I'm feeling 20 too, and it's a lot of fun!

Saturday February 21st 2015

Queen G woke rather groggily at approximately 08.30 to a small flurry of Facebook messages.This could mean only one thing, it was her birthday!!  It was a moment she had been waiting for for a long time, she was now able to sing 20 too (which is a song rather similar to 22 by Taylor Swift except the word two has been changed to too, wow that was a lot of two/to/too's for one sentence).  Queen G was officially no longer a teenager, and do you know how it made her feel? Hungry! G and L emigrated to the kitchen and they filled themselves up with cereal - fun fact G's favourite cereal is honey cheerios.  G then opened her cards and before she knew it she was rollin in the dolla! She had made a whole £35 alongside a £15 Primark voucher - wowwee.  L then headed out on a conquest uptown and G proceeded to clean her room.  Before long S and B had also awoken and they both gave G a warm and welcoming birthday hug which G loved because she lived for hugs.  G and B began to tidy the apartment in anticipation for the upcoming soiree.The tidying was, in the words of 7 year old Taylor Momsen, a lot of fun!! Before they knew it the apartment was glowing and gleaming and the floor was clean enough to eat off of.  J and L returned to the flat and guess what time it was? Presents time!! 

When your pillow case just gets you

A poster of quotes that sum me up

A service bell fit for a queen

Queen G was royally spoiled by her best friend, comrades in arms and side hos, she was simply overwhelmed with gratitude.

Next the 4 girls participated in a heated game of moods which is a board game which is a lot of fun!! Almost as much fun as when you get fake eyelashes because you haven't grown into your nose yet! The winner was undetermined because the game was cut short due to an impromptu visit from a surprised guest - a guest who was visiting forever!!

This is love

Chuck and Blair

Oh my, could it really be? 

Yes that is correct G's true love Ed Westwick turned up for what? for G, and he agreed to move in forever!! G briefly passed out like a southern belle from an old film but she was awoken by smelling salts and was then able to continue her day as chirpy as ever!  It was a good thing she felt better too because it was then revealed that G's fun friends had bought multiple types of delicious cupcakes for her birthday and everyone chose their favourite flavour of cake - fun fact G chose the red velvet cake!

The girls then made their merry way to the store to pick up last minute party supplies but that is another story for another day.

Until next time,

xoxo Queen G

The birth and death of the Harry Potter graveyard obsession.

The graveyard became an instant favourite location for G, B and L.  The first spontaneous trip was enough to solidify how important the graveyard would be to this friendship, even if one member of the trio wasn't convinced.  That member of the group was later convinced when in a sudden strange turn of events, which some would call fate, an organised New Years Eve event led them back there.  However in the third and final visit to the graveyard it was clear that nothing lasts forever and the graveyard was no longer a place for fun friends to hang out.  Now lets revisit the whole story from start to finish in more detail!


Monday October 27th 2014

Queen G, B and L were sitting in the hall of their wonderful penthouse on the Upper East Side of Edinburgh.  The girls were contemplating what fun activity they were going to take part in that evening when G was struck with a brilliant idea.  You see G's best Kiwi friend had recently been visiting and she had gone to the graveyard to see Tom Riddles grave because, fun fact, Harry Potter was written in a cafe beside the graveyard and J.K Rowling had taken names off of some of the graves and put them in her book.  One of those names was Tom Riddle and so you can actually go to visit Lord Voldemort's grave while you are in Edinburgh, isn't Scotland fun?  Anyways, it was decided that the girls would indeed go to see Tom however once they arrive at the graveyard they somehow ended up right in the middle of a ghost tour.  What does one do when one finds themself in the middle of a ghost tour that they did not plan to take part in nor did they pay for?  They keep their heads low and enjoy this brand new unexpected adventure!  Ultimately they never found Tom's grave that night but they left with a brand new appreciation for the graveyard and with high hopes that one day they would return.

Tom Riddle's Grave.

Wednesday December 31st 2014/Thursday January 1st 2015

Queen G and L were spending New Years together and it was all very exciting!  They had written a contract which stated a list of rules that the two girls must follow throughout the night and they had plans to attend a pub crawl.  One of the rules was that the girls would not visit the graveyard that night because as it would turn out L wasn't such a big fan of the graveyard after all.  However fate intervened and the tour guides led our group into the graveyard just before midnight because the graveyard had a wonderful view of the castle and the fireworks.  This was surely a sign that the graveyard, now dubbed the raveyard, was in fact their destiny.  The girls had an all round great night, fun for the whole family! AND they even got to see Tom's grave!  I guess it's only fair to say theu spend New Years with Lord Voldy!

G and L in the raveyard on New Years Eve

Saturday February 14th, the final visit

Queen G and B ended up spending Valentines day with each other, lets call it Galentines day!  L had returned to the neighboring city for a fun family weekend and the other girls actually didn't cope so well with her absence, it cut them deep, it cut them real deep Shrek!  What do 2 single girls do on Galentines day?  They go to the raveyard!  However, this time something was different.  Upon entering the raveyard the girls noticed a clocked figure walking just ahead of them.  To this day G is still certain it was a death eater!  There is no other logical explanation!  The girls beat on, boats against the current determined not to have their special placed ruined by an evil murderous wizard!  The girls ended up being separated and in her panic G phoned L, the tears were near for she was positive she was about to die.  Queen G estimated her pulse to be roughly 200 beats per minute and she was afraid that Voldy was going to rise out his grave and everything would go down in flames, it leave her breathless or with a nasty (scar on her forehead).  When the girls caught up with one another, they left the graveyard and G knew things would never be the same again, this was no longer their fun place, it was a place she had looked death in the eyes!

A Spontaneous Hike To Watch The Sunset

Saturday February 7th 2015 continued 

As you may remember on Saturday the 7th Queen G and her cohorts set off on a magical adventure to feed the most soothing of all gods creatures, the ducks.  Now i bet that since reading that post you have been absolutely dying to find out what happened next, it's probably kept you up at night and you have felt an emptiness deep within your soul.  Fear not, because I am now going to give you the answers you have desperately been seeking!

The story left off with Queen G feeling so happy to have spent the late afternoon feeding the ducks with two of her favourite friends L and B.  However in the words of one of the most influential television characters of all time, Cyrus Rose, this activity was simply

Gazing to the sky the 3 girls noticed how beautiful it looked and they were suddenly struck with a fantastic idea, they would climb the mountain that stood before them to watch the sunset.  Due to the last minute decision to watch the sunset the girls suddenly realised that they were in a race against time as the sun was setting fast and they still had a whole mountain to tackle!  They mutually decided to go rouge and leave the official path. They didnt have time to wind their way around the mountain track, thy would have to head straight up even though the climb might kill them!  G instantly regretted wearing her Ugg boots as they left the track and began squelching their way through the long grass and rabbit droppings!  Aware of the time limit on their mission they began to run, which was hard for G because she was 90% sure she had asthma. The climb was hard but they made it, just in time to see the most beautiful view of the year so far!

The girls contemplated how even after hundreds of years when they were dead and gone Edinburgh would still be there and there would still be beautiful skies and sunsets and a million other lame things such as that (B may have even shed a tear).  Then G introduced the girls to prancercise and taught L how to descend a mountain without falling on your butt.  Then of course like in any 21st century fairy tale they concluded their spiritual journey with a photo shoot

It was on their way back down the mountain that the real troubles began.  You see everyone knows that 3 girls alone on top of a mountain surrounded by bushes and shrubs is the setting of like 73% of horror movies out there.  G, L and B were certain that there were cannibals in the bushes, or at least G was and her anxieties were rubbing off on her cohorts.  They walked swiftly back down the mountain, again not sticking to the official paths because yolo.  Suddenly they came face to face with a sheer drop, one wrong move and it would be certain death!  They were in quite a situation as they could not climb back up the mountain otherwise G would surely have an asthma attack but they also didn't want to fall off of the mountain.  B and L cautiously scaled the mountain side eventually making their way safely to the bottom.  G was still stuck, she carefully maneuvered her way down the slippery rocks, just when she thought she had made it her foot feel away from under her.  She came crashing down the the ground, it was a downfall that outshone even that of the classic 2007(ish) Lindsay Lohan downward spiral.  Anyway, the real moral of the story is always wear sturdy footwear for you never know where the day might take you.  Sturdy footwear for a sturdy soul

Until next time, over and out

xoxo,

Queen G

The Ducks Do Soothe Me

Saturday February 7th 2015

One fine Saturday afternoon Queen G, B and L were alone in their apartment when they were struck with a fabulous idea, they would go feed the ducks!  The weather in the kingdom had been relentlessly horrific for 30 days and 30 nights prior to that Saturday and with the sudden reappearance of the sunshine it had been impossible to resist going on a leisurely stroll.  Wrapped up in their coats and scarves and with a loaf  of orange Warburtons in hand they set off on their adventure.

G felt a wave of happiness wash over her at the thought of the impending soothing she was about to experience because the ducks soothed her in a way that nothing else could.  Queen G and her cohorts walked purposefully through the crowds, the village was a glow.  Kaleidoscopes of loud heart beats under coats.  B lead the way down a path she was familiar with, leading them straight into the heart of the ghetto which G and L found most unnerving.  They tip-toed by the windows of the derelict buildings afraid that any minute could be their last, it was one things to go down town and be among middle class professionals and mole men but the ghetto was something else.  It was as they passed under a urine scented underpass that they heard the gun shot ring out! L pushed G and B behind her and she began to run - classic L! L had forgotten that B was a former cross country champion and it took B no time at all to over take her, G caught a ride on B's back and they escaped the ghetto first leaving L far behind them.  L eventually caught up, unharmed, and the fun friends beat on, boats against the current.  The girls entered the field, the ducks were so close they could practically smell them!! as they walked across the mushy grass they sensed they were being watched, there was a soft thudding noise in the distance gradually growing louder and louder.  G really wished she hadn't been wearing red as they suddenly saw the outline of a ginormous bull come tearing up the field towards them.  It was a race against time, the gate to their freedom and to the sweet sweet sanctuary of the ducks was so close but so far.  G tore off her coat and threw it to the ground hoping it would distract the bull long enough to save their souls.  B grabbed the coat off of the ground because it was her coat and she wasn't about to leave it in that field as bull bait.  Luckily against all odd the girls were able to out run the bull, leaping over the gate and arriving finally in any duck lovers paradise.

 

The ratio of swans/geese to ducks was a little upsetting, at first glance it seemed that there were no ducks at all and G was overcome with anguish.  However, then she saw a duck, then another and more and more arrived, almost as if they had all turned up just for her!  As soon as her eyes fell on the ducks G felt instant peace and happiness and as she looked at her friends she knew the feeling was mutual.  Queen G was so glad she has been able to share this magical experience with her closest confidants and fellow adventurers.
until next time xoxo,
Queen G

The Blackfish viewing party

One fine day many moons ago Queen G was home alone, struggling to wade her way through the extensive number of irrelevant movies on netflix.  All she wanted was to find a fine piece of cinematic masterpiece to move her to her core and make her feel like nothing else ever had.  She was numb on fizzy juice and jaffa cakes and she had forgotten what it was like to feel anything other than full.  Suddenly fate intervened and two worlds collided, the world of Queen G and that of the whales.  90 heartbreaking minuets later Queen G knew her mission was clear, she was to spread the word of the whales (which is hard because each family of Orca speaks its own unique language) and where better to start than with her own cohorts.  Queen G took to her quill and parchment to write out an invitation to a exclusive soiree to view this out of this world extravaganza.  She attached the invitation to the leg of a white dove and sent it on its way across the kingdom to the humble abodes of the most trusted members of her inner circle.  Tempers rose when the RSVPs came back with a flurry of declines.  As time passed Queen G couldnt help but pity those around her when she saw how empty their lives were without Blackfish, however, one day this all changed.

Wednesday February the 4th 2015 AD
As evening fell onto the kingdom G and B desperately wanted to partake in a delightful cinema adventure but L and S were not so keen.  After intense discussion, some heated words and even a some brawl it was decided that the 4 girls would stay in and watch Blackfish.  Hurrah! Almost instantly the cohorts realised that they had made a terrible mistake when they had initially declinded their invite to this party.  They were headed on a journey to enlightenment that they could have embarked on several months prior. The 4 girl had just boarded an emotional roller coaster and no one was getting off of this ride alive! This was especially true for L who was maimed whilst in the midst of attacking B (I'd like to point out that I had asked the two scalawags to quit their bickering and pay attention to the whales several times before this injury occurred and maybe if they had respected myself and the whales enough to listen to me this travesty would never have happened).
Anyway the whales got a solid 10 out of 10 from us, props to all involved.

After the film finished we all went our separate ways however we shared a mutual final destination: dream land.

I think this whole experience brought us closer together, friends that whale watch together stay together.  In the words of a wise young owl who has 7 Grammys (so far) "Whale! Yes whale!!!"

That's all for now.
xoxo,
Queen G

20 facts about me

1. Once while attempting to prancersie down a mountain I fell on my ass and slid 20 meters before landing in a river.  After being submerged in the icy water for roughly 20 minutes i was resuscitated by a bear and it took me in as one of its own cubs.  I lived among the bears for 4 years before returning to civilization just in time for the much anticipated release of 50 Shades Of Grey the movie.
 
2. Fact number 1 may have been slightly exaggerated, however i did fall down a mountain while prancersising.  No shade.

3. I am a liar.

4. My favourite animals are dolphins and whales.  I've saved 6 whales in my short life and I hope to save at least 3 more.

5. I was nearly ravaged by a rat in my apartment last week, I fought it off with exposed wires and my bare teeth.  They dont call me the dark knight for nothing.

6. I've never been called the dark knight in life, much to my disappointment.  If you would like to call me that I guess that would be okay. No shade.

7. Taylor Swift is everything to me.  Every time I see, hear or feel her presence I have 12 heart attacks in a row.  Life without TayBae would be meaningless and I'd need to get a torch because she is the light of my life.

8. Yes Hilary, yes.

9. You know what else is everything?  The youtube video of Ed Westwick drunk, If you don't know what I'm talking about look it up.  You're welcome.

10. I worked as a horseback riding instructor in America summer of 2014 and I made friends with a pony called Bug.

11. On more occasions than I'd like to admit my soul has been possessed by the spirit of Blair Waldorf.

12. In the hit 2006 - 2012 tv show I voiced Gossip Girl.  It wasnt Kristen Bell.  Its a conspiracy.

13. I spent New Years Eve with Tom Riddle AKA Lord Vold.  This one actually isn't a lie.

14. I study film and media.

15. I came 4th in a horse show, there were only 4 horses.  I may have told my friend there were 6 horses then save some face.

16. My father left my mother for a 31 year old model.  A male model.

17. My favourite colour is pink

18. When I met Queen Elsa at Disneyland I looked like I needed to be sedated.

19. I met Forrest Gump when I was in Chicago and he gave me a chocolate.

20. I got a brand new pair of roller skates!

xoxo
Queen G