldn't say that setting up an international T-shirt business is the normal, natural response.   And sure the tshirts are for charity and sure it's all fun and games but like the way that Ed promotes them seems a little desperate and a bit like a cry for help.  Almost as if he truly believes that he is Chuck Bass and there is only the one of him swimming around in the sea, desperately looking for Blair Waldorf and wondering why she doesn't call, doesn't write... why she's living with that guy from that show, you know the one, the less extreme Gossip Girl of California.

Item Number 2

"Gotta look where you going" -
Ed Westwick 12 May 2015

So again I would say that really there are two options of what happened here.  Either A) Ed sat on  his phone and made this fun edit of himself or B) He google image searched himself and saved this picture off of the internet.  Next he decided to upload this picture to his Facebook, twitter and instagram pages with the caption which is below.  I mean I don't know if it's meant to be an inspirational quote or some legit life advice.  Personally I think it's a shout out to Adam Brody like either he is saying "yo man I'm coming for you, get away from my girl" or he is saying "one minute you're happily married, living on the upper east side with a child and the next thing you know some punk steals your girl".  I don't even know but it just doesn't seem like the kind of thing you upload of yourself.  Ed, oh ed.

Item Number 3

Are you guys on Twitter?
Find me there @EdWestwick or link in bio

So then Ed uploads this fun selfie because that's what everyone on the brink of a breakdown does.  Oh my life is falling apart, but first let me take a selfie!  Honestly when a screen legend, THE STAR OF CHALET GIRL, needs to beg for followers that's when you know!  I can't even say anything else.  Except at least this proves that, even if only every now and then, Ed knows that he is Ed Westwick and not Chuck Bass.  Because L and I are genuinely concerned that sometimes he struggles to tell what is real and who he really is.





Item Number 4

Thinking...

And finally there is this picture, captioned "Thinking".  And honestly I think this is sort of #relatable because honestly Ed, you got me thinking too.  You got me wondering about what you're thinking, and what you make of what's happening to you.  Are you ok?  

Please call me when you have found yourself, I understand we can't be together just now.  You can't love others until you love yourself.  



I cant help but wonder:  Are Ed's social media accounts being run by 14 year old fan girls?  



The moral of the story is somewhere beyond the sea I'll be waiting for Ed once he is ready to say goodbye to the Bass, the only Bass in the sea according to his Tshirts.

Yes of course I own a tshirt

XOXO
Queen G

10 Reason Why Spirit Is #Relatable

Boom bitches, I'm back.  So lately B and I have been making our way through our long list of starbuck lovers no I mean ex-lovers ugh third time lucky, our long list of movies we need to watch together.  The last film we watched was Spirit - which for those who haven't seen it I'll just let you know that it really is an emotional roller coaster.  Before watching this film we worried it would fail to meet our high expectations because before Spirit we had watched Shrek 1 and Shrek 2 and lets be real those films really are hard acts to follow!! 

I soon realised that where Spirit is lacking in humour it makes up in relatablitiy and I'll explain why below.

1.  Spirit was born.  I was born (not in a field surrounded by my mothers closest friends but I was born nonetheless)
2. He is the definition of #HairGoals

Because you're worth it

3. Anddddd #eyebrowgoals

Cara DelaNeigh

4. Like any other youngun he has hormonal urges, I mean one look into Rain's eyes and he knew that he wanted her, he wanted all of her, forever, him and Rain, every day.

An apple for the lady

5. He looked longingly out of the train window imagining a sad movie scene playing out on front of him.  Who hasn't done that when a sad song came on while they were travelling.
6. When he thought he saw his eagle friend but it was just a random eagle.  Like we have ALL been there!  Thinking you see someone you know and you wave or say hi or tap on their shoulder... spoiler alert: it's not them!

Okay this eagle was actually his friend but...

7. He appreciated the genious of Bryan Adams, and he protested to his kidnapping whilst listening to the song 'You Cant Take Me I'm Free'.  I think we can all agree that when we were growing up we had (or still have) that song that we feel just gets us, on a spiritual level.
8. He is such a sass monster, a real #lad.  If Spirit was a human he would be a chino wearing, cheeky Nandos eating, T In The Park attending, honda civic driving after 10 Jaegar Bombs (because drink driving just adds to the fun) kind of guy.  I can't say we would get along but I think he would be very attractive and, well I'll move on.

Look Shrek, I'm trottttting

8. He couldn't handle the chain.  His was an actual chain but we all know that one person who tries to be a mad rapper, 2 chainz style.  Man, whatchu gon do? Get out ma grille dawg, you gon call the po po? (I have no idea if that is how they talk, I'm too basic)
9. Also we have all felt at one time or another that everyone expects too much from us, I think Spirit felt like he had the weight of the world on his shoulders and I've been there too my friends, I've been there too!
10. Finally, Spirit had to go through some though ass punishment! 3 days tied to the pole with not food or water, poor thing poor thing! I myself have never been starved by my parents but now that I live on my own on days when the old bank funds are running low and I cant afford to eat I have been able to imagine how Spirit must have felt.

When you try you're best but you don't succeed.

The moral of the story is that life never give's you lemons.  It never gives you anything.  You have to earn things in life, you aren't entitled to no goddamn lemons!!

XOXO
Queen G

Types of Friends: Part 2 C and N

I don't even know why this post is called types of friends anymore because essentially I am just telling you stories about my friends but yolo.  

So now I'll tell you about C and N.

3. C

Name: C
Age: 19
Height: Perfect hugging height
Favourite film: "IDK... Harry Potter?" - C
Spirit animal: Simba
We met: June 2014

So one day at the end of my second year of university, just before the summer when I was going to work in a summer camp, N came through to my room for  a lazy day watching Gossip Girl (we were trying to finish it before I went away for the summer.)  I suddenly got a Facebook notification saying I had a friend request and it was from C, I had no idea who it was and I assumed from her surname she was Irish (fun fact she was from New Zealand)... I accepted her when I saw she had messaged me saying we would be working at camp together.  We had some general Facebook chat and I had to delete the Facebook app off of my iPad because all the messages were really disturbing the flow of the Blair Waldorf show.  Basically a few weeks and flights later I arrived in good ole Iowa and I was first to arrive to camp which was hella unusual because I tend to live like the little white rabbit from Alice And Wonderland, always late.  I awoke from my slumber in the middle of the night to see C and the other Australasian's in the cabin which was a little awks but yolo.  The next day C and I were left at camp alone and I'll admit I chose to stay at camp rather than going into town because I wanted to hang with C - I had already chosen her to be my camp BFF (Although I hadn't predicted she would graduate up into full on BFF also!)  We explored, we bonded, we connected on an emotional level! We watched Broadchurch together, she taught me the Kiwi way and I taught her the ways of the Scots.  Throughout the whole couple of month we were in America we got closer and closer - closer than even I could have thought possible and I live for closeness!  We adopted the personas of Thing 1 and Thing 2 and although we hadn't known each other for very long I knew that I was taking this friendship to the grave, if C jumped I jumped!  If C was Harry Potter then I wanted to be her invisibility cloak so that I could shelter her from all of the evils of the world!  If she was a Pegasus then I wanted to be her wings so I could lift her up into the sky.  If I was Blair Waldorf then she was my headband, I'd be nothing without her.  Then C came to Edinburgh not once but twice and in those visits we explored the city, we drank more than our fair share of alcohol and we frolicked like I'd never frolicked before.  

3 words to describe our friendship: growsera, waffles, llama. 

4: N

Name: N
Age: 20
Height: Fun sized
Favourite Film: Probs Frozen
Spirit Animal: Olaf
We Met: Many moons ago on a planet far far
away

So you may be surprised to find that I wasn't always allowed to roam freely, turning tricks and fucking shit up.  Once I was confined to a child minder's and I did not appreciate being held like an animal in a zoo, locked behind bars for all to point at and take pictures of and so I spent a lot of time on da streets.  It was on the streets that I met N and I just thought she was the coolest girl in school, like 10/10 on a coolness scale - maybe even 11/10!  But one day I nearly messed the whole thing up when I was cycling behind her and ,classic G, i was in a world of my own so when she hit her brakes I did not notice and I cycled right into the back of her, she got mad, real mad but then the next day we were best friends so I think we can all learn a lesson here!  We spent our childhoods together, spying on the neighbours, rocking the house down in our band - the Sk8er Girls and doing all kinds of cool shit.  I thought N had the coolest bed room ever because she had many leather bound books and her room smelled or rich mahogany.  As we aged we kind of fell out of touch yet I still considered her my best friend and I dont know if that was a testament to our friendship or if it shows that I was a bit lame and didn't really have any other friends... Anyhow, when I was in 6th year I moved to N's school and we picked up right where we left off studying Mandarin together,  slaying dragons and saving damsels in distress.  Then plot twists: we went to university together and we lived together and we got drunk together, because we gotta stay high drunk all the timeee.  In second year we traveled to a dark, dank land ruled over by the underlord Jabba the Hutt and honestly I didn't think we would survive it... but we did because we are survivors, I mean there were only 6 survivors, ourselves included.  6, out of 1500!!  Anyways now all is well and although we no longer live together our friendship is as strong as ever because it's going to be forever or it's going to go down in flames - and by that I mean that our friendship will last a life time or I'm going to destroy everyone and everything.  This friendship is like oxygen, it is a many splendid thing, it lifts us up where we belong all you need is love friendship!  We even met Queen Elsa of Arandelle together!!! I mean you can't go through that and not share a special bond!

Our friendship in 3 words: pizza, eternity and snuggles.

N and I with Elsa

The 3 of us on Halloween

C and I in
Chicago

The moral for part 2 of the story is here comes a lion, Father.  Oh yes it's a lion!  And there are no ogres in Pretty Woman... 

That's all folks (but remember it's not ogre, it's never ogre!)

xoxo

Queen G

Types of Friends: Part 1 B and L

So this week my timehop app informed me that exactly a year ago I became facebook friends with one of my now best friends C.  This got me thinking about our friendship, and then about my other friends and friendship in general... 

I have 4 best friends: B, C , L and N (in alphabetical order so as to avoid any fighting over who is my number 1 - I'm in very high demand.)  Here is a little about each of them and the different type of friendship each of us have!  I 'll write about B and L in this one and then C and N in the other because it's going to be wayyyyyyy too long for one post.

1: B

Name: B
Age: 19 20
Height: Slightly smaller than me
Spirit Animal: Cougar
Favourite Film: Shrek
We Met: September 2012

Okay, the story starts like in what I'll estimate to be September 2012.  I have this god awful new class at uni which started with a lecture theater full of dead eyed students fresh into their first year of university and already having major regrets.  I sat somewhere in the middle of the lecture hall resisting the urge to assert my dominance by taking over the top steps of the Met row of seats. 2 hours later we are split into small classes of about 40.  I make my way to the class room where my new class will be, once I get there we were once again split into smaller groups.  The firsts activity of the day was to get to know your group by going round the table and telling the group something about yourself... So I began: Hi I'm G and I am a shark not a mindless eating machine (and don't quote me on this because I legit cannot remember if this was the fun fact I threw in about myself) I went to America during the summer before uni started.  B was next and as it would turn out she was from America!  instantly it was all like "OMG WE HAVE THE SAME SHOES WERE IN THE SAAAAME COUNTRY, WE WERE MEANT TO BE BFFL!."  I began to look forward to this class because I got to hang with B, she turned up to class drunk one time and that was when I knew for sure that she was a fun loving kind of gal.  We met up a few time outside of class with our other friends but unfortunately I was not 18 and couldn't go out clubbing with them (well actually wait for the story about L...)  In second year our worlds imploded and we didn't really see each other at all.  Then one day I heard the song Moonriver playing vaguely in the back of my mind as I was walking down the street, it got louder and louder and when I checked my phone I found out why... It was Audrey singing me home because B and L were asking me to move in with them for third year! 

Third year with B has been the best of the best, we got closer than ever and I guess the kind of friendship we have is one that we just clicked instantly and now she is the friend that I know is up for anything.  If its guaranteed to be fun, crazy and a good story to tell then B will be there.  I mean for example:  we went go on fun adventures to the duck pond, past that bush that looks like Shirley Bassey, we attended Lorde's birthday party, we got stuck up chocolate creek without a popsicle stick... the list goes on but I shall not.

3 words to describe our friendship: Silly, popcorn and (potentially) catastrophic .

2: L 

Name: L
Age: 20
Height: Like Tilda Swinton tall
Spirit animal: Badger (Hufflepuff yo)
Favourite Movie: Titanic
We met: Slightly later in September 2012

  

So shortly after meeting B my flatmates and I decided to throw a party and I wanted to invite B but she was going home that weekend ( dammit Janet!) But my flatmates knew some of her flatmates and ultimately we invited her whole flat.  Some people I don't associate myself with had told me all these storied about this horrible girl called L who they thought was rude, uncouth and presumptuous (actually they thought she was a real cold heart breaker).  So then a few vodka lemonades into the night L makes an appearance and instantly we hit it off (okay so maybe I don't have that many different ways of making friends, I'm pretty predictable actually I mean we either hit it off instantly and start a 'go hard or go home' intense as fuck friendship or there's like nothing...)  So then I said what about Breakfast At Tiffany's? She said I think I remember the film and as I recall I think we both kind of liked it I've never seen it.  I'll admit, at first I was slightly deterred by this but before long that was all forgotten and we were ready to partyyyyy (for roughly 15 mins before L passed out on my kitchen floor.) Then there was the times I referred to above when we hung out with B and others (spoiler alert: the 'others' was really just 1 other and it was N).  Then one night they were going to go out but I was only 17 (ugh sigh, sigh sigh sigh) then we came up with the genius idea: I would go out with them using L's ID... I got into club number 1 because it had literally 4 other people in it and they were desperate, then we got cocky and headed somewhere more lively and fun... I was rejected instantly because I look nothing like L.  Anyway fast forward to 3rd year because you can fill in the rest of the blanks between 1st and 3rd year with the B stories.  So L and I have a friendship where we can finish each others sandwiches.  We bonded over many a splendid thing such as our shared h2o intolerance, our super obsession with Gossip Girl and the fact that we were both going to write strongly worded letters to White Star Line.  We love nothing more than to watch titanic drunk at 4am and nobody does a pub crawl like and B and S (AKA a G and L) pub crawl. 

3 words to describe our friendship:  Presh, sleepovers and passionate. 

This one time in first year we were cheerleaders together:

  

Our cheer leading
song was I Dont Care
I Love It.

Send out the change of
address cards
because I'm moving
to cloud 9

It was St Patrick's Day

The moral of part 1 of this story is that when you get friendship right it just gets you going and it hits all the right spots!

tbc...